suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Lessons To Live By – – –

Yes, lessons to live by are sometimes things I still struggle to add/change in my life.  I’m a pleaser, and I’ve been told I’m a really nice person.  However, sometimes my feelings get really hurt and I just suck it up and try to keep moving forward.

Lately I’ve started re-evaluating how I handle the hurts when they’re thrown my way.  I’m starting to move away from negative and hurtful people, even if we have been friends for MANY years.  I’m not being swallowed into the vortex of all the black holes of hurtful things.

Most importantly, I’m trying to be really positive about myself, my actions and my feelings.  Walking away is really hard, but it really necessary for my well being.  It’s time to please myself for a change.  It’s time to be really nice to myself, ‘cuz I’m worth it and I’ve earned it after all these years.

Embrace your life, and yourself!  Hugs!!

 

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A Simple Message Today!

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When You’re “Inconvenient”

I’ve enjoyed this share by my cute red-headed dynamo gal pal because many times I’ve thought these things “out loud” to others to see if they agree?

One of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with being a “single woman” of a certain age, is how many of my “couple friends” tend to “move on” once you become inconvenient.  I choose to hope they don’t do it on purpose, but you make every group an “odd” number when you’re single.  Tables are set in even numbers of chairs:  2, 4, 6, 8, 10!

So if you’re one of my married followers, remember your single gal pals out there.  They’d LOVE to join you for a movie or HH some evening!!

https://www.purewow.com/wellness/what-is-singlism?utm_medium=email&utm_source=national&utm_campaign=31356&utm_content=Health_and_Heart_editorial

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Strength – Find It In Yourself!

As always, I’m grateful to those strong women in MY life who see articles and send to me for the possibility of sharing with you all!!

Eleven years ago when I “emerged” from my divorce, I felt weak and battered emotionally.  I never thought I’d be strong then or now.  I was wrong.  My “inner” strong rose to the surface.

I hope you’ve found yours no matter whether you’re single or in a relationship.  Never EVER lose yourself.

Thanks Char!!

https://www.buggzodiac.com/strong-women-would-n/

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Just Because – – –

Sometimes you need a little humor!!  Bye Bye Summer, getting ready for Fall!!

 

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Unfulfilled Promises?

I’ve been holding onto a program, passed out at church a while back, because of a part of the sermon that touched a chord.  I had to grab a pen and write down what was said because I knew I’d want to circle back around to it someday – and maybe even share it?

Whether you are particularly religious, or spiritual, or not – and I never mean to “preach” here – I thought this was worth a few thoughts.

The sermon was entitled “Commitment and Compassion” and I won’t get into the message per se or the scripture, but the following statement stuck with me.

“A divine delay is not the same as a cancelled promise.”

We’ve all had promises made to us, and subsequently broken.  Disappointing to say the least.  One of the biggest being broken promises made when two people exchange vows at their wedding.

Perhaps promises should not be made so easily, unless you’re sure you can deliver?

Anyway, in relation to this sermon, the message to drive home was that maybe the promises are not broken, or cancelled – maybe they’re just delayed a bit.  If the promise of “happily ever after” isn’t delivered by your spouse, does that necessarily mean you can’t be happy?

If I’m waiting for another person to gift me my “happily ever after”, boy am I gonna be in for a huge let down.  I think I’ll be working on my “happily ever after” myself, and if getting there is delayed a bit – so be it.

I promise not to let myself down.  : -)

 

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Random Thoughts On A Day Of Travel – – –

It was my first birthday “divorced”, and I decided to take a trip so being “alone” wouldn’t feel so “alone” at home.  It was 2008, June, and hot in Texas so clearly I was headed north.

I’d seen advertisements for The Grand Hotel, on Mackinac Island, Michigan.  June was their Lilac Festival – It had been in a movie, it looked beautiful and perfect.  I made a reservation for a week.  After all, traveling eats up a whole day on the front end and the back end.

What brings me down this walk on memory lane you say?

When cleaning out the other day I came across a small (really small) journal of sorts that I’d only written in two pages.  One page had a list of yarn colors for a needlepoint pillow I had done, guessing that my reasoning was if I ever wanted to do a companion piece, I’d know which colors of wool yarn I’d used.  Pretty sure they don’t even make that yarn anymore, LOL!

The other page was full of short, random thoughts and questions that I’d obviously written on the first couple of days of that trip to Mackinac Island back in 2008.  Clearly journaling didn’t last long for me.  But reading through these thoughts, and wondering what on earth I must’ve been thinking was entertaining at this point of my life’s journey.

I’m a people person, I had hated being alone.  I tried to find someone to go on this adventure with me.  There was no one interested in going on the trip with me whether due to the time of the year, the cost, the distance . . . or maybe just me?

Some thoughts are clear, some I’m struggling to remember what I must’ve meant, but thought it would be interesting to share them with you.  My closest friends know I can be really random at times, this certainly helps their case.

Here goes:

“4:30 alarm

Detroit delay, canceled, lost luggage by Delta, everyone on the plane calling someone about their cancelation, no one for me to call (unhappy face drawn here)

Chamber of Commerce?  where do I stay, call Grand operator for help, Steven at the Grand, it’s an island, no more ferries even if I can get to Mackinac City

Darth Vader, slut, wind chill, bugs, driving rain and wind

Ladies from Alabama on a girls trip – I’m alone

Clothing memo – I’m in bright orange

Island?  What island, only clouds and fog

Have I mentioned it’s cold?

The dress code, everyone is a “couple”

Barbara from yesterday, from Alabama, just said hello, that’s nice – are things looking up?

Smile, the bridge, can see it now

Really rough waters, is this a lake?

Note to self, travel with a granola bar . . . and change, and diet coke – this is a Pepsi state (another unhappy face!)

Lone sailboat – just like me, on rough waters of life

I see the island.  I see the Grand – rises above all

Bathing suits – HA!

Ferry, cases of drinks, plants for landscape – an island after all

Carriages – not like my pampered pony!”

And then the writing ends.  I did make it to the island, and I did eventually fill up my days with activities and had no time to write any more random thoughts.  As I look back, I’m proud of being brave, of going it alone, and discovering that even though I prefer to have a pal – I don’t have to have one.

I sense from those notes the pain I was feeling at the time, but I don’t regret it because you have to go through the darkness to find the dawn, to find the light once again.

Here it is 10 years later, and I’m still taking trips alone because I’m no longer going to “wait”!  Because what it tomorrow does’t come?

 

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“Loving My Actual Life” – – –

A promise?  Or a book?

Both!

It started with reading that book:  “Loving My Actual Life” written and lived by Alexandra Kuykendall.  She called it an experiment in “relishing what’s right in front of me.”

I call it a challenge, the gauntlet has been thrown down and can I do it?

I think so.  I’ve been heading that direction for quite some time now.  Baby steps.  Or how’s about this one?  Rome was not built in a day!

The hardest part is beginning, trying to be more positive when everything around you is screaming “pity party”!!

When I got divorced at age 54, I had been well on my way to knowing exactly where I was headed in life.  Then the wall of divorce was built around me and tried as I might, I couldn’t seem to find the ladders to get over that wall.  I started chipping away at the bricks and mortar of that wall and piece by piece found that my “post divorce” actual life was something that I could love.

Easy?  No!  Possible?  Abso-freakin’lutely!

It starts with beginning to pay very close attention to what you really love to do, what brings you joy?  Do you have a goal, a dream, a passion?  I do, I have many.  Once I started to focus on my needs, vs everyone else’s the possibilities were endless.  Not easy, and there are roadblocks, but do-able.

Author of the book, Ms. Kuykendall says:

I know this idea of paying attention to what I love to do can feel like a luxury, but if I don’t pay attention to it I can quickly move from gratitude for this life to resentment of others’ needs.

There is something wired in each of us that wants to live on purpose for a purpose.  Some of our great cultural icons have spoken on passion.  From Nelson Mandela, who said, “there is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living,” to Steve Jobs:  “You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right.  If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out.”  It’s about something bigger than here and now.  It’s about possibilities.  And it’s about what we are each driven to work toward.”

What are your dreams and passions?  What are your opportunities?  Baby steps . . .

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Opportunities!

Advice columnist Ann Landers said:  “Opportunities are often disguised as hard work.  Most people fail to recognize them.”

Suffice to say not all people are on board with “hard work”.  There are those that expect things to be handed over to them without so much as lifting a finger to deserve it.  Irritating? Yup!  Universal?  Double Yup!

Author James MacDonald said:  “Those who study human experience agree almost universally that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you choose to respond.”

It gives me pause, and it should, because how I choose to respond to something could change my life and those around me for a very long time.  We’re not always dealt the hand that we want to play with – but unlike golf, there aren’t many “mulligans” in that life.

Your decisions and your attitudes play a huge part in taking advantage of opportunities.  And yes, it does indeed require hard work.  I leave you with a quote from another author, Charles Swindoll, on the power of being positive with your possibilities!

“Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude . . . I believe the single most important decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my attitude choice.  It’s more important than my past.  It’s more important than my education or my bankroll or my success or my failures.  My attitude choice is more important than my fame or my pain or what others think or say about me or my position or my circumstances.  Attitudes keep me going or cripple my progress.  Attitude alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope.  When my attitude is right, there is no barrier too high nor valley too deep nor dream too extreme nor challenge too great for me.”

What are your opportunities today?

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Short and Sweet – – –

A quick share today – a poem!  Author is unknown but I saw it and wanted to share with my blog family:

 

Of the themes that men have known

One supremely stands alone.

Love is the theme, Love is supreme.

Sweeter it grows, glory bestows.

Bright as the sun, ever it glows.

Love is the theme, The eternal theme.

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