suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Have You Ever Felt Useless? (When Trying To Be Useful?)

Was just thinking last night about the number of people that I’ve tried to help out in the past. It’s funny, not everyone who asks your opinion, for your help, for your guidance – really wants it. Is it just small talk? Or do they just not think you’re really smart enough?

When you’ve answered questions, the same way, over and over, and they still don’t listen – why is that? Sometimes I do know the answer. If I don’t know an answer I’ll say so – nothing worse than someone needing to feel smart and making something up and answering incorrectly.

So is it that I don’t project intelligence?

Could it be instead that they just are very poor listeners?

I’m thinking that I’ll keep on trying to be helpful, I’ll keep on answering (when asked) and I will try to never feel useless. I really do like being useful, bet you do too!

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October 1st? How Did THAT Happen?

Wow – what a summer. Selling a house, packing up a house, remodeling a house, moving to that house after the “sell” falls through of the first house. Contractor issues, cancelled house guests, not cancelled house guests, all the grandkids – granted, not at the same time, and BAM! Fall?? I lost my summer.

I’ve had meltdowns, I’ve had my feelings hurt, I’ve had rants, I’ve had disappointments, I’ve had reminders that there are a whole lot of humans out there that would switch their troubles for my life, and I’ve had moments where people made me laugh at the absurdity of it all. (thank you GP! I needed that, you’re a gift that truly NEVER has an expiration date!!)

As I reflect on the summer gone and the fall arriving, I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes from Lucille Ball. I dug it up in my “saved” favorites to share with you all today, October 1st! Hope you love it as much as I do. Till the next time, here’s you homework assignment!!

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A Work In Progress?

As I continue on this journey of my “new and next chapter”, I really do keep trying to find ways to become more positive every day. And I thought daily workouts were exhausting?

This being “positive” thing is alot of work. Seriously.

The above quote from Mahatma Gandhi sounds like it should be easy to accomplish. But as the title says, I am a work in progress, a WIP!

So here’s my new “thing” to try. As I focus on what it takes to become a more positive person, and find my harmony in life, I’m going to try only certain times of the day to allow those “this sh*t is driving me crazy” thoughts to enter my head. I have picked the times I’m taking my dogs on their walks.

I can vent to the pups, they are very understanding, they are very empathetic and they think I hung the moon. In other words, I can do very little wrong in their eyes – except maybe NOT take them on dog walks.

I will allow myself to have those “what’s your problem universe? I’m NOT a bad person and I do NOT deserve this” thoughts only when I’m outside enjoying beautiful fall weather (here in the mountains) and strolls with 150 lbs of dogs. I’ll get it out of my system, I’ll scowl a few times, I’ll mentally skewer the contractors who do not show up when promised, I’ll stomp through the falling leaves, maybe even kick a few pine cones that the squirrels have decimated. I think I might be on to something.

Or, I could just take a trip to the Virgin Islands? Hmmmmmm?

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The Wisdom Of Youth:

My youngest son and his family recently visited to check on the “move” and the progress on the “remodel”. As with most people I’ve shared my experiences with, everyone is being faced with cancelled or delayed orders, workmen that don’t show up or whom have totally disappeared. Supply chains broken down, products not available, and on and on.

While relating to him all the woes of this particular move and project, he offered sage advice to his “Mom”. So when this popped up in my media library, it made me think of him and our “walks” along the river plus his advice to me that I have many things that ARE working, and that I should be thankful for.

I’m working on it. : -)

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As A Follow-Up : -)

They say timing is everything. So as a follow up from last post’s mini rant about things gifted that I have no space for, this came up on my feed on keeping things “Real Simple”. One of my fav magazines. Always find useful info and ideas from them. I had to laugh when I saw the title so soon on the heels of my mini rant.

So, because I’m trying to keep things positive this week:

https://www.realsimple.com/holidays-entertaining/gifts/hostess-gifts/best-hostess-gifts?did=655222-20210722&utm_campaign=rs-home_newsletter&utm_source=realsimple.com&utm_medium=email&utm_content=072221&cid=655222&mid=62814343605&slide=5f9e07e1-64cd-4f43-9db2-e43cbf42c534#5f9e07e1-64cd-4f43-9db2-e43cbf42c534

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Hostess Gifts?

OK – so we all know I’ve been “moving” and “packing/unpacking” and “decluttering”. WOW, I knew it would take a toll, but even I underestimated how this would go.

It’s the things not in our control that are the worst. (I have a really great new and modern looking counter top in the kitchen. It’s just too bad there’s a giant hole in it since I have no range/cooktop yet, but I digress)

The purpose of this post is to help you the next time you need to buy a hostess gift, or a birthday gift, or just any gift in general. Before you buy it, think . . . what will she/he/they do with this?

Note to the buying public, things to never give again because someday she/he/they is/are going to have to move.

She/he/they does/do not need another:

  1. Dishtowel, no matter how cute or appropriate the saying is.
  2. Coffee mug, see above.
  3. Scented candle.
  4. Scented soap.
  5. Wine stopper/coaster.
  6. Hand towel (what our mother’s used to call fingertip towels), same as dishtowel.
  7. Note pads.

She/he/they can use wine, 😉 and the occasional phone call to check in.

Like I said, moving takes a toll . . .

(Sincerest apologies to all people who in the past have gifted me with:

Dishtowels, coffee mugs, scented candles and soaps, wine stoppers/coasters, hand towels and note pads)

Wink wink!!

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“The Move”

John A Shedd said:

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for”.

You haven’t heard from me for a while. I’ve been moving several states “away”. After an entire lifetime of being a Texan, I headed to Colorado. Gonna try it out – I’ll get back to you in January, LOL!

I had a great cash offer on my house in Houston, long story but he backed out 30 minutes before the end of the option period, tried to lower his offer that day at noon. I was being packed up and the truck loaded me up the next day. Not alot of time to deal with the disappointment as the dogs and I jumped in the SUV and took off.Been sArrived to Colorado with a “remodel” project not complete.

Been staying with friends and have been here almost two weeks. Great friends are those that allow you to bunk in one of their guest bedrooms with your two German Shepherds in tow. I hope my first night in the house will be this Sunday night, but I’m afraid my July 4th weekend will be spent unpacking boxes. The closet system is not installed so my garage is full of wardrobe boxes as well as many other boxes of things.

I did downsize and clear out, LOTS. But some things you just have to keep in your universe. My first houseguests were to have arrived July 1, but I had to make the sad calls to cancel those. Would be nice to have beds set up for them don’cha think? Next set of guests due to arrive July 7, I’ll be better prepared tho’ as of today, my two new showers downstairs (replacing the tub showers of 1998) are not draining – AT ALL. Contractor fears one of the subs poured something they weren’t supposed to “down the drain” and it solidified, as in . . . an auger wouldn’t budge it.

OH JOY!! Plumbing not complete, electric not complete, AC is in so we’ll be cool as we wonder how to cook with no range/cook top – a victim of Covid/Pandemic/worker shortage/things made in China blah blah blah. Double oven back ordered – September but the microwave did come in . . . . . of course it’s still sitting in the garage in the box with the trim kit close at hand.

But hey, since I’ve “left my harbor” and have “put to sea” I’ll hope to stay in touch more frequently . . . as soon as my internet is hooked up. Just sayin’ . . .

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I love love love this!! And since today is my birthday, I promise to try this all day long!!

I love

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Commitment?

It’s been a long time since I committed “rant” to “paper”, LOL!! Have really tried to be positive, upbeat, uplifting – you get the drift. Want to be a point of light, want to make all my followers feel good. Heck, I want to feel good. : -)

But every once in a while, the evil takes over, and a good old fashioned rant can clear the air – maybe?

So let’s talk about commitment, and not the kind between a “couple”. My past has already shown that to be a losing effort for me.

I’m referring to friends, associates, groups, meetings, plans, etc.

If you say you’re going to do something, DUH, then do it . . .

If you say you’re going to show up for something, then show up . . .

If you say you’re going to attend, and then don’t (PLEASE) let the person who invited you know? I don’t understand. Sorry, just don’t. What happened to manners?

I know you think one person (you) backing out won’t make a difference, because you’re only considering yourself and how that might not mess up the “plan”. But if every person in the group only thinks that their one “cancellation” won’t impact, and 90% of the group decide not to come – well then YES, it does have an impact.

So, before you skewer me – yes I know life happens and sometimes your plan has to be altered through no fault of your own – but maybe it’s just my karma? Maybe I’m trying too hard to create events and opportunities to be together and I just need to give it a rest? Because if I look back at the last few weeks and the few events that were affected by cancellations and no shows, it could be a telling sign that people just don’t wanna hang with me?

But as soon as I quit inviting certain people to certain gatherings I’ll be accused of being a “mean girl” and leaving them out? Total “no win” situation. So the solution? Just quit trying? I don’t know, therefore: The Rant.

We’ve forgotten how to be polite. We’ve forgotten the manners we were brought up with. We’ve forgotten that our decisions do have an effect on others who made the plans and have to decide do we just start pulling chairs away from the table or cancel all together?

As I sit here and type this, I wonder whether or not I should really hit “publish” – and if I don’t you will have never seen this. And if I do, I’ve rolled the dice and decided to take a chance that just maybe you’ve experienced the same dilemma and I’m not alone in this? Because it’s beginning to feel a bit personal.

Or maybe it’s a bit like Sally Fields and her Oscar win, when from the podium she was saying, “You like me, you really like me!” and I just need a bit of empathy . . . (and kudos BTW to the people who DID show up, thank you!)

OK – Rant over. Next couple of weeks I’ll be back to the positive, upbeat and uplifting gal!!

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When It Bare’s Repeating:

Never be a prisoner of your past, it was just a lesson not a life sentence.

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