suddenlysinglewomen

Surviving the unwanted divorce

Building From The Top Down?

Won’t work.  You don’t build anything from the top “down”.  Picture if you will, a house being built.  If you tried to start with the roof, what would hold it up?  Where’s the strong foundation to support it?

One brick at a time, brick by brick – sounds like the lyrics to a country western song, although that certainly dates me as now they just refer to it as “country”!

When people tell you that after your divorce you just try to take it one day at a tie, putting one foot in front of the other.  You’re rebuilding your life, whether you are divorced or widowed, it’s the same.  What you had – is gone.  Poof!

The life you had, even if you felt you had worked your way up to the “top”, is non existent.  You cannot rebuild it from the top down.  You’re going to have to start over whether you want to or not.  Finances may not be the same, certainly family and friends are not going to be the same.  Your purpose in life has suddenly altered and you are starting over.  You’re foundation has shifted as it does in an earthquake – a good synonym for life after divorce, an earthquake hit you and everything has crumbled and fallen down.

So you get yourself up, dust yourself off and as Frank Sinatra once said, “Get back in the race”.

One brick at a time . . . brick by brick . . . one foot in front of the other . . . one day at a time.

 

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Happy Summer – Enjoy!

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Je Ne Sais Quoi –

“Je ne sais quoi”

Je ne sais quoi is French for “I know not what.” In English, we use it to refer to an intangible, distinctive quality, especially of a person, that can’t be put in words—e.g., “I don’t know what makes him so charming. He just has a certain je ne sais quoi.” The phrase is often italicized and occasionally put in quotation marks.

The phrase has been in use in English for at least three centuries. In some old books, it is treated as a broader term representing various philosophical and aesthetic concepts not easily put in words, but by the 19th century je ne sais quoi was widely used the way it is today.

My Father used to use that phrase all the time.  I never quite knew what he meant, but it sounded so cool.  If it were today, and my Father was still alive and using the phrase I could simply go to Google and figure out what the heck he was trying to tell me.  After all these years, I finally did!  (look it up that is)  Therefore, I copied it above and have to admit, it still kinda throws me off.

If I’m going to go with “I know not what”, then I could agree that when it comes to looking into the future and trying to see where I’m headed (or is it heading?), nothing could be more perfect as a description of my feelings.  “I know not what”!

Years ago I would have thought that by my age, life as I had planned it, imagined it, would be so simple.  Loving husband, retirement adventures, mortgages paid off, kids safely launched, grandkids to baby sit, sunsets to enjoy – you get the drift.  This would be the year of my 40th wedding anniversary.

Didn’t quite work out that way.  Now when I look into the future, I somehow keep hearing my Father say, “Je ne sais quoi” and I’m starting to get the picture.

 

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Suddenly Solo?

This statistic is an eye opener!  I just read where there are over 19 million singles over the age of 55!

Wow, that’s a whole lot of people sitting on a sofa eating alone while watching TV on any given night.

No wonder those administrators of Social Security are so worried, they should be!  We are a staggering number.

I can also see why all those dating websites continue to thrive, and give us (false) hope that there really IS someone out there that we can grow old with together.

The breakdown that I would find even more telling would be this – of those 19 million singles over the age of 55, what are the percentages:

  1.  How many are single and have never been married?
  2. How many are single because of divorce?
  3. How many are single because they lost a spouse due to death?

You wonder how many are single because they want to be, and of that number, how many because they never trusted marriage and are happy in their “solo-ness”?  How many are single because they’re divorced and their heart was broken and will never trust again.  Of that number, how many are female, how many are male?

I would love to see a better breakdown, but until then, I remain curious, and curiously alone . . . uh, I mean single.

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Book Launch Party

For those of you not on Facebook, but following me and interested in the new book – FUN NEWS!!

There will be a book launch party on Monday, June 13th, 5:00-7:00 – come and go, at Skinny Rita’s Cantina, 607 West Gray – Houston, TX.   There will be a cash bar (their margaritas are only 120 calories – WHOOP!) and some lite bites passed around.  When you enter the front door, turn right.  We’ll be in the downstairs bar area!  (then stay for dinner, food is yummy!)

There will be some books there for purchase, but mostly, I just want to celebrate this accomplishment with my supporters!!  You all are the wind beneath my wings!

Hope to see you all there.   (And hoping the rain will finally be done with Houston)

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Announcing the Availability of My New Book!!

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