suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Lessons To Live By – – –

Yes, lessons to live by are sometimes things I still struggle to add/change in my life.  I’m a pleaser, and I’ve been told I’m a really nice person.  However, sometimes my feelings get really hurt and I just suck it up and try to keep moving forward.

Lately I’ve started re-evaluating how I handle the hurts when they’re thrown my way.  I’m starting to move away from negative and hurtful people, even if we have been friends for MANY years.  I’m not being swallowed into the vortex of all the black holes of hurtful things.

Most importantly, I’m trying to be really positive about myself, my actions and my feelings.  Walking away is really hard, but it really necessary for my well being.  It’s time to please myself for a change.  It’s time to be really nice to myself, ‘cuz I’m worth it and I’ve earned it after all these years.

Embrace your life, and yourself!  Hugs!!

 

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The Logic We Sometimes Forget – – –

Twelve things that seem to be so easy to list, yet sometimes so hard to accomplish or understand.  Some harder than others, but all doable!!  Thanks CS for reminding me of all of them!  My favorites are numbers 7 thru 10, which are yours?

 

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A Simple Message Today!

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When You’re “Inconvenient”

I’ve enjoyed this share by my cute red-headed dynamo gal pal because many times I’ve thought these things “out loud” to others to see if they agree?

One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with being a “single woman” of a certain age, is how many of my “couple friends” tend to “move on” once you become inconvenient.  I choose to hope they don’t do it on purpose, but you make every group an “odd” number when you’re single.  Tables are set in even numbers of chairs:  2, 4, 6, 8, 10!

So if you’re one of my married followers, remember your single gal pals out there.  They’d LOVE to join you for a movie or HH some evening!!

https://www.purewow.com/wellness/what-is-singlism?utm_medium=email&utm_source=national&utm_campaign=31356&utm_content=Health_and_Heart_editorial

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Strength – Find It In Yourself!

As always, I’m grateful to those strong women in MY life who see articles and send to me for the possibility of sharing with you all!!

Eleven years ago when I “emerged” from my divorce, I felt weak and battered emotionally.  I never thought I’d be strong then or now.  I was wrong.  My “inner” strong rose to the surface.

I hope you’ve found yours no matter whether you’re single or in a relationship.  Never EVER lose yourself.

Thanks Char!!

https://www.buggzodiac.com/strong-women-would-n/

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Being One of Those “Happy” People!

Thanks as always to my readers (and friends) for sharing with me great “thoughts” and reads for my blog.   This is one from sweet Carol!!  (You know who you are!!)  One of the “smiling’est” people I know, clearly she practices what she shares.  : -)

7 Habits You’ll Notice the Happiest People Practicing

(but Most of Us Rarely Do)

How many of us can say we live this way?

by

So much has been written about the burgeoning happiness movement. While combing through my own research and notes on what happy and successful people do, it struck me how intentional they are about choosing the right mindset to become happier and more optimistic.

While countless books have been written on happiness, I’m narrowing this article down to a workingtemplate for living life to the fullest.

Here are seven sure signs of the happiest people.

1. They choose to have healthy relationships.

I’ve learned to be picky over the years about whom I let into my inner circle of friends. Why? Because I believe close relationships are the key to sustaining happiness.

One profound longitudinal study proves this. For 80 years, researchers followed 268 men who entered Harvard in the late 1930s through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and old age.

Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the current director of the study, told the Harvard Gazette: “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health. Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

For participants, half of whom are still alive as of this writing, the only thing that really mattered was their relationships to other people.

2. Have a mindset of giving.

The late Jim Rohn said, “Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have.”​

In the book The Go-Giver, the main character, Joe, learns that changing his focus from getting to giving–putting others’ interests first and consistently adding value to their lives–ultimately leads to unexpected returns.

Now science confirms that giving makes us feel happy, is good for our health, and evokes gratitude. One Harvard Business School report even concluded that the emotional rewards are the greatestwhen our generosity is connected to others, like contributing to a cancer-stricken friend’s GoFundMe Campaign.

And before you restrict your giving to financial generosity to something or someone, consider the positive impact of giving of your time, mentoring others, supporting a cause, fighting injustice, and having a pay-it-forward mentality.

3. Make all your decisions in integrity.

Living, working, and leading in integrity means that we don’t question ourselves. When we listen to our hearts and do the right thing, life becomes simple, and we live in peace. Our actions are now open for everyone to see, and we don’t have to worry about hiding anything.

Billionaire Warren Buffett, chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, does not mince words when it comes to the importance of integrity. In choosing the people you hire, he said:

Somebody once said that in looking for people to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. And if you don’t have the first, the other two will kill you. You think about it; it’s true. If you hire somebody without [integrity], you really want them to be dumb and lazy.

4. Practice mindfulness.

Positive and happy people make the daily choice of surrendering their thoughts and feelings to the moment.

By being mindful and focusing your awareness in the here and now, by calmly acknowledging and accepting your feelings and thoughts, you attain great peace and free yourself from worry.

The great thing about mindfulness is that it blocks distractions that try to derail you from your dreams and goals.

5. Have good emotional boundaries.

Negativity is rampant. We can’t scroll Facebook updates before being hammered by someone’s political rant or hatred.

Happy people remain in the positive because they control what they let in — whether on social media or in people interactions.

So take the stand of a happy person: Protect yourself by limiting exposure to negative things and negative people; seek out friendships with people who will lift you up; and read stories about the good things happening around the world.

6. Exercise patience.

Patience is a virtue I wish more people practiced. It helps you relax and rethink your decisions.

In one 2012 study, researchers found that patient people made more progress toward their goals and were more satisfied when they achieved them (particularly if those goals were difficult) compared with less patient people.

Other research also found that patient people tend to experience less depression and negative emotions and can cope better with stressful situations. Additionally, they feel more gratitude, more connection to others, and experience a greater sense of abundance.

Finally, patience helps you see the innocence in other people during those really frustrating moments when you’d like fist to meet wall.

7. Upgrade your happiness to joy.

While we’re highlighting the habits of happy people here, you may be surprised to find that there’s a big difference between happiness and joy. Joy is more serene, stable, and deeper, whereas happiness can be fleeting, emotional, and temporary (like watching a movie you’ve been dying to see).

Being in a state of joy comes down to choice, and making that choice has long-term psychological benefits. Brain research by Wataru Sato of Kyoto University says that when you choose joyful behaviors (like gratitude, compassion, forgiveness, or kindness), you hold the key to rewiring a region of the brain called the precuneus.

By rewiring your brain with new habits that lead to joy, you’ll be able to control your sense of well-being and purpose. So if you’re caught in a vicious circle of nasty emotions like doubt, fear, and uncertainty, your best course of action is to replace those emotions by consciously and intentionally choosing joyful behaviors.

Use the tools of meditation, prayer, journaling, and mindfulness to aid you in the process. Check in with close friends and family after a few weeks and ask if they have noticed a difference in you. You’ll be surprised by what they’ll tell you.

Originally published at www.inc.com.

— Published on August 13, 2018

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Here’s To Being $$ Smart!

When I was married, I got 0% input on our financial decisions.  When I got divorced I was terrified I’d be able (read “smart enough”) to take care of decisions involving money and investments.

I found some amazing financial advisors, and this is one of their articles that they share with their clients.  Read and think about your situation – are you savvy with your financial future?

“When it comes to personal finance, women tend to downplay their abilities—and often delegate control. Yet even if they’re not ready, they’re likely to be primary financial decision makers at some point in their lives. Here’s a guide to getting more engaged.”

https://www.alliancebernstein.com/sites/library/women-building-wealth-five-things-you-need-to-know.htm?mid=bmi&seg=66

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Just Because – – –

Sometimes you need a little humor!!  Bye Bye Summer, getting ready for Fall!!

 

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Unfulfilled Promises?

I’ve been holding onto a program, passed out at church a while back, because of a part of the sermon that touched a chord.  I had to grab a pen and write down what was said because I knew I’d want to circle back around to it someday – and maybe even share it?

Whether you are particularly religious, or spiritual, or not – and I never mean to “preach” here – I thought this was worth a few thoughts.

The sermon was entitled “Commitment and Compassion” and I won’t get into the message per se or the scripture, but the following statement stuck with me.

“A divine delay is not the same as a cancelled promise.”

We’ve all had promises made to us, and subsequently broken.  Disappointing to say the least.  One of the biggest being broken promises made when two people exchange vows at their wedding.

Perhaps promises should not be made so easily, unless you’re sure you can deliver?

Anyway, in relation to this sermon, the message to drive home was that maybe the promises are not broken, or cancelled – maybe they’re just delayed a bit.  If the promise of “happily ever after” isn’t delivered by your spouse, does that necessarily mean you can’t be happy?

If I’m waiting for another person to gift me my “happily ever after”, boy am I gonna be in for a huge let down.  I think I’ll be working on my “happily ever after” myself, and if getting there is delayed a bit – so be it.

I promise not to let myself down.  : -)

 

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When The Travel Bug Hits – – –

– – – but you’re all by yourself?   Be brave!!  Earlier in the summer I accomplished my “50 state goal” of having traveled to all 50 states.  I know, it took me a while, but hey – it still feels great.

Next goal??  Well, guess it involves crossing large bodies of water!!  So when I saw this article from Travel and Leisure, I knew I had to read it, save it and most importantly “share it”!!  Who’s with me??

Enjoy and Dream!  : -)

https://www.travelandleisure.com/trip-ideas/solo-travel/best-european-cities-solo-travelers?utm_source=travelandleisure.com&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=social-button-sharing

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