suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Ahhhh – Summertime, Summertime, Sum Sum Summertime!

(hopefully the tune hit your brain, LOL??)

One thing the start of the pandemic, the shutdowns, etc did for many was to help them clear all their “lists” of things to watch on every TV watching service available.

Whether it’s a DVR, a streaming service, a Netflix DVD – we were watching a multitude of things to fill the time.  Back in January it was something happening elsewhere.   Then it hit here.  What do you do when you hunker down?

TV programming!

I jotted down this from one of the many shows I watched, then forgot about it.   I uncovered it the other day and remembered I wanted to share it.   It made me chuckle.   We all need a good chuckle every now and again, right?

Not saying this is how you should approach life, but hey – if the shoe fits . . . . ?

“Not dealing with things is my preferred way of dealing with things”!

Wish I could remember which show I heard it on, I watched so many but there you have it.   Hope it brought a slight chuckle to you today.  (I think the heat is getting to me!)

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A Thought For Life – – –

I heard this quote the other day and it was like a “message” was being sent to me directly.

Family, friends, neighbors, people in general – sometimes they irk you.  You wonder how can they not see it?  You get cranky, you might even think you should “get even” – but what does that solve?  Doesn’t change them, their actions, one bit.

So next time you get REALLY irritated, think of this:

“LOVE ISN’T BASED ON A SCORECARD”

It might help.

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Let’s Try This Again – – –

I’m going to try this again.   For some reason, I copy the link and it just does NOT want to go into my post.   Fingers crossed, I never promised to be “techie”, ha ha!!  But Copy and Paste has always worked in the past.

If it doesn’t work, you can try a Google search for the author:  John P Weiss and it was posted on October 24, 2019.

The does and don’ts of polite conversation are always things to remember, especially these days of people being overly anxious and stirred up.  Thanks for your patience.

 

View at Medium.com

 

 

 

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The Art Of Conversation – – –

My son sent me this a while back.  I’m hoping that it wasn’t necessarily directed at me, but more a share of things that irritate all of us.  Yes, I have some friends that do this, constantly interrupt and not let me finish my thoughts or my sentence.

At least now tho’, I am trying really hard to make sure I’m not also “one of those”.  Polite conversation, after the spring of social distancing we’ve all had, just being together is going to be more important than ever.  Let’s all be more aware of “listening” first.

 

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0?ui=2&ik=9c114b4ccd&attid=0.1.1&permmsgid=msg-f:1663690015649151240&th=17169d412f21b908&view=att&disp=safe

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Final Thoughts For A New Decade #9 – – –

I AM ENOUGH!

So, . . . it’s bolded and capitalized.

Yes I am.

If you’ve never lived or worked or associated yourself with a person or persons who do not think you are enough?  Lucky you.

If you have, I’m sorry.

I have.

It’s taken me a long time to appreciate my worth as a person, as a friend, as a member of a family unit.

How are you feeling today?  Are you feeling like you are enough?  My hopes for all of us is that we continue to put ourselves in the best environments and situations where we are able to realize our full potential, and grow to know we are enough.

As the “social distancing” continues, we’ve been given the gift of time to do more self reflection.  Be safe everyone.

Glow from within my fiends.  You are enough!

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Thoughts For A New Decade #8 – – –

I have the right to express my needs honestly

“Honestly” – that’s an interesting way of putting this thought.  Does not doing it honestly mean you alter those needs because no one around you is going to help fulfill those needs unless you make it easy for them?  Or does it mean you alter your needs to fit their needs, their timing, their opinions of your needs?

Doesn’t it really just mean to be yourself, take care of yourself, and if you need something more from a family member, a friend, a partner you are honest in opening up to them?

My Father used to say that honesty is the best policy.  Bet you heard that one too when you were growing up and learning to be your own person.

If those that you surround yourself are too busy filling their own needs to concern themselves with any of yours, maybe it is time to alter the way you seek to fulfill your personal needs with those same people.  Maybe they are just totally unaware that you need a bit more attention.

And perhaps if you make decisions about those close to you without giving them the opportunity to learn of your needs, and your frustrations, it’s being unfair to them.   Or maybe you need to seek out a more caring and thoughtful group of people to be around.

This one is a tough one.  Lately I have begun to be more vocal in the things I need, seek, in friends and family.  If something bothers me, I’m trying to be more “honest” and open about it, JUST IN CASE those friends and family do not realize.

And then . . . if they chose not to care, I have my answer.

 

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Thoughts For A New Decade #5 – – –

“Nobody has to agree with me”

In this year of an “election”, boy is this something that resonates on a daily, even hourly basis.  Remember the old rule, don’t talk politics or religion at the table?

How can we help it?  It’s in our face  ALL. DAY. LONG!

It’s to the point of having to “pause” the posts on some of my FB friends (are you wondering if it’s you?); it’s gotten really really ugly.  How can it not?  Look at the example that is being set by leadership.  If they can sling mud 24/7 on the national media, why can’t we?

Because it’s exhausting and just plain rude behavior.  What ever happened to kinder, gentler?

Well, JMHO but it’s really OK to accept that nobody has to agree with you.   It’s your opinion, you have a right to it; I have an opinion too, but please don’t try to change mine.   We don’t have to agree, but the ugliness really needs to stop.

I’m OK you don’t agree with me, you don’t have to.   But I will pause you . . .

 

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When People Get You Down?

Be the opposite.   Be that person in someone’s life that puts a smile on their face and in their heart.

The older I get, the more I notice there are some really grumpy people out there.  Yes, maybe life has dealt them alot of sh*t, but they are never going to feel better about their life by making someone else’s miserable.  Neither will you.

I read once that Jacquelyn Kennedy was a person who would look you in the eye while listening to you, and never scan the room for the “better deal”.  She was known to make you feel like the ONLY person in that room.

Every body is a somebody!  Don’t ever be that person that makes them feel “less than”.

There’s a wonderful company out of Colorado that produces a great line of tees and hoodies (as well as other products).  Great fabrics but greater message.   If you get a chance, head on over to:  “Be Good To People” and check out their products.  I met them one summer in Colorado and have been following their story (as well as purchasing their product line).

What a simple message.  I love this message and the family owned business that promotes it.

So this week?  Be good to people and make everybody feel like somebody!!

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Truth! Believe It!

We all have them in our lives, but are we ignoring them?  Are we walking away from them?  If we ignore them long enough will they just move on?  Maybe.

But do yourself a favor and remove them from your sphere of the universe.  No one needs another downer in their life.  Too many things go wrong on a daily basis, do you really need to add to your stress level?  Not me!

I can spot them so much more easily now.  I was brought up to believe in the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you – but guess what?  They’re so wrapped up in themselves, that they really don’t care about you and your needs or feelings.

Just finished the book, “The Narcissist Next Door”.  A neighbor had recommend I read it, so because I’m in the car alot, I downloaded the Audible version and listened to it.  Wow!  Can I recognize some of those behavior traits that before I would just ignore, or think there was something wrong with me?  You betcha’!  That’s their specialty, making YOU think there is something wrong with YOU.

Remove them from your universe.  It’s not easy, some of these people I’ve known a very long time, but it’s just not a healthy relationship.

There are so many wonderful people out there, kind hearted and caring.  Embrace them, cherish them, and let them know how much you appreciate them.  Seriously, today, after you read this, reach out to one special person and tell them how much you appreciate their positiveness.  You’ll make their day, and you’ll feel so much better too.  : -)

 

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10.  Don’t be afraid of other people’s empty judgments.

10.  Don’t be afraid of other people’s empty judgments.

“The greatest and most gratifying experiences in life cannot be seen or touched.  They must be felt with the heart from the inside out.  There’s nothing more inspiring than the complexity and beauty of human, heartfelt feelings.  Sadly though, many people let the fear of judgment numb and silence them.  Their deepest thoughts and feelings often go unspoken, and thus barely understood.

Do NOT let people invalidate or minimize how you feel.  If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you.  Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever.  No one else occupies your body, or sees life through your eyes.  No one else has lived through your exact experiences.  And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel.  Your feelings are important.  Never let anyone or any circumstance lead you to believe otherwise.

Remind yourself that there is a great freedom in leaving others to their opinions, and there is a huge weight lifted when you take nothing personally.”

 

This is a great last part of this series of posts I’ve been sharing.  It is so validating to me to read this and I’ll tell you why.

When I published my book on divorce recovery and “survival” as a newly single woman, one of the first points I tried to get across to my readers was “your feelings are YOUR feelings”.  Don’t ever let people judge you or tell you HOW to feel, and WHEN to feel and WHAT to feel.

People are always going to try to tell you what to do, when to do it, how to do it, how THEY would do it, and so on.

Friends and family (one hopes) want what’s best for you – that’s great.  However, you have to walk the path of your life yourself, in the way that you feel is best for you.  You’re going to make some people mad; you’re going to receive  some criticism both behind your back and to your face.  You may have to live with knowing you’ve disappointed those who are closest to you . . .

Let it roll off like water on a duck’s back.

If we’re trying to be the best version of ourselves this year, then we need to listen to our hearts.

Can you hear it?

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