suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

1.  Don’t be afraid to accept and appreciate life’s changes.

1.  Don’t be afraid to accept and appreciate life’s changes.

“You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago.  You’re always growing.  Experiences don’t stop.  That’s life.

Sometimes there are things in our lives that aren’t meant to stay.  Sometimes the changes we don’t want are the changes we need to grow.  Let this sink in.  Growth and change may be painful sometimes, but nothing in life is as painful as staying stuck where you don’t belong.

The bottom line is that you can’t reach for anything new if you’re holding on to yesterday.  You may think holding on makes you strong, but oftentimes it’s letting go and starting anew that truly builds your inner strength.”

 

Seems appropriate for today, Valentine’s Day!  I relegated this “special day” to the rear view years ago, here’s why.  When in college, I got engaged on Valentine’s Day.  I also had a puppy that I named Valentine because of it.  After 9 months, he changed his mind and picked going to Law School over marrying me.  Heartbreaking at the time, but you move on.  Life’s changes.

Then along came serious love interest #2.  Our first date was on Valentine’s Day.  Not sure he realized it, but it certainly made the “remembering” our first date details much easier through the years.  Yes – we married but after 30 years, he called it quits.  Life’s changes.

It’d be very easy to feel sorry for myself, and I’m sure I did a bit after each failed relationship – BUT – looking back, those things are what made me the person I am today.  Strong, Independent and Happy – that’s a hard fought battle but you can get there.

So when it says to not be afraid of life’s changes, and to accept them and appreciate them – it’s a goal we can attain.   Accept change, embrace it, and know that you’re always growing.  2019 – the year of moving forward!

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Happy 7th Birthday?

Or is it 7th Anniversary?  Either way, I remembered today that 7 years ago on February 12, I wrote and posted my first “blog”.

Alot has happened in the past 7 years, some good, some bad – but all has made me the person who writes this to you all today.  I have grown.

Without you, my followers, I might not have made the progress that I’ve made, nor realized how happy I could become.  You are the wind beneath my wings, and I’m grateful for you all.

Thank you!

 

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Continuing On The “Moving Forward” Theme . . .

I’ve received many nice feedback comments on the New Year Resolve to be positive, and reminder to look forward.  Thank you.

Along with that theme, I share the below link of a few ideas for “de” cluttering.  After all, one of the best ways to move ahead, is to clean out and get rid of things that hold you back, or keep you mired in the past.

A year ago, I wrote about one of my big “clean out” projects.  I recycled or repurposed many things in my house including books to a lending library, my wedding dress to a group that makes burial gowns for babies who never leave the hospital, clothing-bags-scarves-shoes to Salvation Army & Dress For Success, blankets/towels and dog food to a shelter/rescue, etc.

It warmed the heart, and made my house more manageable.  Along those lines, I read this article below (as if you need a reason to de-clutter) about questions to ask yourself when deciding if you should hang onto something or not.  Hope it inspires you to “Move Forward” a little bit more.  : -)

https://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/organizing/organizing-more-rooms/questions-to-ask-before-decluttering?utm_source=emailshare&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-share-listicle&utm_content=20190123

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New Year’s Resolve?

So how are those New Year’s Resolutions coming along???  I tried a new approach this year.  I was away from home for New Year’s and I had a blast.

Normally I sit home and wonder why none of my gal pals, or married couple’s friends wanna go out and do anything to celebrate new beginnings.  They’re in bed by 9:00 . . .

Maybe I didn’t get enough of the Party Life done when I was young?

So this year an opportunity presented itself.  My college team was playing in the New Year’s Day Sugar Bowl in New Orleans.  I reached out to some fellow crazy football friends to see if they wanted to take a trip to NOLA for the game and, oh by the way, New Year’s Eve?

Bam!  They said yes.  We had a blast.  We brought in the New Year together, well . . . OK, a couple of them did retire early but some of us saw the “ball drop” in NYC and toasted the entry of 2019.  Win or lose for the football game, we were gonna bring in 2019 and look “forward” to new beginnings and a happy New Year.

As luck would have it, a miracle occurred and we did win the football game, but that was just the icing on the cake.  The best part was being together, and agreeing that the past is in the rear view, and the future is bright.

So my new approach that I alluded to above?  No New Year’s Resolutions, just a promise to myself that life is only as good as I make it myself.  Look forward, always.  The past is not your life sentence, the future is what you make it no matter the hand you were dealt!

This is going to be my year.

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Always Surprised – – –

Yup, it’s true.  Even today I’m always surprised when someone refers to me as “strong” – and it’s usually not a compliment.  Growing up I would’ve never considered myself strong.  I would’ve considered myself obedient and pliable.  What my Dad said was the gospel.  What my Dad told us to do, we did.

As I get older, I can now reflect back on how he also made me a confident individual.  I don’t want to use “self assured” because many times that’s seen as a bad thing, but I learned to trust myself and trust my instincts.

Then I hit college . . .  then I fell in love.  All that trust just flew out the window.  “Smitten does not equal Smart”!

I embodied the term “Pleaser”.  For thirty years I tried to trust, I tried to please.  I kept re-inventing myself to make those around me happy and proud of me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, because if I hadn’t had that experience, I would not have been able to come back to my roots and be the person I was meant to be.

Strong.

Several months ago, I accepted a dinner out with a couple who I adore, they are so cute and fun and “into” each other.  They had a single man friend that they wanted to introduce me to.  I was skeptical, I pretty much threw in the towel on “dating” in 2015, but hey – it was a Friday and it was Tex Mex.  Like . . . I’m gonna say no??

So I went.  Had fun with the friends, he showed up late.  Never a good beginning.  From the get-go, I could tell he was doing this as a favor, but wasn’t really interested.  That’s fine, I was there for the Tex Mex and my friends.  We talked sports, he and I went to the same University.  He knew I had season football tickets.  When a month later my friend asks me if it’s OK if she gives him my contact info, because he’s asked, I think . . . he didn’t appear to be really into the evening???

Then I remember . . . football tickets.  I tell her sure, go ahead and share the contact info, it’s probably about football tickets.  So he texts me soon after, wondering if I would be interested in . . . . . helping him get football tickets for a particular game.  No problem I say.  And I do.  I’m a pleaser.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, that friend had a birthday party and she seated the “single man” between me and another of our single GF’s.   That was fine, I think he’s a nice guy, just not interested in me.  You know what?  That’s OK with me too.  When you throw in the towel as I have done, on finding someone special, it really does take all the pressure off.  So my single gal pal and I passed the evening together, having a pleasant dinner with him in between us.  At one point in the conversation, he mentions the dinner of Tex Mex where we had met, and how he knew at that point that I was a “strong” female.  Believe me, if he thought that was going to upset me, he would be wrong.

He said it as if it was a bad thing, not to be insulting, but to be enlightening just in case I might be wondering why he’d never asked me out.  NAW!!  Just reconfirmed that some men think being strong and female is threatening, and reconfirmed that I’m really VERY OK with that.

So when I saw this today, I had to share,  Pretty sure my Dad would be proud!

 

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A Great TV Quote – – –

As we begin the New Year, I share with you this statement that was part of a regular TV show series that I watch.  The character was trying hard to find her “identity” and her “purpose”.  Of course, she found it, it is imaginary and TV after all, but still . . . I loved it.  I had to replay several times to get it all, I changed the verb tense a bit but – I wanted to share with you all!!

“We are born with innocence, and as we grow, we are cursed with a question.  Why, why are we here?  Is it all just chaos, or do we have a purpose?  If you are one of the lucky ones to find an answer to that question, the curse can be lifted and replaced with the grace of certainty.”

At this age, I’m pretty sure there is no innocence left in my life.  No naivety, and sometimes a very little trust is left within me.   I do feel like I have found, and acknowledge my purpose on this earth.  So in this new year, I live with certainty of purpose.  I promise to smile more, than I don’t.  I promise to be happy more, than I’m not.  I promise to give more, than I receive.  And I promise to be thankful for every single day of 2019!

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A Holiday Message To All – – –

As we enter this “pre” weekend to all the holidaze and chaos, just wanted to share again this simple tree with a few kind suggestions to make your season brighter.

When we are kind to others, it actually fills our hearts and spirits ten-fold.

Be happy with yourself this coming week, and carry that feeling into the New Year of 2019.

Wishing all my followers and their family and friends a joyous and festive holiday.

No matter what you celebrate, do it with love in your heart, and hope for your future.

And always remember, that I appreciate you all, every day of my life.  Blessings.

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Happy Thanksgiving Weekend!

 

I know this is a bit late, but I was otherwise occupied with family and football!!

How was your Thanksgiving?  Mine consisted of five adults and eight kids, we were outnumbered but had fun!

My football team won, so off to the playoffs next weekend.

My house lights are up and officially the timers are “plugged in”!  Getting my tree up this coming week, and the house will be festive and ready for friends and family.  (Note to self:  remember no breakable ornaments within three feet up from the floor – wagging dog tails, etc . . . . .)

May the beginning (the real beginning, not what Home Depot, Walmart and Target say with displays going up pre Halloween) of your holiday season be filled with much joy, happiness, friends and family, furry friends and festive gatherings never forgetting the “reason for the season”.

You’ll hear from me less in the next month (you’re not smiling are you??) as I plan to devote my energy to my family and friends, but never fear – I will be back!   All my best –

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How Timely . . .

Rec’d this the other day from CS and it couldn’t have come at a more opportune time.  Having now survived the “Mid Term” elections otherwise known as “Get Your Crazies On”, I think we can all agree that sometimes we just need to step away from the “instant” of social media.

Enough already!  What happened to civility, being nice to people even if you don’t agree with their opinions or politics?  And yes, before you say it, it DOES start from the top down.  BIG SIGH!!

Politics aside, this article just make sense.  Hope you agree.

https://www.thezoereport.com/p/how-to-be-happier-in-life-not-just-on-instagram-13078064

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Lessons To Live By – – –

Yes, lessons to live by are sometimes things I still struggle to add/change in my life.  I’m a pleaser, and I’ve been told I’m a really nice person.  However, sometimes my feelings get really hurt and I just suck it up and try to keep moving forward.

Lately I’ve started re-evaluating how I handle the hurts when they’re thrown my way.  I’m starting to move away from negative and hurtful people, even if we have been friends for MANY years.  I’m not being swallowed into the vortex of all the black holes of hurtful things.

Most importantly, I’m trying to be really positive about myself, my actions and my feelings.  Walking away is really hard, but it really necessary for my well being.  It’s time to please myself for a change.  It’s time to be really nice to myself, ‘cuz I’m worth it and I’ve earned it after all these years.

Embrace your life, and yourself!  Hugs!!

 

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