suddenlysinglewomen

Surviving the unwanted divorce

When Life Is Like The Movies?

I never saw the movie “Fifty First Dates”.  A rather silly premise that a woman has no memory of each “first date” with the same man, over and over?  Good thing that man must have a strong ego, wouldn’t you begin to wonder about yourself after being forgotten by the same person 50 times?

My dilemma?  I can’t seem to be remembered after the “first” date!!  Who gets fifty chances?  I wish there were exit interviews these men had to go through (with honesty – too much to ask for??) so we at least had some clue why there is never a “second” date?

There were a couple early on post divorce where there was more than one date, but those were long ago.  In that past 4-5 years, no “seconds”.  I suppose if my eating habits were like my dating I’d be really skinny!!

You have what you think is a lovely time.  You have many things in common, many subjects to talk about.  They say all the right things.  They suggest that we should “do this again”.  Afterwards, you’re feeling pretty good that you will see this person after the appropriate amount of waiting time.  You’re not suggesting wedding bells, you’re just thinking that next time you’ll share your favorite restaurant and your thoughts on some new topics of conversation.

After this first date, there may be a couple of phone calls, some flirty texts, a comment or two on your Facebook adventures.  Heaven forbid, there might even be a phone message wishing you a Happy Birthday.  When you next talk you share travel schedules, etc. but there is never the next “ask”, only suggestion . . . .    WHAT??

And they say women tease?  This is NOT Middle School.  I took myself off of the dating websites because they were a waste of time and completely about filling someone’s corporate pockets full of the money of lonely people trusting profiles filled out by total strangers.

If I went out again, it would just be with someone KNOWN by a friend of mine, or a suggestion of a colleague who knows my personality.  Safer right?

In my life that movie title certainly means something totally different.  So, as summer really begins to heat up, what is cooling down in my life is the desire to even try anymore.  As I’ve said before – Netflix is the way to go!

Maybe I’ll watch “Fifty First Dates” this weekend . . .

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Ha!! An Equine Perspective??

Some of my followers “know me” personally.  Some of you have never met me but share some of life’s challenges.  For the last group, I’ll share with you that I’m a horse nut.

I grew up wanting a pony, but my Father always said “no”!  He’d take me riding, but never wanted to be responsible for them.  : -(

Later when married I still wanted one, but had graduated to the taller variety of equine.  I dreamed of having a horse, but my husband always said “no”!  He would NOT take me riding, that I had to do on my own with friends who had extra mounts!

The horse “ailment” is something that never really goes away.  If you have it, it’s pretty much for life (unlike my marriage, right?).  When I saw this article, it made me laugh out loud.  I’ve had much better luck choosing horses, than I have had choosing men.  It’s nice to know I’m not the only one.

For a bit of humor, I hope you enjoy this woman’s perspective on picking men from a “horsey” point of view!!  She’s right on the money!

http://www.horsecollaborative.com/boyfriends-horses-id-better-picking/

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Doing Things Alone? Choice or Not?

Sometimes I have the VERY best of intentions.  I go through phases of being really glad I’m alone, to times of being really lonely.  My intentions are to become more settled with the “alone” life – to learn not be annoyed at not being in possession of a “plus one” – no where close (to having a plus one OR being settled about it).

I read articles all the time on the merits of being alone.  I attend events alone and I feel like I have a sign around my neck that says:  “Can’t get a date”!   My friends tell me not to be silly, it’s totally acceptable to be “sans man” at an event, at a dinner, in life.

When I have traveled, I have gone to restaurants alone and tried to look comfortable – but I’m just not.  Where do you look??  My eyes end up down, staring at my food.  I like conversation with my meals, shoot . . . , I like conversation period.  The service staff try to be friendly and perky, but they have other customers so you feel guilty taking up too much of their time.

Going to the movies alone was one of my first forays into the “single world” again.  You sit in the dark, no one notices or if they do, you don’t feel so obvious.  Besides, you don’t have to share your popcorn with anyone else, right?

So I believe one of my next “good intentions” to work on is embracing doing things alone and becoming more comfortable with it.  I share the blog below to further my resolve!!

But hey, if you’re up for hanging out – – – give me a call!!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2015/05/02/why-you-should-really-start-doing-more-things-alone/?tid=hybrid_experimentrandom_2_na

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