suddenlysinglewomen

Surviving the unwanted divorce

“Carryover”!! It Shouldn’t Happen But It Does . . .

I love this article.  It sounds exactly like something my GF’s and I would sit down to discuss after a bottle of wine on another “alone” Friday or Saturday night.  In it, it does elude to the possibility of you having another man in your life, but even if you don’t, the points are still OH SO VALID!

Nothing drives you crazier than going out with a new person and feeling like you’re having to “live up to” or “compensate for” the last woman to sit across the table from him.  I have never held anyone else accountable for the things my ex did, other than my ex.  So hear you go!  Read and enjoy these thoughts

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lee-gaitan/five-things-divorced-wome_b_6314616.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

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Changing Your Expectations?

A friend recently shared this little snippet, pretty sure there’s more where this came from so I’ll include the credit and link below should you choose to scope out more!  This one tho’, speaks loudly to me.  Read it first, then I’ll share my thoughts!

By:  Danielle LaPorte at #Truthbombs.   http://bit.ly/truthbombs

Truthbomb: “People are going to be who they are most of the time. In character, not out of character. We are — for better or for worse — generally predictable. So there’s a lot of sanity in just flowing with someone’s nature. Accept it. Forgive it. Just tolerate it. Or peace out if you don’t want it in your life. But don’t waste too much time trying to change it.”

Not long ago I was sharing something I’d read with a group of my GF’s.  I was commenting on how very sad it is that advice these days tells us if we don’t want to be disappointed in people, we should “lower” our expectations.  That just goes against everything I was taught and shown as a child of the 50’s.

Later, as a teacher, I was constantly reminded that my students would live up to my expectations.  If I didn’t expect much from them, they would give me just that – not much.  If I expected really good things from them, and held them to a high standard, they rarely let me down.

As I grow older in this 21st century, I am sad to report tho’ that a lot of people just don’t give a “sh*t” about what you think about them or their actions.  According to the quote above, I’m just supposed to tolerate it.

My biggest mistake I have found, is expecting people to handle situations the same as I would.  Politeness and good manners – what happened to them?  Everyone is so focused on their own needs, that thinking of others first, has disappeared.  That is a very sad state of affairs.

So maybe it’s time for me to take the last line above to heart, and not waste too much time trying to change it, or the people around me?  I’ll just be content to know that I will continue to put other’s needs first, knowing that I am no saint – but I am polite, have good manners and will continue to be so.

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Pause – – –

Sharing from my bud CS, my cowgirl back-up who always has my back.  You know, the kind of GF that supports you even when it’s not convenient?  Everyone needs one!  And it seems particularly good to share this at the beginning of a week, a short but sweet lesson!

 

“Practice the pause.

When in doubt, pause.

When angry, pause.

When tired, pause.

When stressed, pause.”

Hope this helps you get through your week a little more relaxed – remember to breathe!

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