suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

May 20

Are Your Expectations Setting You Up For Disappointment??

by suddenlysinglewomen

Holding the Right Expectations

Fulfillment doesn’t come from having all expectations met.

It comes from holding the right expectations—and managing ourselves well around the rest.

This is where maturity comes in.

Needs, wants, and desires represent different levels of expectation:

  • Needs are non-negotiable. If a core need goes unmet long enough, the relationship will eventually end.
  • Wants are important, but flexible. They may be evolved, met elsewhere, or accepted as unmet without destroying the relationship.
  • Desires are icing on the cake. If they’re not happening, we can stop looking for them and be genuinely okay.

Most people never make these distinctions.

They treat everything they want as a requirement.
And then wonder why they feel perpetually disappointed.

Are you as tired of being “disappointed” as I am?? But I cannot change people, I can only change myself. So my takeaway? Quit setting yourself up for disappointment. Do a reality check on your levels of expectations, and when people make promises? Well, up to you but I no longer really count on any promises.

If I tell someone I’m going to do something, or I’m going to show up somewhere, or I’m going to help them with something? I do. I make sure I don’t disappoint someone else in their expectations. And that’s the best I can do.

Women's Lives after Divorce

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May 10

Happy Mother’s Day

by suddenlysinglewomen

Happy Mother’s Day to all the human Moms, pet Moms, step Moms, and those who give a Mother’s Love to people every day whether they’re yours or not. I appreciate you.

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Apr 21

Wise Words For Those Looking To Make A Change!

by suddenlysinglewomen

“No longer are you going to allow the world to define who you are. Instead, you are going to be a force of influence, and as a result, have your environment be a product of you. “

Spring is springing and what a great time it is to look in the mirror and decide to be a force of nature!! No one can do it for you – are you in??

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Apr 7

Sharing A Seminar Experience

by suddenlysinglewomen

Happy April! How’s it going so far? First Quarter of the year has flown by. Warmer weather prevailing, flowers starting to pop. Hopefully past pollen season – sneeze sneeze.

I recently listened to a talk about relationships. There were five main points and I’ll try my best to summarize. The talk I listened to was 1/2 hour. I promise not to make you read for 1/2 hour!!

I think we all would like to have successful relationships. Friends, family, new acquaintances – those who you’ve known for a long time or those who are new to your circle. These five points seem to apply to all. So here goes my summary.

  1. You have to be present. And by your presence I don’t mean just hanging in the same room and scrolling through your messages on your phone. Really being present. I once heard a story regarding Jackie Kennedy. It was said that when she talked to you her eyes never left yours. She didn’t check out who else was in the room, she focused on you and made you feel special. We’ve lost that. So when you’re with someone, be present. They’ll appreciate it.
  2. Bring joy. Make someone enjoy being with you, around you, in your presence. Be positive, stop complaining. We all have our problems, we all have our doubts, and sometimes we rain on someone’s parade. Don’t. Be joyous and share what you’re happy about. People will want to be around you,
  3. Be with people who you align with. People who care about the same things as you do. People who speak the same truth and you say, “What, you too?” Sometimes not so easy. Today in our country with the devisive politics, sometimes it’s hard to find a common ground. But it’s totally possible, find your commonalities. Open your mind and your heart to the things you share.
  4. Honesty. How easy is that? Be real with yourself and those around you. Not real to the point where you say “wow, did you look in the mirror before you left the house?” Be honest with yourself first and foremost. Check your motives, check your dreams and desires. Do things for the right reason and be honest when you screw up. This one is so easy.
  5. Stand up for people. Stand up for yourself. Be an advocate for good. Be an advocate for justice, for what is right. Isn’t it nice when you know you have people on your side? Someone who will stand up for you, intercede for you when needed? Advocacy is broad but I’m sure you will be able to find someone or something to advocate for. You advocate for me just by opening my emails, and you bring my joy.

Thanks! Go out there and be the difference!!

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Mar 29

Welcome To Spring Time

by suddenlysinglewomen

Here in the mountains, Spring came early. Or is it better to say the normal Winter never really showed up? I tell all the disappointed skiers that it’s my fault. For the first time ever, I bought snow tires. And now I’m having to scramble to get new tires put on because you cannot run snow tires on warm asphalt or concrete. It ruins them.

And of course there’s the whole “horse thing”. My horse doesn’t respond well to frigid temps and elk eating his hay in his paddock. He frets, he stresses, he gets ulcers. So I moved him down to the Front Range for the winter. Alas – he could’ve stayed here. I would not have had to drive 2 1/2 hours each way just to go down to ride him . . . . and ruin the snow tires (see above!!)

Of course, with lots of time in the car, I am able to listen to my Audible, and try to get caught up on my “reading” by listening to the books in the library. I still have “unread” books on there that last 18+ hours, because I used to make the drive between Texas and Colorado twice a year. Now that I live in the mountains, it’s hard to get through those long ones so I listen to shorter ones. And last week I listened to one called Dusty Bibles.

I picked it because it was only a couple of hours long. To be honest, I do not have any recollection of buying that title or why I added it to my list to begin with. But it fit the required time I needed while in the car. So I listened. It’s an interactive read – at the end of every chapter it gives you an assignment of something to do. I was unable to do that since I was driving BUT I did have a “take away” from it that I really liked and wanted to share.

“Silence forces reflection. Reflection forces reckoning“

As the book title implies, if something is “dusty” in your life, maybe it’s time to clean it up and make a change. Pay attention. Attend to what needs attending to. On this weeks drive down the mountain, maybe I’ll have some silent time to reflect?

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Feb 11

Thank You For A Great January!!

by suddenlysinglewomen

It was a great January for me – sorry skiers, the lack of snow created less hazardous driving conditions for this Texas girl transplanted to Colorado. More sunny days and better conditions for my horse!! Though the dogs miss frolicking in the snow, they’ll get over it!!

I’ve wanted to share the above image for a while but it just seemed perfect today when I saw my January “stats” reports and my Visits on this site were up 53% and my Views were up 46%. You found me!!

If you have someone you think would enjoy this blog, and I promise as you’ve seen, I don’t inundate your inbox, please share the SuddenlySingleWomen.wordpress.com site and have them hit the “follow” button!!

We’re all in this together. Thank you again – you all are amazing. : -)

Being a Happy Woman Being The Best Version Of Yourself Divorce Recovery Finding Happiness as a Single Woman Fresh Starts Friendship Girlfriends Having a Happy Life Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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Dec 13

It’s Been A While But I’m Still Here!!

by suddenlysinglewomen

What a revelation. On some level, you know it, but do you practice it??

I have been and it’s so FREEING!! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being mean – I’m just taking better care of myself, my needs, my purpose, my life!!

During this season of Thanksgiving and Holidaze, I feel so ready to take it on. And 2026? Nothing but onward and upward.

From this past September through this coming January I will have made 9 roundtrips on flights; rarely are they on time, but I always get to where I’m going, and so far have made it back home. That’s saying something considering the Fall we had.

So “choose you”! Have a wonderful end of the year and a grand kickoff to the next one.

Holiday Hugs to you!!

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Jul 21

What A Week Last Week – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

Last week was full of such highs and lows, heart break and heart ache. Trying to process it all and it took a toll.

I lost one of my closest friends early in the week. It was a shocker. When her son called me I literally had to pull over on the side of the road. Her passing was peaceful, it was in her sleep. She’d lost her true love 2 years ago and I comforted myself by knowing they are now back together as it was meant to be. They had a wonderful relationship, a true love match. You know, the kind you grow up thinking you will have too?

And then we have the “Coldplay” video Jumbotron – yup – “oops”, we just “got caught” video. Maybe his wife thought they had a love match? Maybe she knew there was trouble in paradise, or maybe she was just as shocked and embarrassed as I was when that “oops” knocked me off my feet after my former spouse was discovered to have been unfaithful.

Two extreme ends of the marriage spectrum.

So what’s the high of the “highs and lows”? Knowing my friend is at peace in a better place and even though I’ll miss her terribly, she’s with her beloved. The other situation, I wish I could reach out to her and say “You will get through this, one day at a time, one foot in front of the other”.

I’ll pray for both families. They’ll both need them.

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Jun 10

Where Have I Been??

by suddenlysinglewomen

Do you have a bucket list??

I’m now working on my second one. The one I made in college, when I look back on it, was perfect for that age and that time in my life. There were five things on the list. A couple of them I accomplished fairly quickly. One of them, to have been in all 50 states, took me until 2018 – when I finally made it to Wisconsin!! I had a map of the US on my wall in the study, and one day I really looked at it and realized that there was only one state not colored in!! What was I waiting on??

I went to my favorite travel related internet site “Trip Advisor” and set out to plan a trip to Wisconsin. I felt really great when I could finally color in that map with the 50th and final state DONE!! I’m a visual learner, I have to see it to learn it – and that goal on a map spurred me on.

Then I figured I needed a more “adult” bucket list, and set out to create another one. The photo here was taken a week ago as I accomplished another goal – seeing the Grand Canyon. I took a 9 day road trip with a dear friend of 40 years, and we saw the “Mighty 5” National Parks in Utah, 3 state parks and the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. We hit 4 different states (maybe she should start a map?) and hiked and walked and took a ton of photos.

A sense of accomplishment- we all need one/them. Have you ever written down your goals? Do you have a bucket list? 2025 may be halfway gone, but it’s never too late to feel accomplishment.

Wishing everyone a “Grand Canyon” moment!

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Apr 5

I Love This – Hope You Do As Well – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

Helen Mirren once said: Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of a different perspective. Because if not, there’s absolutely no point.

Not every argument is worth your energy. Sometimes, no matter how clearly you express yourself, the other person isn’t listening to understand—they’re listening to react.

They’re stuck in their own perspective, unwilling to consider another viewpoint, and engaging with them only drains you.

There’s a difference between a healthy discussion and a pointless debate.

A conversation with someone who is open-minded, who values growth and understanding, can be enlightening—even if you don’t agree. But trying to reason with someone who refuses to see beyond their own beliefs? That’s like talking to a wall. No matter how much logic or truth you present, they will twist, deflect, or dismiss your words, not because you’re wrong, but because they’re unwilling to see another side.

Maturity isn’t about who wins an argument—it’s about knowing when an argument isn’t worth having. It’s realizing that your peace is more valuable than proving a point to someone who has already decided they won’t change their mind. Not every battle needs to be fought. Not every person deserves your explanation.

Sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is walk away—not because you have nothing to say, but because you recognize that some people aren’t ready to listen. And that’s not your burden to carry.

Women's Lives after Divorce

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