suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

The Logic We Sometimes Forget – – –

Twelve things that seem to be so easy to list, yet sometimes so hard to accomplish or understand.  Some harder than others, but all doable!!  Thanks CS for reminding me of all of them!  My favorites are numbers 7 thru 10, which are yours?

 

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A Simple Message Today!

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Recent Dinner Discussion . . .

I recently attended a joint birthday dinner with friends.  We’re all divorced, and from youngest to oldest is about 10 years.  One of the things to come out of this dinner, other than the enjoyment of being with good friends, was just how content we all are beginning to be with our lives, jobs, families, friends and “single-ness”.  Yes – we do NOT need a man to “complete” us.  It worked in the movie Jerry Maquire, but that’s just Hollywood!

It reminded me of a passage in a book I read last summer that had struck me as where my life is currently.  It took me a while to find the passage, but below I’ve copied it to share with you all.  My greatest wish for my followers is to find your own version of contentment.

“Am I seeing the blessings of contentment in my life?”  

Contentment brings blessings.  Blessings such as joy in the present, and health and satisfaction in the simple things of life.  Contentment brings a settled sense of sufficiency and a peaceful pace that proves “more” is not the focus of your thinking.  You have life.  What a privilege to be alive in this world!  Contentment brings joy in the present.  

Contentment also builds our capacity to enjoy ordinary pleasures.  If you’re content, simple stuff makes you happy.  Like a nice walk.  Go for a walk today with a member of your family, and hold his or her hand.  Talk about important things.  Enjoy a simple pleasure; for example, a loving conversation or a good meal without racing to your next appointment.  Simple things:  a nice piece of music savored.  Cultivate your capacity to enjoy ordinary pleasures.”

Find contentment today, find your smile and be that point of light some are searching so hard to find!

 

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Thanks To FR For These Pearls!

50 Timeless Pieces Of Advice About Love & Relationships.

1.

Don’t stay with someone who antagonizes you or belittles you.

2.

If you feel lonely, you’re better off being alone.

3.

Know when to walk away.

4.

You can gauge a person’s love for you by how they treat you when they are upset with you.

5.

Love is a verb, not a noun.

6.

When a lightbulb goes out, you fix the lightbulb. You don’t get a new house.

7.

Don’t settle for someone who has zero regard for your feelings or wants just because you’ve been together a long time.

8.

Just because you love each other does not mean that you’re good together long-term.

9.

No relationship is perfect and there will be conflict. What matters is the desire to solve the problem.

10.

Always fight the problem, not the other person. If you keep this in mind when arguing, you’ll be able to actually resolve the issue than be mad at each other.

11.

Don’t look for a girl you want to treat like a princess, look for a girl you want to treat like a partner.

12.

Don’t disparage your SO behind their back.

13.

Confidence isn’t “I know she likes me”, confidence is “I’ll be okay whether she likes me or not.”

14.

There are a number of people you can be compatible with. No one is perfect. You have to work at love.

15.

You’re not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

16.

Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when you see food coming at a restaurant.

17.

The grass is not greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it.

18.

Stop trying to find the right person and start trying to BE the right person.

19.

The person who cares least in the relationship has the most control.

20.

Don’t listen to other people’s comments. Make your own relationship rules.

21.

It’s better to be happy than to be right.

22.

Always be the first to genuinely apologize after a fight.

23.

You can’t expect someone to love you when you can’t love yourself.

24.

Just because you liked the friend-version of someone doesn’t mean you’ll like the relationship-version of them.

25.

Before you move in with your partner, go on a road trip with them.

26.

Don’t be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. Vulnerability can bring you closer together and strengthen the two of you.

27.

When you and your SO are arguing, remember—it’s you and them VS the problem. Not you VS them.

28.

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

29.

Don’t fall in love with someone’s potential.

30.

It takes two happy individuals to make a happy relationship.

31.

If the world didn’t give each other second chances, we would all be single.

32.

Everyone is searching for the perfect person, but no one is trying to be the perfect person.

33.

If you love the memories more than the relationship, it’s time to move on.

34.

Just because a person is right or perfect for you, you may not be the right one for them.

35.

If it’s broken, fix it. If you’ve lost count of how many times it’s broken, or the cost of repair far outweighs the initial outlay, throw it away and move on.

36.

Out of all the things needed for a successful relationship, love barely makes the top 5. Honesty, loyalty, trust, and communication all have to be there.

37.

Always hold hands when talking about the hard stuff. It helps to keep the negative emotions in check & shows you care.

38.

Be the man or woman you would want your future or current child dating.

39.

Love is about appreciation, not possession.

40.

Don’t go to bed angry. Everything will be there and worse in the morning.

41.

Always seduce your lover, even if you are in a committed relationship. Otherwise, another person will.

42.

Talk to each other about problems, not friends and family.

43.

Keep no secrets, tell no lies.

44.

Sometimes you gotta wise up and let go. Yes, it hurts. But it’ll hurt more in the future.

45.

Relationships aren’t hard. If it is hard, you are probably with the wrong person.

46.

Love is not a feeling. Feelings fade, change, respond to situations and events. Love is a choice.

47.

If it feels wrong at the beginning, it probably won’t get better.

48.

If you’re keeping score you already lost.

49.

Love is an action, not a feeling. It’s learned and developed skill, not an experience. Not that the romantic feeling doesn’t exist or isn’t a wonderful part of the relationship, but it doesn’t make it last.

50.

The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook

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12) What Goes Around Come Around

Today is our last “thought” and if anything should strike terror into the hearts of the Mean Girls, this is it, LOL!!

Admittedly, when someone “does me wrong”, I do think this thought – alot!  How can you not?

Who knows if it actually happens; who knows if we’ll be around to see it or if we should WANT to see it?

But we’re human . . .

 

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11) You Only Fail If You Quit

I always admired the ad company who came up with the slogan for the Texas Lottery:  “You can’t win if you don’t buy!”

Pretty obvious if you think about it, right?

Well today’s thought is along those same lines of “reason”.

If you don’t at least try, you’ll certainly never succeed but even more than that, a sure fire way to fail is to quit.  Whether this is a goal at work, at home, in your personal life or your family life – you surely will never succeed if you quit.

Having watched all the latest movies reliving WWII it brings to mind:  “Failure Is Not An Option” – so let’s get stoked to succeed by not quitting!

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9) Smiles Are Contagious

‘Nuff said!

: -)

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8) Positive Thoughts Create Positive Things

Following on the heels of Happiness comes from within, is today’s thought tickle!

Isn’t this just one of those things that sounds so obvious that you wonder why it has to be pointed out?

Isn’t it sad that it has to be?

Especially over the past couple of years in our country, I’ve never seen such animosity and divide.  No one can agree on anything.  What ever happened to my Mother’s old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”?  These days if you’re a fly, you’re just gonna get squashed.

The power of positive thinking can create great change now when we need it most.  Where can it start?  With the person in the mirror!

Go download the John Lennon song “Imagine” and then . . . imagine being positive with everyone you encounter today.

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7) Happiness Is Found Within

I’ve known this one a long time – but it doesn’t make it any easier to accomplish.

I guess I was really a witness to this in my marriage.  When things start to go south, there’s alot of blame being hurled around.  One of those accusations???  “I’m not happy anymore, you don’t make me happy.”

You wanna scream – “It’s not my job!”    But it also isn’t that easy.

In any relationship, you certainly want to do nice things for the other person, to put a smile on their face, to show your love, that you care, that they are important to you.  However, what if that person is so miserable, and can’t see that it starts with him or her?  They may toss your kindness and love right back in your face.  How does that make you feel?

Like not trying anymore.  And so the relationship break down begins.

Don’t let their misery bring you down – let’s hope your happiness is infectious.  Let’s hope that some day they understand that “Happiness Is Found Within”!

 

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4) Things Always Get Better With Time

This is a bit like “It’s always darkest just before dawn!”

Or, “Time, it’s the great healer!”

Eventually . . .

Boy, when I first found out about my husband “living outside the bonds of marriage”, I was devastated.  The reactions from friends were as different as night and day.  The common thread seemed to be, if I elected to stay – things would get better with time.

It sure didn’t seem like it.  And just how much time does it take anyway?

Everyone’s situation is different (just like yesterday’s everyone’s journey is different) and no one can tell you just when your “thing” will get better, but it will.

The passage of time dims the hurt; your life gets back on track with patience.

I’m ten years post divorce now, that’s alot of time for things to get better.  The good news?  They have, and continue to do so.  It may not be the path I thought I’d be on when I got married at 23, but for me at this time in my life – it is the best path.

And things just keep getting better!

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