We deserve it. After a year of pandemic, political nastiness and more – I’m exhausted.
Besides that, as if that wasn’t enough, we all had additional things we had to cope with.
For me personally, it was a year trying to probate my Mom’s estate and having it drag on WAY longer than it should have. 14 months later, we’re still dealing with attorney issues – note to self – you WILL get through this.
I also made a huge personal decision to move in 2021. Not just changing houses, but changing states. I have (warning – double negative!) never not lived in this city and state. It’s 50% exciting and 50% terrifying. It felt like the right decision, but the closer it gets – I begin to have doubts. Or . . . am I just scared? People do it all the time . . .
Cleaning out has begun. Normally in a new year, I get organized, even more so than normal. I clean out, donate, repurpose, start again. This year will be much more “final”. When I think back over all the changes since my divorce, the really large ones have seemed to be forced upon me. I kept my chin up and powered through.
This time it feels different. This time it feels even more forced. This time it will be harder to keep my chin up because my beautiful “freedom and new beginnings” home that I built and moved into post divorce . . . will be gone. It was my statement of surviving being “suddenly single”. It was my statement of independence. It was my statement of being “out from under” the thumb of control. It was showing my children that “I got this”!
I know I’ll be OK. I know there are folks out there who are suffering from much bigger things than what I complain about, but it still is very real to me. It’s why you haven’t heard from me as consistently as you used to. Processing all of these changes during normal times is hard. 2020 has been a train wreck.
I will get through it, we all will get through it. I have my first “vaccine” next week, that’s a step in the right direction. While the clean out continues, my kids would like some of my things, that’s a happy thing – I can visit them, LOL! A bit of me will live on in their homes. I got to start my grand daughter in riding lessons – my passion passed to a new generation.
I’ll list the positives, and I’ll pray for all of us that 2021 becomes the year of kinder and gentler, of health and prosperity, of believing that all human and animal lives are important. Happy New Year to each of you.
suddenlysinglewomen 