suddenlysinglewomen

Surviving the unwanted divorce

Trust?

Trust never used to be an issue for me.  I grew up in an honest family, I had honest friends, I was an honest person myself.  I was insulated – that’s for sure.  The older I get the more I learn that there are many untrustworthy people out there.

They think nothing of a little white lie, and that’s only the beginning.  What about “lying by omission”?  Can you trust a person who chooses not to tell you something?  That’s a gray area for most.  When my ex was living “outside the bonds of marriage”, I had friends that knew what was going on.  They chose not to tell me.  That’s a lie by omission.  Acting like everything was great, life was good, all were happy.  All were NOT happy.

So when it comes time to think about putting yourself out there again, once you’re past the initial stages of healing from your divorce, how easy do you think it’ll be for you to trust once again?  I trusted too quickly and had my heart stepped all over by a man I cared about.  Each time that happens I will be more inclined to not trust, to protect myself – but that’s just me.

Below is one of many articles about dating and trusting once again.  Maybe it will provoke some thoughts that you need to consider because none of us ever again want to go through what we’ve already been through.  As always I welcome your thoughts!

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/learning-how-to-trust-again/#.U3EnLtZlyEU.email%5B/

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To “Lift” Or Not To “Lift”?

As we age, our skin shows it.    This is NOT a gender issue, but a human issue.  The skin just “ain’t what it used to be”!  The elasticity is gone, collagen isn’t produced like before and things sag.  UGH!!

If you add on top of that the society we live in is constantly telling us we should be thin, and wrinkle free – no matter our age, you want to hide indoors.

Then if heap on top of that the dating game where (sorry dudes) the men are looking at and for those younger women to squire around, it’s no wonder we look tired and old.   We ARE tired and old, LOL!!  OK – so maybe age is a matter of mind but your mirror is not your friend.

Entering my 50’s I remember how clearly my “then” husband felt about plastic surgery.  He always said he would do it if it made him feel and look better.   For my 50th birthday I seriously considered that’s what I should do; I knew he looked at me as “aging” and needing some artificial help in looking better.

Instead he divorced me and just married a “younger” person – problem solved.

Now as I sit here at 61, and see all the plastic around me, it’s easy to wonder the “what if” I had done it at 50?  Or wonder about the “what if” I do it in my 60’s?  Whatever happens, it’s nice to  know you’re not alone in wondering if trying to seek a younger version of yourself – to match the younger self your mind tells you that you still are – is worth it or not.

No judgement from my corner either way, but I did enjoy reading this brief article about another’s feelings.  We’re not alone in at least “wondering”!

 

https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/my-aging-face-97643202288.html

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Is “One” The Loneliest Number?

http://houston.culturemap.com/news/restaurants-bars/09-15-14-dining-solo-at-houstons-top-restaurants-a-party-of-one-is-no-shame-in-this-foodie-city/?utm_source=dailydigest&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=cmpgn-2014-9-16

Sometimes the words to that old song ring true for all of us.  I’ve never been one very comfortable in going to a restaurant by myself to eat a meal.  I always felt that sitting at the bar alone was like hanging a sign around my neck that says “Can’t Get A Date”!!

You’ve heard of “dog shaming”?  Well this feels like “single woman shaming”.

However, after reading this article today, maybe I”ll try it again.  Maybe the times have become more relaxed?  Maybe since the divorce rate is SO high that there are SO many more of us that it’s become the new norm?

Guess I better charge up the Kindle and download some interesting stories and start being more brave.  After all, a girl’s gotta eat, right?  Or maybe I just need to let you all know where I’m eating and we can all fill that community table?  : -)

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What Starts Here, Changes The World . . .

http://alcalde.texasexes.org/2014/05/mcraven-to-grads-to-change-the-world-start-by-making-your-bed

Maybe by now most of you have seen, or at least heard about, the Graduation Commencement address given back in May to the Class of 2014 at the University of Texas by Admiral McRaven.  I’ve listened to it multiple times.  I love it.

There are times when just plain ol’ common sense can get you through your life’s challenges.  The things spoken about in the speech are simple thoughts that put into the right context can seem to be so brilliant.   If you’ve already seen it, heard it – and don’t won’t to do so again – then just delete this.

But each time I listen I feel as if I pick up on something new that I missed the previous time.  So if you’re like me, and can’t get enough of a good thing, then here it is.  Enjoy and as always . . . “Hook ‘Em Horns”!

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