suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

A Funny Facebook Test?

I don’t usually do those little tests or activities on Facebook. I know they track everything, I know big brother is watching and keeping score (give it up – I’m BORING!!!).

But when you’re bored, and waiting around, and filling time, at loose ends . . . well??

So I did this one. Struck me as funny. And yes, I AM smarter than most people realize.

No, I DON’T get angry easy or have much of a temper (except maybe for the occasional outburst when my football team is playing poorly).

Yes, I AM quick to forgive.

I used to say I don’t hold a grudge, but I do get even. Joking. Not joking.

But when the trust bubble is popped, yup, that little FB test hit the nail on the head. You abuse it? You lose it!

The circle of those I truly know I can trust grows smaller everyday but you know what else? I’m OK with that.

The others? Bye Bye!

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Life Is Like A Book, . . .

Such true words. I feel like that is what’s happening in my life right now. I’m peaking over a precipice to see “what the next chapter holds.”

Have you been through this lately? A life change? It could be a relationship change, it could be a job status change, it could be a zip code/area code change.

Change is difficult, it’s challenging and it can bring you to your knees if you don’t try to have the right attitude about it. And even if you do have the right attitude about it, you still might need to hear those words of encouragement that you are making the right change.

Encouragement isn’t just for the scared or the weak – it needs to be for even the strongest and bravest because no one ever truly knows what’s going on “inside” your mind. That brave front you put “out there” for all to see? Later at night all alone is when those doubts start to plague you.

So, as you turn that chapter today, tomorrow or some time in the near future, find those people who “have your back”. Surround yourself with those people who offer encouragement and will be there for you, not just during a chapter change, but through life.

Find your “real deal” friends! You will know the ones. Like for me this past week when my BF from High School, and coincidently Maid of Honor in my wedding, reached out to have lunch. After almost four hours, I think the restaurant purposely quit refilling our iced tea glasses thinking we’d taken up the prime real estate on their patio for long enough, LOL! But what a wonderful way to spend an afternoon catching up with a “real deal” friend.

And what wonderful knowledge to carry with me into my next chapter, that I have friends like that in my life – not always seen, but always there when needed. So hey, next chapter? Bring it on, I got this . . .

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Plato – After All These Years

Some wisdom is ageless. But this is REALLY far back.

“The greatest wealth is to live content with little.”

  • Plato

After 13 1/2 years in this house that I built “during and post” divorce, I’m putting it on the market.

Scary.

The last time I had to list a house, pack up and organize a move – I was in the throes of divorce. Not the best of times. What to take? What to sell? What to donate? What will fit? Never thought I’d be doing it again, yet . . .

So when I saw this today in a book I’d been pouring over, about downsizing (thanks Marla!) it just seemed appropriate. I’m doing my best to re-purpose things. I’m donating things, I’m selling things. I’ve gotten prolific on eBay. I’ve entered the worlds of Poshmark and The RealReal.

I’m learning that what’s valuable in my eyes is not necessarily valuable at all. And I’m learning that the “it” thing is a white kitchen. Mine, of course, is stained wood in the shade of walnut.

Lucky for me I have neutral walls already but seriously? How much to change to make it the house that sells vs. the house that doesn’t? It’s a hot market in our city right now. Total epic fail last week on the power grid and water supply aside, Houston is a popular place to move to right now. And those interest rates? SCORE!

Letting go is hard. Combing through 40 years of photo albums, family memories, baby books that your kids do NOT want? Wow. Talk about a walk down memory lane. But I did it. Took a week, pulling out 10-15 photos only from each album that holds hundreds? Tough. Walking them out to the trash can? Even tougher.

My sons tell me that cleaning out is freeing. I’ll feel a lighter load. What I really felt was “Why? Why was my marriage and happily ever after the one that ended?” Why am I once again listing a house, and packing up ALL BY MYSELF?

Take a breath . . . because “The greatest wealth is to live content with little.” Guess Plato knew a thing or two . . .

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One Of Life’s Reflections:

“We leave behind a bit of ourselves wherever we have been.”

  • Edmond Haraucourt

Though I’m sure this was intended for 2-legged humans, I think it also applies to our four legged friends.

My eldest son had to put his dog down last week. He grew up in a family that had a dog/s, but they were the “family” dogs, never one that was just his. A very hard decision and one he sought counsel on. He’s never been through that before.

She had been one of my fosters, through my work with rescue, and he’d met her when she’d been returned to me after a failed adoption.

To be honest, when I first took her to the “approved” adopter’s home for a visit, I didn’t feel comfortable about it. They just didn’t seem a fit? But I had not done the background reference check, I had not done the “pre approval” home visit – I was just the foster.

After a week, they called me to come get her, “wasn’t working out” they said.

It was Christmas time, my family was all descending upon me for the holidays. My Mom was on a walker, I already had one large German Shepherd female of my own, another failed adoption had just come back to me several days earlier and now this one? Three large GSDs and a house full of family?

Boy was I gonna be in trouble . . .

Then quite the opposite happened. My son arrives, the next morning as he comes out of his bedroom, the foster is sitting there patiently outside the door waiting for him. It was love at first “pet”. He hadn’t come home planning to adopt a dog, especially one as large as this one, or that sheds quite so much.

But love is love.

He wrote the most amazing tribute to her on Facebook. He lost her 9 years to the day of her arrival at his home when I flew with her out there. She left paw prints on all our hearts. She was a beloved pet. She has left a little bit of herself behind (and undoubtedly they’ll be finding dog hair for a while) and we’re all the better for it.

“We leave behind a bit of ourselves wherever we have been.”

Run free sweet girl . . .

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Sage Wisdom From A Friend Who “Gets It”

People in our lives come and go. The whole “friends for a reason, friends for a season” thing IS a thing.

And sometimes when you’re feeling at your most vulnerable, whether it’s through a chance re-encounter, or a social media connection, or as in this case – a blog post, people will reach out just when you need it most.

People will show you that you don’t have to be around them, or connect to them daily, to find out that they care. Some are more sensitive than others; some are dealing with enough in their own lives that they can’t take the time to reach out to you/others.

And then this happens. Then this is sent to me from a super sweet, super great human being who I’ve known for 20+ years through non-profit work because?? She gets it. Many of you through the years have reached out on this blog with such positive comments, or have sent them to me privately (or in person) and I hope you know that it’s exactly what I needed at the time. I hope you know that in that instant – you saved me.

You are all my super heroes, but today I wanted to share what Cynthia shared with me, so that maybe today, you’ll reach out to someone just to check on them, prop them up, and let them know you care.

With a 100 followers here, if each of you reached out to just one person today – not your normal family/friend unit, just check in with someone you haven’t seen or spoken to in a while? Today can you please be someone’s super hero? Let them you know . . . you get it.

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Wise Words . . .

A friend sent this out via FB and it hit at the perfect time for me.

As I begin the long and arduous process of downsizing, cleaning out, then donating or repurposing, listing for resale and consigning, deciding what to keep – this hit the mark.

Believe me, the “Within you . . . all you need!” I pray is true because this is hard. My son says this will be “freeing”. Of course he has a great job with a bright future, a beautiful wife who adores him and three happy and healthy children. I’ll tell him to check back with me in 30 years, LOL!

So just incase you needed a boost today – – – here you go.

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“Never” – A Word To Erase . . .

This was a share to me from Facebook and it is:

A great reminder:

At age 23, Tina Fey was working at a YMCA.

At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.

At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer.

At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school.

At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.

At age 28, Wayne Coyne (from The Flaming Lips) was a fry cook.

At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter.

At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker.

At age 37, Ang Lee was a stay-at-home-dad working odd jobs.

Julia Child released her first cookbook at age 39, and got her own cooking show at age 51.

Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure skating team, didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue, and designed her first dress at age 40.

Stan Lee didn’t release his first big comic book until he was 40.

Alan Rickman gave up his graphic design career to pursue acting at age 42.

Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first movie role until he was 46.

Morgan Freeman landed his first MAJOR movie role at age 52.

Kathryn Bigelow only reached international success when she made The Hurt Locker at age 57.

Grandma Moses didn’t begin her painting career until age 76.

Louise Bourgeois didn’t become a famous artist until she was 78.

Whatever your dream is, it is not too late to achieve it. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t found fame and fortune by the age of 21.

Hell, it’s okay if you don’t even know what your dream is yet. Even if you’re flipping burgers, waiting tables or answering phones today, you never know where you’ll end up tomorrow.

Never tell yourself you’re too old to make it.

Never tell yourself you missed your chance.

Never tell yourself that you aren’t good enough.

You can do it.

Whatever it is that sets your soul on fire.

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New Beginnings – 2021

What a crazy beginning to the year. And we thought we just had to worry about a pandemic.

Is it just me? Or does the world seem to have gone completely sideways?

Remember when you used to hear, “Can’t we all just get along?”

Obviously not. No one truly wants to. I worry for our world. And I pray for it’s citizens.

Wishing you all, and myself . . . some peace.

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Happiest Of New Years!!

We deserve it. After a year of pandemic, political nastiness and more – I’m exhausted.

Besides that, as if that wasn’t enough, we all had additional things we had to cope with.

For me personally, it was a year trying to probate my Mom’s estate and having it drag on WAY longer than it should have. 14 months later, we’re still dealing with attorney issues – note to self – you WILL get through this.

I also made a huge personal decision to move in 2021. Not just changing houses, but changing states. I have (warning – double negative!) never not lived in this city and state. It’s 50% exciting and 50% terrifying. It felt like the right decision, but the closer it gets – I begin to have doubts. Or . . . am I just scared? People do it all the time . . .

Cleaning out has begun. Normally in a new year, I get organized, even more so than normal. I clean out, donate, repurpose, start again. This year will be much more “final”. When I think back over all the changes since my divorce, the really large ones have seemed to be forced upon me. I kept my chin up and powered through.

This time it feels different. This time it feels even more forced. This time it will be harder to keep my chin up because my beautiful “freedom and new beginnings” home that I built and moved into post divorce . . . will be gone. It was my statement of surviving being “suddenly single”. It was my statement of independence. It was my statement of being “out from under” the thumb of control. It was showing my children that “I got this”!

I know I’ll be OK. I know there are folks out there who are suffering from much bigger things than what I complain about, but it still is very real to me. It’s why you haven’t heard from me as consistently as you used to. Processing all of these changes during normal times is hard. 2020 has been a train wreck.

I will get through it, we all will get through it. I have my first “vaccine” next week, that’s a step in the right direction. While the clean out continues, my kids would like some of my things, that’s a happy thing – I can visit them, LOL! A bit of me will live on in their homes. I got to start my grand daughter in riding lessons – my passion passed to a new generation.

I’ll list the positives, and I’ll pray for all of us that 2021 becomes the year of kinder and gentler, of health and prosperity, of believing that all human and animal lives are important. Happy New Year to each of you.

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Walking Away . . .

As we enter the busy and crazy holiday season, we can be pulled in so many different directions. Newsflash: people can be VERY selfish and demanding.

This time – take care of yourself. This time – put your needs first. It’s OK. After the year we’ve had, you deserve it. Let’s all be healthier together!

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