Becoming the best version of yourself

Do You Now Have To Get Everything In Writing?

I’m glad that “back in the day”, when I got married, I didn’t even know what a “pre-nup” was.  It would have been just one more thing to worry about.  These days, especially in the case of second marriages between people of a certain “advanced” age – it’s the norm.  So what would you do if your “intended” suddenly popped up with the demand to sign a pre-nup just mere days before the wedding?  I’m still trying to figure out how a “pre-nup” doesn’t imply that your marriage is not going to work out!

I thought this article was interesting because evidently this woman went to court and got the pre-nup thrown out.  My guess is there will be appeals and she’ll be tied up in court for a very long time.  We talk about the family law courts and divorce attorneys in my DRG (Divorce Recovery Group) quite a lot and from what I hear, no one seems to feel there is justice or impartiality any more.  Attorneys fees are way out of kilter and judges seem to be able to overlook certain aspects of the law without much challenge.  You can be right, but lack the funds to hire someone to make it happen.

Most marriages are not lasting, and pre-nups are not ironclad.   What to do, you wonder?  After reading this article I glanced at the posting comments and am sad to report that most seemed to question why anyone would even get married anymore.  Is that what we’ve come to?  Give it a read and let me know what you think.

Leave a comment »

“The Great Debaters” –

This is a wonderful movie if you haven’t seen it.  I won’t go into details, but suffice to say that David beats Goliath once again.  It’s a feel good movie and one that both sexes seem to enjoy.  In one scene, the actor Forest Whitaker has a line – “We do what we have to do, in order to do what we want to do”.

“What we have to do . . .”

I grew up in a fairly strict household in the 50’s and 60’s.  My Dad was ex Army, to say he was regimented w0uld be an understatement.  We knew always what we HAD to do.  If we forgot, we were reminded.  We did not color outside the lines.  We did not think outside the box.  There were rules and there were boundaries and if you messed up, there were consequences.  There was very little doing “What we want to do”.

These days the rules are so much different.  There’s more freedom, there’s less structure, and there sure as heck is alot less consequence.  So what are we showing our children when there are no consequences for bad behavior?  Bad precedent to set I would imagine.

Many times I have had to sit back and bite my tongue when I see my ex exhibiting his usual inconsiderate behavior.  Even when it affects our children, I hold most of my thoughts to myself because what good will it do to share them out loud?  The kids don’t want to hear them.  Do you think they notice?  Hard to tell.

So it appears I’m still stuck in the “Do what you have to do” rut.  Apparently I have to hold my tongue to keep the peace and not denigrate their father.  Because to do what I WANT to do wouldn’t change his behavior anyway . . .

Leave a comment »