Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. The truth is – I AM SINGLE!!! OK, got that out there. Sometimes I just have to come to grips with the fact that I am “single” through little fault of my own. I have to adjust – EVERYTHING!
I don’t adjust well. I like routine, I like pattern, I like boundaries. I am a better person when I have a plan and no what tomorrow is “supposed” to bring. When life throws me a loop, I get knocked over. I don’t like it, I don’t appreciate it and I’m certainly not enjoying it.
Having no one to fight over the remote with can be a positive. It’s nice to know if I get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom that the lid to the toilet will be down – just the way I left it the last time I used it. I enjoy squeezing my toothpaste from the bottom and not having to push out the dents in the “middle of the tube” from the former spouse’s thumb!
When I come downstairs in the morning, the house is just the same as the way I left it when I went to bed – NICE! So OK, I know there are some positives. But if truth be told – I hate being single. I hate going to events alone. When I walk in I feel as if I have a big sign around my neck that says: CAN’T GET A DATE!!!!! And that would be true.
I really don’t enjoy being the only one responsible for helping myself through a crisis. Car breaks down?? Yup – I have to figure out what to do and how to do it without any help. How do I know if the mechanic is being honest or not? I don’t. I sometimes think I could have a heart attack and fall down the stairs and not have anyone miss me, or wonder why they hadn’t heard from me for at least several days. I’m pretty sure by then I’d be d-e-a-d dead.
The link below will give you some thoughts to ponder in your own personal situation. For myself? I’m giving myself permission to hate being single, to not like being alone most nights. I wish I shared my life with someone special, and maybe someday I will. Till then the truth is – I AM SINGLE and I’m going to need to learn to trust the auto mechanic . . .