suddenlysinglewomen

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/12/jane-seymour-divorce_n_6315274.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

You’re Not Alone – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

I used to find one of the hardest things to deal with “post” divorce, was how alone I felt. There was constant doubt of “what could I have done different”, etc. that took me a long time to realize the answer was NOTHING! The shortcoming was not mine, it was his.

However, you still wonder if anyone else ever feels that same “lost” and “alone” feeling and how they deal with it? Many keep it hidden, many allow it to drive them crazy, some feel comfortable getting it out there in the open and talking about it with family, friends, clergy, counselors and therapists. We all deal differently but the key to remember is you are not alone and there are so many others out there going through this life altering experience.

When I see interviews like this, it reminds me that even those we perceive as beautiful and perfect still have broken hearts and loneliness. Please enjoy this snippet of an interview I came across with Jane Seymour after her divorce. They seem to have met in common ground and have a healthy relationship. Not all of us are that fortunate.

This is certainly one of the times during the year that it’s brought so forward in our attention of being “alone”. Cling to those who make you smile and laugh and bring you joy during the Holidaze!! Wishing you great peace and prosperity in 2015!!

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

Sad Statistics – What Are We Doing Wrong???

by suddenlysinglewomen

I recently read a study in an old copy of my AARP magazine. (Yup, I’m that old – although you start getting this when you hit 50, and that is no longer “old”)

It talks about the statistics of divorce rates and it was just plain ol’ depressing. I have marriageable aged sons and this depresses me for them and for their generation. They have already had friends get divorced – EGAD! What’s our world coming too?

So on days when you feel so alone and betrayed by being a divorcee, think of these numbers and realize that you are by far no longer the minority. Divorce is everywhere and a sad state of affairs (pun intended!).

“In the 1950’s, 60 percent of U.S. families consisted of two married parents: a breadwinner and a homemaker. Today only 20 percent of American children live in such a family. Instead, couples divorce – or never marry in the first place – and form new households, raising their kids in a tumble of step- and half-siblings. And although the divorce rate has been declining among younger couples, among boomers it has increased 50 percent in the past 20 years – with no slowdown in sight. The baby boomers are likely to have the highest lifetime levels of divorce of any generation born in the 20th century.“

I don’t have an answer to this, but I can still recognize that it’s very sad to realize how easy it is to be cast off for that “greener grass” on the other side of the fence.

It’s no wonder so many of my single women friends have NO desire to ever put themselves in that position again. I guess instead of a fence, we should have built walls . . .

A Simple Thought For All Of You Today . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

Divorce Recovery Divorce Settlements Fresh Starts Girlfriends Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

Let Gratitude Change Your Attitude – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

So I was driving along the other day and there was a break in the music on the radio for a church ad. Usually I listen to XM/Sirius radio so there’s little interruption but for some reason I was on regular radio programming. A minister came on and was asking for attendance for the upcoming Sunday.

Generally I tune ads out, but there was just something about his voice. Maybe that’s one of the things that lead him to his calling – a great voice that makes people sit up and notice. His topic of discussion was going to be “Let Gratitude Change Your Attitude” . . . and it really stuck a chord in me.

I’ve said before how we can control our feelings and decide how we are going to let things that happen to us shape us. I know you’ve heard it all before whether it be from your well meaning friends and family, or a therapist or divorce recovery group. The message is always the same – you can get through this, you will feel better, you will recover.

But dang if it isn’t really hard to do, right??

So when I heard this, it was like . . . WOW! How five words can have such a profound impact? Amazing. I started thinking of all the things I have to be grateful for, and there are a lot. You know what starts to happen when you let gratitude change your attitude? You start smiling, your heart warms and your perspective does change. You look at things a bit differently. It’s slow at first, it’s SO easy to think of all the negatives and wallow in the gloom and doom.

I know, I’ve done it!

And I know that I will continue to do it at times BUT –

Maybe if everyday we look around us at the things we have to be grateful for, it could be the beginning of something really wonderful. It just might, over time – change that attitude into a smile!

Dating after Divorce Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

Men Are Like . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

I copied this from the internet the other day. It made me want to laugh uncontrollably. There IS some humor out there when speaking about on of our most talked about subjects. While I’m not sure the photos are going to come through (I’m still technologically challenged!) the gist of the message certainly does!! Read and laugh, we all need a bit of humor at times!!

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free. Here’s an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an “entire pig” just to get a “little sausage”.

1. Men are like Laxatives.
They irritate the crap out of you.
2Men are like Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
3.Men are like Weather.
Nothing can be done to change them.
4.Men are like Blenders.
You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
5.Men are like Chocolate Bars…
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6.Men are like Commercials. You can’t believe a word they say.
7.Â Men are like Department Stores…Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8.Men are like. Government Bonds….
They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like … Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10.Men are like Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11.Men are like Snowstorms.
You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get
or how long it will last.
12! .Men are like Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13.Men are like Parking Spots.
All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

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Real life rom com

by suddenlysinglewomen

Like Beyonce’s song, here’s one for “All The Single Ladies”!! We do need to remember that we are valuable and we are WORTH IT!!

chapterphoenix's Blog

Romance sometime makes suckers and chumps out of us women. However, since splitting from Deluded Dick, aka the ex, I have begun to reconnect with the rom com/ chick flick. To be honest I was never one for romance and what I termed ‘girly shit’ which is probably why Deluded Dick got away with so much. Yes he’d make the occasional grand gesture but it was always undermined by his behaviour and his cheapness. While splashing the cash on booze, prostitutes, strippers, drugs and gadgetry he neglected to treat me to anything other than underwear: a gift from him to me that was really a gift for his dick. What a charmer. After years I pointed out his same old same old gift buying tactic and then began receiving… nothing. The most I got was the honour of selecting a Lovefilm DVD to watch with DD while he spent the…

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http://www.eharmony.com/blog/2014/06/03/absolutely-okay-say-hate-single/?lcid=95156&laid=Links#.U5chOBYQ5Qo

Loving Being Single??

by suddenlysinglewomen

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. The truth is – I AM SINGLE!!! OK, got that out there. Sometimes I just have to come to grips with the fact that I am “single” through little fault of my own. I have to adjust – EVERYTHING!

I don’t adjust well. I like routine, I like pattern, I like boundaries. I am a better person when I have a plan and no what tomorrow is “supposed” to bring. When life throws me a loop, I get knocked over. I don’t like it, I don’t appreciate it and I’m certainly not enjoying it.

Having no one to fight over the remote with can be a positive. It’s nice to know if I get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom that the lid to the toilet will be down – just the way I left it the last time I used it. I enjoy squeezing my toothpaste from the bottom and not having to push out the dents in the “middle of the tube” from the former spouse’s thumb!

When I come downstairs in the morning, the house is just the same as the way I left it when I went to bed – NICE! So OK, I know there are some positives. But if truth be told – I hate being single. I hate going to events alone. When I walk in I feel as if I have a big sign around my neck that says: CAN’T GET A DATE!!!!! And that would be true.

I really don’t enjoy being the only one responsible for helping myself through a crisis. Car breaks down?? Yup – I have to figure out what to do and how to do it without any help. How do I know if the mechanic is being honest or not? I don’t. I sometimes think I could have a heart attack and fall down the stairs and not have anyone miss me, or wonder why they hadn’t heard from me for at least several days. I’m pretty sure by then I’d be d-e-a-d dead.

The link below will give you some thoughts to ponder in your own personal situation. For myself? I’m giving myself permission to hate being single, to not like being alone most nights. I wish I shared my life with someone special, and maybe someday I will. Till then the truth is – I AM SINGLE and I’m going to need to learn to trust the auto mechanic . . .

Dating after Divorce Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

It Ain’t Rocket Science – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

You’ve heard the ol’ saying that goes something along the lines of: “Don’t talk the talk if you can’t walk the walk”.

I thought of that when I saw this photo and it’s accompanying sentiment.

How many times have you been frustrated by friends, family or even new acquaintances who just “don’t get it”?

Women going through, or coming out the other side of divorce have a hard time when it comes to having people understand what it’s like. If you haven’t been there, you really can’t understand. You may think you can imagine the horror of it all, but please don’t try to act like you get it. You don’t.

I know you can perceive the pain and the injustice, and we really do appreciate you caring and wanting to help in any way you can. I know when I’ve learned of a tragedy that someone close to me has experienced, I want to be there for them and ease that pain any way that I can. I will never, however, claim to know what they’re going through or how they feel unless I’ve shared that same tragedy.

This harkens back to one of my earliest blogs when I went off about well intentioned people who tell you that you’ve just got to “Move On”! Really? Move on how? Even the GPS in my car knows there’s more than one way to get between point A and point B and the time needed and miles driven are different in every scenario. There are never ending roadblocks on your trip toward recovery that even the GPS can’t get you around.

During your journey when you encounter these people who are trying to help but haven’t seen your path, or walked a mile in your shoes try to be kind back and just thank them. They’ll feel better, surprisingly you’ll feel better for understanding they’re really trying to help. But know deep down that there’s really only one person who understands your path – and that’s you.

Pay Attention to “The Girls!”

by suddenlysinglewomen

Such important things to remember in taking care of ourselves!!

Monaresa smiles

In 1995, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I remember this clearly. It was shortly after the birth of my first son.

It was a fluke the way she was diagnosed, really. Some unexpected bleeding in the middle of the night led to a trip to the emergency room, where the cancer was discovered. One of her tumors had ruptured, which led to the bleeding.

When you hear the word “cancer” in relation to a family member or yourself, it prompts a whole array of emotions that you may have never experienced before. But the one emotion I remember my whole family clearly feeling during that time was fear. No matter what doctors say the prognosis may be, with cancer, you never know.

After months of chemo and months of uncertainty; and another scare a few years later with a secondary uterine cancer, my mother was declared to be…

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