suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

2.  Don’t be afraid to trust yourself.

2.  Don’t be afraid to trust yourself.

“You may not be where you want to be yet, but you’ve also come a long way from where you once were.  Appreciate how far you’ve come.  You’ve been through a lot, but you’ve grown a lot too.  Give yourself credit for your strength and resilience.  You have good reason to believe that you can trust yourself going forward, not because you’ve always made the right choices, but because you’ve survived and grown from the bad ones.

Good things take time, and you’re getting there.  So don’t allow yourself to be crippled by stress and self-loathing.  Everything is only as it is.  There’s no reason to let it cripple you.  Remind yourself to breathe—to let every moment be what it’s going to be.  What’s meant to be will come your way, and what’s not will fall away.  And remember that life’s best gifts may not always be wrapped the way you expect.”

 

Boy is this a good one for me.  For years I didn’t trust myself, not that you could tell that from the outside looking in.  My friends would have told you that I showed confidence, inside I was the total opposite.  When you live with a narcissist, and that person makes sure you know how much you “disappoint”, you start to believe.

When that person is no longer in your life, you begin to learn to trust yourself.  You begin to realize that all along, you were just fine.  People may not always agree with my decisions, but I trust myself to make the best ones FOR ME!

I am a work in progress, aren’t we all?  I spend more time now with the “go with the flow” instead of the “swimming upstream”.  You do learn to breathe, you do learn to be more relaxed.  And yes, I appreciate how far I’ve come because I remember well where I started.  I trust myself and have grown so much in the past post-divorce 11+ years.

I like “me”.

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Opportunities!

Advice columnist Ann Landers said:  “Opportunities are often disguised as hard work.  Most people fail to recognize them.”

Suffice to say not all people are on board with “hard work”.  There are those that expect things to be handed over to them without so much as lifting a finger to deserve it.  Irritating? Yup!  Universal?  Double Yup!

Author James MacDonald said:  “Those who study human experience agree almost universally that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you choose to respond.”

It gives me pause, and it should, because how I choose to respond to something could change my life and those around me for a very long time.  We’re not always dealt the hand that we want to play with – but unlike golf, there aren’t many “mulligans” in that life.

Your decisions and your attitudes play a huge part in taking advantage of opportunities.  And yes, it does indeed require hard work.  I leave you with a quote from another author, Charles Swindoll, on the power of being positive with your possibilities!

“Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude . . . I believe the single most important decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my attitude choice.  It’s more important than my past.  It’s more important than my education or my bankroll or my success or my failures.  My attitude choice is more important than my fame or my pain or what others think or say about me or my position or my circumstances.  Attitudes keep me going or cripple my progress.  Attitude alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope.  When my attitude is right, there is no barrier too high nor valley too deep nor dream too extreme nor challenge too great for me.”

What are your opportunities today?

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The Two “B’s” . . .

Do I have you thinking??  What do you think the two “B’s” are?

Breakfast or Brunch?

Bats and Balls?

Bend or Break?

Biggio and Bagwell?  (OK, that’s only for real baseball fans!)

OK, I’ll stop now!  : -)  For the purposes of this post, my two “B’s” are “better” and “bitter“.

I’ve covered this before, but a recent incident brought it back in memory and it’s OK to sometimes rehash a thought.  With the exception on one little letter, which one are you?  How can changing that one little letter make you a happier person?

No matter if you started following this post because of your own divorce, or you just signed up to make me feel better (and hopefully yourself!), this covers everyone.

Sometimes in those critical moments of making a decision on how to react to a situation, you come to a crossroads, a fork in the path.  You make a choice and it can either make you a happier person, or doubt can lead you to falter, or down a darker pathway.

“The circumstances of life either shrink or stretch your faith.  Either you get better or you get bitter.  The choice is yours.”

I hope that in life, I have made the “better” choices, because choosing to be bitter only hurts you!  In closing, take heart in the positiveness of this old gospel banner:

Doubt see the obstacles.

Faith sees the way.

Doubt sees the darkest night.

Faith sees the way.

Doubt dreads to take a step.

Faith soars on high.

Doubt questions, “Who believes?”

Faith answers, “I”

 

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Get Rid Of That Critic In Your Brain!

A while back, when I used to attend a “Divorce Recovery Group”, one of the ladies there said she tried hard NOT to give her ex husband “free rent” in her brain.  But isn’t that true of anyone who hurts us or criticizes us?  Why do we let them inside?  Because it’s hard to kick them out sometimes.  Guilty!

Does this make you more critical of others?  Guilty!

Is it easy to replace a critical attitude?  Don’t I wish.

Author James MacDonald writes:

A continuously critical attitude toward those around me will consume all that is healthy and joy-producing in my life.”

Let’s dump that critical attitude.  There is WAY too much hate in our world today, and it’s not an overnight fix!  But – can you be one of the changes today?

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12) What Goes Around Come Around

Today is our last “thought” and if anything should strike terror into the hearts of the Mean Girls, this is it, LOL!!

Admittedly, when someone “does me wrong”, I do think this thought – alot!  How can you not?

Who knows if it actually happens; who knows if we’ll be around to see it or if we should WANT to see it?

But we’re human . . .

 

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9) Smiles Are Contagious

‘Nuff said!

: -)

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8) Positive Thoughts Create Positive Things

Following on the heels of Happiness comes from within, is today’s thought tickle!

Isn’t this just one of those things that sounds so obvious that you wonder why it has to be pointed out?

Isn’t it sad that it has to be?

Especially over the past couple of years in our country, I’ve never seen such animosity and divide.  No one can agree on anything.  What ever happened to my Mother’s old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”?  These days if you’re a fly, you’re just gonna get squashed.

The power of positive thinking can create great change now when we need it most.  Where can it start?  With the person in the mirror!

Go download the John Lennon song “Imagine” and then . . . imagine being positive with everyone you encounter today.

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7) Happiness Is Found Within

I’ve known this one a long time – but it doesn’t make it any easier to accomplish.

I guess I was really a witness to this in my marriage.  When things start to go south, there’s alot of blame being hurled around.  One of those accusations???  “I’m not happy anymore, you don’t make me happy.”

You wanna scream – “It’s not my job!”    But it also isn’t that easy.

In any relationship, you certainly want to do nice things for the other person, to put a smile on their face, to show your love, that you care, that they are important to you.  However, what if that person is so miserable, and can’t see that it starts with him or her?  They may toss your kindness and love right back in your face.  How does that make you feel?

Like not trying anymore.  And so the relationship break down begins.

Don’t let their misery bring you down – let’s hope your happiness is infectious.  Let’s hope that some day they understand that “Happiness Is Found Within”!

 

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5) Judgements Are A Confession of Character

Have you ever heard of the Meyers Briggs Personality Assessment?

If you are ever curious about the reasons behind why you make certain decisions, how you might handle a certain situation or are contemplating a relationship – go do this test!  It’s an eye opener.

I did one years ago, as part of a leadership group I was participating in.  Boy did it open my eyes to some of my personality traits.  What was even MORE eye opening several years later, was after my “then” husband did one for work.  We compared our scores.  It should have been a warning.

I scored very highly on the “judger” judgmental part of the test.  I’d never had that trait identified like that before.   I really had to focus on being more understanding of other’s opinions and personalities and seeing that I could not put how “I” would handle something on them, as an expectation.

I think I have a pretty good character – and most of the time I’m a really good person, but it is still a daily struggle at times to let those judgements go.  What can I say but that I’m a constant work in progress!

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Sorry I Can’t Take Your Call Right Now . . .

Cleaning out the “draft folder” – it’s full of things I find that grab my attention, and I want to post about them, but just need some time to think on it.  So, I copy and paste, and save to “draft”.

Periodically I go back and edit, and post after fleshing out my thoughts.  Sometimes it just speaks for itself, LOL!  Making those positive changes in your life allows you to walk away from the negative nellies.  Cannot say I’d go so far as the quote below, but it did make me chuckle, and I hope you’ll take it in the fun with which I intend by sharing it with you!

 

Jim’s Daily Awakenings

“I met a remarkable woman the other day who has a unique recorded message on her voicemail.  It says: “This is ___________.  Sorry I missed you.  Leave me a message.  But I need to warn you: I’m making some changes in my life.  If I don’t get back to you, you are one of the changes.”

Let’s face it, many of us could stand to make changes in our lives.  And in order to make these changes, we will need to consider people.

Do you need to add her last two sentences to your voicemail?”

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