suddenlysinglewomen

Surviving the unwanted divorce

Power of Positive Thinking!!

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I saw this on a friend’s FB page.  I told her I was going to steal it!

It’s been an interesting year, full of ups and downs.  Not sure if the ups won, or the downs won, but one thing I know for sure . . . . . I have to be the one to decide how I’m going to face 2016!

I think “AMAZING” sounds pretty darn good, how ’bout you??

Heartfelt thanks for following my blog in 2015, my third year.  You’ve helped me gain insight, and kept me looking for the positives.  Here’s hoping that we all find what it is that we’re searching for with this next 366 days (it is a Leap Year remember!).

Wishing you all the BEST!  Love and Hugs to you!

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Holidazed? Tis the Season for Reflection

“If I cut you off… Chances are you handed me the scissors because trust is like crumpling up a piece of paper. You can smooth it over as much as you want but it will never be the same again.”

I saw this quote the other day; it was not attributed to any one person so I can’t give him/her credit – but I am sharing it.  Wow – such a visual and oh so very true!

This was the year that things were supposed to be so positive.  I welcomed a new grandson in June, everyone healthy and happy.  He joins his sister in bringing us much joy and a lot of “action”!  In September my eldest got married to a lovely young woman so I welcomed another beautiful daughter n’law into the fold.  There was much to smile about, I have the photos to prove it!!

Yet somehow it’s also been the most unsettling year.  Trust has been broken on multiple fronts and my heart has taken some major blows.  My “aloneness” has never been more in the forefront of my thoughts as it has been this year, a year that my family has actually expanded.

I have much to be thankful for; I can pay my bills, have a roof over my head, food on the table, my health and physical well being.  Why is that not enough?  Why do I keep thinking/hoping that there is more out there?  Still hanging onto the belief of happily ever after and being in love is beginning to look futile.

That said, reality is that life isn’t easy and there will always be challenges and speed bumps.  I do understand and accept that.  The things that I’m talking about here are the hits that blind side you.  I had certain assumptions about relationships that would never change, in the friends and family category, that were SO wrong.  You reach out, you keep trying and that piece of paper that holds your trust keeps getting crumpled back up and thrown back at you.  I’m so tired of trying to smooth out those wrinkles.

So yes, this year I’ve starting cutting people off.  Yes, as in the above quote, they handed me the scissors.  It’s awful, it’s painful, but in the end, if they have no problem hurting me that badly, then clearly I do not need them in my life as I continue my journey of hope and healing.  How very sad for them that they are at a point in their lives where they feel it’s OK to hurt and break trust?

Bring on 2016, it’ll be a New Year with fresh starts, new friends, changing horizons, expanding goals and hopefully I will be able to retire those scissors.

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To Grow, To Change, To Adjust?

Random thoughts?  Random words? Random order?

Sometimes my mind is a total blank when I sit down to write my blog posts; sometimes my cup runneth over and I have so many thoughts that I have to jot them down on sticky notes just to save them.  And yes, sometimes I go back and look at those sticky notes and say: “HUH?”

Today as I sit here thinking about the “title”, I realize how very different it reads if you just change the order of the words around.  For example:

To grow, do I first have to change the way I think and adjust to my life the way it is now?  I certainly cannot grow if I’m resistant to change and refuse to adjust.  Shouldn’t that be my goal – to grow emotionally, spiritually, mentally?

But what if I switch it around and say:

In order to change, I must first adjust my way of thinking/acting so that I can then grow to be a better, happier, emotionally healthier person.  If I’m always sad, and act poorly, surely that will change the way people think of me and act toward me?

To switch it once more and contemplate:

If I adjust my expectations of what my life will be, will I more easily grow into the fulfilled woman that I’d hoped to be making a course change along the way when things don’t go as planned?

Perhaps I’m just being too analytical and should approach it from the “crock pot” point of view  throwing all these in the pot, stir them up and let them cook together on low for 6-8 hours?  Or do they each deserve their own focus, and I handle them one at a time?

Of course I could take the Scarlett approach and “fiddle dee dee, worry about this tomorrow?”

After all, there are packages to wrap, pecans to candy, dogs to walk, cards to address, menus to change, holiday flights to adjust and visions of sugar plums to grow in my head . . .

 

 

 

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