suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

7.  Don’t be afraid to make more time for the right relationships.

7.  Don’t be afraid to make more time for the right relationships.

“Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them.  You have to figure out who’s worth your attention and who’s just taking advantage of you.  If your time and energy is misspent on the wrong relationships, or on too many activities that force you to neglect your good relationships, you can end up in a tedious cycle of fleeting friendships, superficial romances that are as thrilling as they are meaningless, and a general sense of wondering why you always seem to be chasing affection.

Choose yourself rather than settle for those who treat you as ordinary.  YOU certainly aren’t.  Never settle for being someone’s option when you have the potential to be someone’s priority.  You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with.  If you hang with the wrong people too often, they will bring you down.  But if you hang with the right people, they will help you grow into your best self.  These people will love all the things about you that others are intimidated by.”

 

Flashback – it’s like my Mother is sitting here as I write this and I’m typing quickly to get all her words in.

Doesn’t this sound like a lecture/piece of advice we all received in Middle School (OK, it was called Junior High when I was there!) from our parents??

If we’d listened, would we be happier today?  Well, it’s never too late because re-reading that which I’ve shared above is something you cannot do too few times.

I’ve joked that in the past years, I’ve whittled down my Christmas card list to the real people, the true friends.  But that’s just a simple way of saying I know who the best people in my life are now.  And this means either gender in my life, friends and/or family.

Do not accept bad treatment from anyone, do not sink to their level and allow them to bring you down.

You’re worth so much more.

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6.  Don’t be afraid to give yourself enough mental and emotional space.

6.  Don’t be afraid to give yourself enough mental and emotional space.

“If you think and you think and you think, you will think yourself right out of happiness a thousand times over, and never once into it.  Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace and potential.  Stop over-thinking everything.  Life is just too short.

Your biggest limitations are the ones you make up in your mind.  The biggest causes of your unhappiness are the false beliefs you refuse to let go of.  You are capable of far more than you are often thinking, imagining, doing or being.  But in time you will gradually become what you habitually contemplate, so clear your mind and let your hopes, not your fears, shape your future.  How?  Meditate.  Run.  Breathe.  Write in your journal.  Find the space…. to set your mind free.”

 

You’re welcome.  I jus saved you thousands of dollars in therapists charges.  : -)   Mic Drop!

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5.  Don’t be afraid to say “no” to unnecessary obligations.

5.  Don’t be afraid to say “no” to unnecessary obligations.

“In a world with so much noise and clutter, you must make room for what matters.  That means pruning nonessential commitments and eliminating as many distractions as you possibly can.  No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets.

The mark of a successful and peaceful person is the ability to set aside the “somewhat important” things in order to accomplish the vital ones first.  When you’re crystal clear about your priorities, you can painlessly arrange them in the right order and discard the activities and commitments that do not support the ones at the top of your list.”

 

Hallelujah!  Priorities, right?  I think this one might also come along with age, and I mean that in a positive way.

When we’re younger, say . . . post college, and into that career rise and family growth mode, we take on the world.  We figure out a way to handle it, hopefully, with some balance if we’re lucky.  What we wear, who we associate with, how our children perform in school, how our passion to save the world (or at least make it a better place) ignites us with a call to action.

As we get older, and more accepting of our limitations, we can come to peace (grips) with our inability (or desire) to be all things to all people.  We understand that it’s OK to focus on our own needs.

Ditch the noise and the clutter, make room for what matters – taking care of #1 as my Dad used to say.

Because no one else will.

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4.  Don’t be afraid to craft a daily routine that’s right for YOU.

4.  Don’t be afraid to craft a daily routine that’s right for YOU.

“If your life is going to mean anything, you have to live it yourself.  You have to choose the path that feels right to YOU, not the one that simply looks right to everyone else.  It’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb, than the top of the one you don’t.  So don’t wait until you’re halfway up the wrong ladder to listen to your intuition.  Every morning, ask yourself what is truly important, and then find the courage, wisdom and willpower to build your day around your answer.

In the end, it’s not what you say, but how you spend your time that counts.  If you want to do something, you’ll find a way… if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the Rituals chapter of our New York Times bestseller, Getting Back to Happy: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Reality, and Turn Your Trials into Triumphs.)

 

Routine is really good for me.  My Father was a United States Army Colonel, he was a structured man.  Our home was structured, but it was comforting.  Later in life when I decided to become a Special Education teacher, I was reminded how valuable structure is to those who are physically and intellectually challenged.  You had to keep chaos away from their daily routine.

Choosing a daily path that is right for you is so important in attaining and keeping happiness in your life.

Pay attention to that last sentence above.  “If you want to do something, you’ll find a way . . . if you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”

No excuses!!  Go find your path, live your life, and watch how all around you fall into place.

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