suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

12) What Goes Around Come Around

Today is our last “thought” and if anything should strike terror into the hearts of the Mean Girls, this is it, LOL!!

Admittedly, when someone “does me wrong”, I do think this thought – alot!  How can you not?

Who knows if it actually happens; who knows if we’ll be around to see it or if we should WANT to see it?

But we’re human . . .

 

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9) Smiles Are Contagious

‘Nuff said!

: -)

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8) Positive Thoughts Create Positive Things

Following on the heels of Happiness comes from within, is today’s thought tickle!

Isn’t this just one of those things that sounds so obvious that you wonder why it has to be pointed out?

Isn’t it sad that it has to be?

Especially over the past couple of years in our country, I’ve never seen such animosity and divide.  No one can agree on anything.  What ever happened to my Mother’s old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”?  These days if you’re a fly, you’re just gonna get squashed.

The power of positive thinking can create great change now when we need it most.  Where can it start?  With the person in the mirror!

Go download the John Lennon song “Imagine” and then . . . imagine being positive with everyone you encounter today.

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7) Happiness Is Found Within

I’ve known this one a long time – but it doesn’t make it any easier to accomplish.

I guess I was really a witness to this in my marriage.  When things start to go south, there’s alot of blame being hurled around.  One of those accusations???  “I’m not happy anymore, you don’t make me happy.”

You wanna scream – “It’s not my job!”    But it also isn’t that easy.

In any relationship, you certainly want to do nice things for the other person, to put a smile on their face, to show your love, that you care, that they are important to you.  However, what if that person is so miserable, and can’t see that it starts with him or her?  They may toss your kindness and love right back in your face.  How does that make you feel?

Like not trying anymore.  And so the relationship break down begins.

Don’t let their misery bring you down – let’s hope your happiness is infectious.  Let’s hope that some day they understand that “Happiness Is Found Within”!

 

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5) Judgements Are A Confession of Character

Have you ever heard of the Meyers Briggs Personality Assessment?

If you are ever curious about the reasons behind why you make certain decisions, how you might handle a certain situation or are contemplating a relationship – go do this test!  It’s an eye opener.

I did one years ago, as part of a leadership group I was participating in.  Boy did it open my eyes to some of my personality traits.  What was even MORE eye opening several years later, was after my “then” husband did one for work.  We compared our scores.  It should have been a warning.

I scored very highly on the “judger” judgmental part of the test.  I’d never had that trait identified like that before.   I really had to focus on being more understanding of other’s opinions and personalities and seeing that I could not put how “I” would handle something on them, as an expectation.

I think I have a pretty good character – and most of the time I’m a really good person, but it is still a daily struggle at times to let those judgements go.  What can I say but that I’m a constant work in progress!

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Sorry I Can’t Take Your Call Right Now . . .

Cleaning out the “draft folder” – it’s full of things I find that grab my attention, and I want to post about them, but just need some time to think on it.  So, I copy and paste, and save to “draft”.

Periodically I go back and edit, and post after fleshing out my thoughts.  Sometimes it just speaks for itself, LOL!  Making those positive changes in your life allows you to walk away from the negative nellies.  Cannot say I’d go so far as the quote below, but it did make me chuckle, and I hope you’ll take it in the fun with which I intend by sharing it with you!

 

Jim’s Daily Awakenings

“I met a remarkable woman the other day who has a unique recorded message on her voicemail.  It says: “This is ___________.  Sorry I missed you.  Leave me a message.  But I need to warn you: I’m making some changes in my life.  If I don’t get back to you, you are one of the changes.”

Let’s face it, many of us could stand to make changes in our lives.  And in order to make these changes, we will need to consider people.

Do you need to add her last two sentences to your voicemail?”

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So How Are Those Resolutions Coming Along??

https://www.buzzfeed.com/jemimaskelley/tiny-changes

Had to squeeze in another post for the first month of a new year!!  My sweet friend and constant promoter/follower CS sent this one to me.  Thank you ma’am!!  I really enjoyed reading all the suggestions for “tiny changes”, and even clicked on some of the links within this link.

I’ve been trying to add some of them to my day because I am determined that this is the year of feeling “Positive”!  Moreover, I’ve even taken to sharing posts on Facebook on Fridays with the hashtag:

#FeelGoodFriday

Can you see the thread in my 2018 Blog posts so far?

When I share with people about my book, and my blog, they often mistake what it’s all about.   They have no interest in reading it, or following it, especially if they’re happily married or have no divorce plans in their future.  At first the lack of support really hurt my feelings, after all, I would certainly go buy a copy of a book if a friend wrote one – regardless of the content.

Yes, the book is definitely related to surviving divorce.  More importantly, it’s for getting yourself back on track, and finding the best version of yourself.  Same with the blog, as it started out about divorce survival, but has totally turned into a place to share positive thoughts, and new beginnings, reminders to take care of yourself AND show compassion to others.

Someday, I hope people will give it a chance instead of assuming they wouldn’t enjoy it, or need it.  It’s been so cathartic for me, and the positive feed back I do receive from those who follow is what keeps me writing and sharing.  So to you followers?  Thank you from the bottom of my typing fingertips!!

2018 for me is going to be about feeling good about life, being happy with my circumstances, being grateful for my blessings, and spreading positivity through the world – at least my world.

I would love for you to join me.  To quote from my alma mater:  “What starts here changes the world”!

 

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Just A Reminder – – –

While cleaning off my refrigerator the other day (note to self, double-sided sticky tape is really hard to get off your stainless steel appliances!!) – I finally took down one of my 2017 objectives.

Before it goes into the recycle bin, it bears repeating one more time – because it’s so pertinent to the “new year” and “new beginnings” I’ve been sharing.  So indulge me and let’s run this one by one more time.

A quote by Brigitte Nicole:

Either they like you or they don’t  Never try to convince somebody of your worth.  If a person doesn’t appreciate you, they don’t deserve you.  Respect yourself and be with people who truly value “you”.

Can I hear an AMEN!

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Complaining – It’s Everywhere . . .

Recently I wrote about changing your attitudes, being more positive!  Safe to say, I have less than positive feelings about complaining!

People who complain alot – do they really think that’s going to change anything?  I’ve admitted in the past that I used to REALLY complain about bad drivers.  EGAD – where are these people from?  But I have made a concerted effort lately to not let it rattle me as much.

(Is that called “practice what you preach”?)

Are you hurting the other person?  Nope.  Are you changing the other person’s behavior?  Most likely not.  Complaining hurts me; it leads to anger, headaches, bitterness, negativity, raised blood pressure, and I’m pretty sure my eyes cross and I get those frown wrinkles between my brows.  Botox anyone?

I found a definition of the action:  “Complaining is expressing dissatisfaction with a circumstance that is not wrong and about which I’m doing nothing to correct.”

Just because it’s wrong in my opinion, does it necessarily make it wrong?  Deep thoughts to leave you with:

Criticism involves people; complaining involves circumstances.”

In the season of Thanksgiving, definitely something to be aware of as we go about our busy daily lives.

 

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Some Patterns Are Good . . . Others? Not So Much

I’m a “former” teacher.  I was always looking for patterns of good behavior.  I rewarded that good behavior, did the same as a mother when my sons were young.  The ol’ saying you can catch alot more flies with honey than vinegar was alive and well growing up in my house.

Don’t get me wrong, bad behavior was dealt with, I didn’t just ignore it, but I really really searched out the positive to draw attention to.

A book I completed this summer really had me focusing on attitudes, and how pervasive they are in our lives – both yours, and those around you.  One of the sub-topics in the book was:

“Attitudes are patterns of thinking formed over a long period of time.”

Could it be that those same attitudes are learned by mimicking those people we are around the most?

If you exhibit good behavior, and surround yourself with those who also show good behavior, does it then become a pattern of life?  Wouldn’t that be nice?

As I read in this book:

“Our attitudes are patterns of thinking – formed over a long period of time.  Wrong attitudes are hard to change because they are habitual, harmful ways of thinking about life and circumstances.  Patterns of thinking are so deeply ingrained in our hearts that we hardly even notice them.  We get so used to reacting a certain way that our choices become automatic, and in time we cease to see them as actual choices.  We feel like we are trapped, but we are not.  Tragically, the consequences are also automatic, and that is the cycle that we are trying to break.”

Thing is, we may have a bad attitude, we may be surrounded by alot of bad attitude, but we can change it.   The author offered this:  “You can’t change an attitude until you admit you chose it. But if you’re willing to say, “I choose my attitude,” then a different choice becomes your option.  By admitting you made the choice, you put yourself in a position to make a different choice next time.”

There has been SOOOOO very much negativity in our country over the past year.    If these people were my students, I’d be bald by now from pulling my hair out looking for the positive behaviors to reward.  At least I know I can own my behavior, and change it if need be.

Can you share a good attitude today . . . and make it a pattern?

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