suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Feb 21

The Year Of Cleaning House – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

And I don’t mean actually cleaning the physical house. UGH! What I’m thinking 2024 is for me is the year I’m finally gonna get “real” about relationships, both long term and short term.

Some people lift you up, some drag you down. Some people meet expectations and exceed them. Some people you keep lowering your expectations and they still disappoint. Why do we do that to ourselves?

So by cleaning house, I really am saying that some people I thought were friends, you know, the forever type? I’m moving on. It’s too exhausting to be the only one vested in the relationship. It’s too disappointing to forever be offering graciousness and latitude, gifts of kindness and opportunities, and get nothing back in return.

I know you should not “give” so that you will “receive”, but at some point the “give” doesn’t even get a thank you or an acknowledgement? And the repeated yearly “gives” become expected vs appreciated.

I just had some friends from my old hometown visit here in the mountains and we talked about life, the past, the future, shared many topics and opinions. One of the funnier conversations covered Christmas cards. One of the people that I always send to, and who never sends back, mentioned that she doesn’t spend the time or money to send them but she really does enjoy getting them and hopes to continue to receive them. I think I must’ve done a head tilt and a “huh”? Don’t you think I enjoy receiving them too? Am I not worth the cost of a stamp and the time to address a card?

I know what you’re thinking, I’m being silly, I’m being too harsh, I need to get over it. Maybe, but it just struck me that the only way to quit being disappointed, is to quit setting my self up for it to happen. So I’m cleaning house, and surrounding myself with those who appreciate my friendship, who value me as a person and understand that I am worth your time.

And I suppose I’ll be addressing fewer Christmas cards this year. (sorry for the rant, but sometimes you just need to)

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Feb 1

YAY – February!

by suddenlysinglewomen

Lordy, get me outta January!! Though it’s still cold, there are more sunny days and I am so grateful. 

Speaking of being grateful, I stumbled across this article the other day and thought, since many of us have run into this personality trait, it would be a great share. For me, reading it made me grateful to no longer being in the sphere of a man suffering from this. (Women display it too, not male bashing)

Give it a look see, and let me know if you’ve tried any of these hints. Heaven help me that I ever run into this again, but now at least I have a menu of things to choose from. Read and enjoy your February. 

Link: https://kimsaeed.com/2020/08/12/how-to-make-a-narcissist-miserable-12-things-they-hate/

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Aug 28

Turn The Page, Flip The Script – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

And just let it go!

Great message I listened to yesterday. Really sunk in, thoughts you know you should listen to, but this time it was all in the presentation! Maybe it was the low pressure environment? Maybe it was the lack of a person’s advice making me feel guilty? Maybe it was actually the person that delivered the message? Maybe I was just ready to hear it?

As we get older (and wiser?) we begin to realize that the comfort zone in which we grew up in, or the life as we knew it until a life altering event happened, is no longer our reality. The ol’ “go with the flow” is a really hard thing to do when the rug has been pulled out from under you.

Feelings are hurt, you’re angry and resentful, and you wonder WHY? What did I do to deserve this?

Family dynamics change, friends disappear, relationships that you thought were forever, fade away. I’m the type person that works really hard to maintain the status quo, fix what’s not working. There’s a phrase I love: Preventative Maintenance! I’d much rather prevent the repair, than have the repair. Make sense?

But – I’m starting to understand that you can do all that you can do to “prevent” and still things break, and yes, I’m talking about people now, more than things. You can alter your thoughts and actions to please others, lower your expectations and still they’re not going to be happy, or give one flip about your happiness, your level of comfort.

The message I listened to yesterday was part of a series called “Peter Pan and Tinkerbell” – never growing up, never taking responsibility and only living in a world of pleasing themselves. It’s a societal problem and I have no idea how to fix it, how to repair it. The preventative maintenance should have been done years ago when we started letting people get by with things, not holding them accountable for their actions.

I’m kinda tired of trying. I’ve been disappointed for the last time. Think I’m gonna give it a rest and turn the page, flip the script and just (can you hear the Idina Menzel song from Frozen here?) LET IT GO!!

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Mar 5

How To Succeed In Family And Community:

by suddenlysinglewomen

Three simple truths to being a part of a healthy family and a vibrant community.

  1. Sit in Truth
  2. Walk in Love
  3. Stand against Evil

If you’re like me, some days are definitely better than others. My “actions speak louder than words”! (and sometimes those actions just irritate people)

My thoughts? They are not always positive, and I do try to banish them where they belong. Life can be a struggle, and everyone has something that is troubling them.

Sometimes if you just give it time, it’ll work itself out. Sometimes you can meet it head on and take charge. And sometimes, you just have to walk away.

I heard a great talk today about being 1) positive, 2) profound and 3) purposeful.

Sometimes we as humans flourish, sometimes we flounder.

So I’ll continue to work hard to have my best life, and be the best version of myself that I can be. I will remember that we are all just a “work in progress”.

Hope you have a great week.

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Sep 30

After Last Night’s Presidential Debate – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

I don’t know many people who didn’t watch it . . . so I’ve been holding this post for a time I thought was appropriate, and after last night, I think it’s “time” to share.

No matter your political leanings, IMHO, last night was a circus, and not in a fun way.  Today I search for a kind of peace that may not be possible, but this tidbit shared with me by my buddy Diva J is certainly needed.

I hope you too can find some peace amongst the chaos that has been 2020.

 

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Sep 10

Fun “Differences” – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

There is no doubt, this has been “one of those years” and I’m pretty sure we’re ready for it to “move on”!  So while we are being made painfully aware of all our racial, gender and political differences, I share below a fun list . . . of differences.

It’s relevant in my own extended family, over the pronunciation of the word “Aunt”.  How many of these have you run across?

https://www.wordgenius.com/14-words-youll-say-differently-depending-on-where-you-are-in-the-u-s/Xr0yWBPAJQAG8w-R?utm_source=blog

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Sep 1

Love When My Followers “Share”! Thanks Diva J

by suddenlysinglewomen

I want to age like sea glass.
Smoothed by tides,
but not broken.
I want my hard edges to soften.
I want to ride the waves
and go with the flow.
I want to catch a wave
and let it carry me
to where I belong.
I want to be picked up
and held gently by
those who delight in my
well earned patina and
appreciate the changes I went
through to achieve that beauty.
I want to enjoy the journey
and always remember that if
you give the ocean something
breakable it will turn it into
something beautiful.
I want to age like sea glass.

~ Bernadette Noll ~

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Aug 14

Will We Ever Be Open To Travel Again?

by suddenlysinglewomen

Several “posts” ago, I shared an article about the difficulty of traveling if you’re “on your own”.  It’s not just an issue for single people, some married ladies (my Mom was one of them) would love to travel but they’re held back by a spouse that does not share the passion for adventure.

I found the article below online through Travel & Leisure and thought it definitely inspiring and encouraging.   Most of their “points” are common sense, but it’s always good to remind ourselves of some of them.

When the world re-opens (“praying hands emoji”), I hope many of us will once again answer the call to “wander” a bit while we’re still “able” to get around.

Thanks for following and as usual, stay safe out there.

 

https://www.travelandleisure.com/trip-ideas/senior-travel/senior-travel-mistakes-to-avoid?did=548994-20200809&utm_campaign=just-in_newsletter&utm_source=travelandleisure.com&utm_medium=email&utm_content=080920&cid=548994&mid=38613043959

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Jul 22

As Travel Opens Up More?

by suddenlysinglewomen

I’ve been wanting to share this, but during the pandemic crisis, and shutdowns for the travel industry, it wasn’t the right time.   Now that things are easing a bit, and people are feeling safer (as a result of going stir crazy no doubt) I am pulling this “share” out to share.

It was an article I read in the AARP magazine that really made me realize I’m not the only one who sees how much it is a “couples world”.   No where is this more obvious than in restaurant dining and travel.  Those two things were really hit hard starting last Spring when the world shut down.

To quote the opening of the article by Christina Ianzito:

“The number of women wanting female-only trips has skyrocketed in recent years, with companies like Damesly, Whoa Travel and Living Big Travel devoted entirely to such excursions.  Other long-standing tour operators including Intrepid Travel and Road Scholar, now provide these kinds of trips in addition to their other ones.

Some women say they’d feel like a fifth wheel being single among a bunch of couples, and that a wonderful camaraderie develops when guys aren’t around.”

For years I’ve had one very special friend who travels alone or with other women friends (looking at you LL!) and has not let being alone hold her adventurous spirit hold her back!  What a fab role model she is to her three adult daughters.  What an inspiration she is to me!

So if wanderlust is knocking on your door, go check out the above companies (also including REI Women’s Adventures) and read up on popular “women-only” getaways!!  Maybe I’ll see you one day soon!!

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Jul 13

Ahhhh – Summertime, Summertime, Sum Sum Summertime!

by suddenlysinglewomen

(hopefully the tune hit your brain, LOL??)

One thing the start of the pandemic, the shutdowns, etc did for many was to help them clear all their “lists” of things to watch on every TV watching service available.

Whether it’s a DVR, a streaming service, a Netflix DVD – we were watching a multitude of things to fill the time.  Back in January it was something happening elsewhere.   Then it hit here.  What do you do when you hunker down?

TV programming!

I jotted down this from one of the many shows I watched, then forgot about it.   I uncovered it the other day and remembered I wanted to share it.   It made me chuckle.   We all need a good chuckle every now and again, right?

Not saying this is how you should approach life, but hey – if the shoe fits . . . . ?

“Not dealing with things is my preferred way of dealing with things”!

Wish I could remember which show I heard it on, I watched so many but there you have it.   Hope it brought a slight chuckle to you today.  (I think the heat is getting to me!)

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