suddenlysinglewomen

Surviving the unwanted divorce

Chicken Soup – Good For What Ails You?

The next few posts will be from a book I just recently found during my “purge” phase of cleaning out.

Yes, I’m one of those old school types that still likes to read an actual book printed on paper.  I do have a Kindle, and I have good intentions of using it!  Still, I thought it would be wise to read all the hardback/paperbacks that I’ve accumulated and then be able to donate those or add to the neighborhood “free library”!

So the latest book I unearthed is “Chicken Soup for the Soul – Divorce and Recovery”.  Even though my divorce was almost ten years ago, the word “recovery” in the title encouraged me to take a quick look at it.  I feel that I am recovered, worked hard to get there/here.  It says on the cover that it has “101 Stories About Surviving and Thriving after Divorce”.

Well . . . who doesn’t want to thrive, right?

I have friends who will not read my book, or follow my blog because they think it’s only about divorce, and that it’s only negative.  They couldn’t be more wrong.  Funny, if I had a friend who had written a book, or toiled away with a blog to try to help others, I’d buy it, or follow it, just to be supportive.  After all, if you don’t agree with the blog, or don’t want to always read it, just delete it from the inbox, . . . simple.  The support is the important thing.  But I digress, . . .

So I would like to share some of the things in the book that I really liked, and they can apply to many situations – not just divorce.

The authors/compilers are Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Patty Hansen.

From Chapter 50, pages 165-166 T’Mara Goodsell says:

“At a time in my life when I feel stranded and alone, some friends make a point of “checking in” to see how I’m doing, and some make sure the children and I always have plans for the holidays.  

There are the friends who know how to be there, and the friends who know how to listen.  There are those who offer perspective and ones who know how to be silly.  There are the ones who – bless their hearts! – are willing to rearrange their schedules in order to make precious time for me, all because they know just how valuable a real friend is.  

Most amazing of all are the friends who teach me (usually by example, like the gentlest and wisest of teachers) how to forgive.  

Every single one of them teaches me that even in the darkest of days, I can always make out the shapes of happiness if I strain enough to see.  They teach me that not every relationship lasts a lifetime – but that we will always have a lifetime of relationships.  

If anyone were to ask me what helps most in a divorce, I would tell them: friends.  Good friends.  They teach me that when I ask for a miracle to help me through the rough spots, I get friends who help me through the rough spots instead.  And that makes them the miracle I needed all along.”

Am I being that kind of friend?  I hope so, I surely do.

Advertisements
2 Comments »

Repurposing – Feels Good!

Recently I went on a bit of a “clean out” purge!  Not sure why, if I were pregnant I think they’d call it nesting.  I’m not talking about your normal clean out, but seriously thought out “repurposing”.  It feels very good, because in doing so, I was doing “good”.

I share with you just a few of my examples, just incase you decide to do a bit of a purge yourself!

  1.  Your son’s old sports trophies.  They live in the top of a closet, or under a bed because they can’t get rid of them, but they also don’t want them in THEIR homes, and it’s just fine thank you very much for them to live with me, LOL!  After keeping them for years (really, my sons are now 37 and 34) I did a bit of research and found a place northwest of town that takes the old trophies apart, reassembles them with new nameplates, and gives them to teams who cannot afford the cost of trophies for their kids.   Eldest son did go through the box one last time, a walk down memory lane I’m sure – but now those boxes are gone and the only thing in that closet currently?  Empty hangers for the next house guest.
  2. Your old wedding dress.  Yup, that dress you thought you would die if you didn’t have it when you spied it on the page of that bridal magazine in (EGAD!) 1976.  You felt like a fairy princess when you walked down the aisle to marry the man of your dreams and live happily ever after.  (That dress is so outta date it has sleeves!  Have you seen sleeves on any dress on any bride in the past . . . say, . . . 10 years?)  Even if your happily ever after or man of your dreams didn’t work out as mine didn’t, you still have that dress?  Well, there’s a group in my city called “Angel Gowns” and a friend mentioned it to me when I was sharing how I didn’t know what to do with that huge gold foil wrapped “heirloom keepsake” box at the top of my closet.   I contacted them and they were thrilled to take it off my hands.  They take it apart, clean it and make it into small and beautiful burial gowns for the parents who have lost an infant.  Goosebumps!
  3. Sampler size cosmetics, creams, hair products, etc. clogging up your bathroom drawers?  We’ve all received them whether walking through the cosmetic department, or in the mail, or at a style show.  Ever bought a beauty product and they give you a small tote full of tester samples?  Can’t quite throw those away even if no one you know could possibly have a skin tone that color?  Nail polish?  I always bought the color I had put on at my manicure so that in case I chipped it, I’d have the right color to repair it . . . only I now have shellac’d nails now so no chips and no repairs.  I must’ve had 20+ bottles of nail polish.  A curling iron you never use?  Why I ever bought it is beyond me since I spend most of my life fighting the curl, wave and frizz I have with a flat iron!  Empty all those out of your drawers and take them to a Woman’s Home or shelter near you.  When those abused women leave their homes, it’s generally quickly with little or no time to take anything with them.   How easy to do something so simple and know you’re helping a woman on the road to recovery, and feeling beautiful again.
  4. Old towels, blankets, sheets, pads laying around?  You think you can still get some use out of them but since they no longer match anything, or you’ve changed color schemes, or they have a slight stain that just won’t come out – yet you just can’t NOT use them, that would be wasteful, right?  There are animal rescues and shelters galore that would gladly take them off your hands.  If you’ve been to your local shelter and seen the scores of dogs and cats in kennels and standing/sleeping on cold concrete floors – it breaks your heart.  They’re abandoned, they’re thrown away like household garbage, they’re lost, alone and scared and do not understand where they are and now they have to sleep on cold concrete?  Call ahead but I’m betting they would be thrilled to take those old linens off your hands.

These are just a few of the examples of the repurposing I’ve been doing lately.  It feels really good.  So how about it?  What can you repurpose today?  And besides?  You’re keeping these things out of a landfill and doing a small part to be eco friendly.  A win-win!

Let me know if you think of another useful “repurpose”!  I’m looking to keep this up for a while!!

2 Comments »

Each Day A Gift – Up To You How To Spend It?

Rumored to have been found in the wallet of Coach Paul Bear Bryant on his death in 1982, whether it was or not, it’s still a good thing to share and “ponder”.  How will you spend it today?

The Magic Bank Account

Imagine that you had won the following *PRIZE* in a contest: 
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 in your private account for your use.
However, this prize has Rules:
The set of Rules:
 
1. Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.
 
2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
 
3. You may only spend it.
 
4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that day.
 
5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time, it can say, Game Over!” It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.
 
What would you personally do?
 
You would buy anything and everything you wanted right?  Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for.  Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
 
You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?
 
ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL…   Shocked ???    YES!
 
Each of us is already a winner of this *PRIZE*. We just can’t seem to see it
 
The PRIZE is *TIME*
 
1. Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of Life.
 
2. And when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is not credited to us.
 
3. What we haven’t used up that day is forever lost.
 
4. Yesterday is forever gone.
 
5. Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING…
 
SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?
 
Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.  
Think about it and remember to enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.
 
So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!
 
Here’s wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day.
Start spending….
 
“DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT GROWING OLD !”
 
SOME PEOPLE DON’T GET THE PRIVILEGE!

2 Comments »