suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Happy New Year Y’all

2024 – How? I can still remember the IT panic of crossing into the next century and now it’s 24 years later? Wow, where did the time go? Much has changed in my life since that New Year’s Eve heading into 2000. I was in Steamboat Springs, CO with my family – ringing in the New Year, pretty confident that my computer was not going to crash or implode but hey, strange things do happen.

Neither of my son’s were married yet, one in college one in high school. I was still married, things had starting going south but I didn’t know it yet. There were still two new houses ahead of me that I didn’t know about yet, there was the promise of my “first” horse when we got back to TX, honestly? The world was looking pretty durn good though my eyes.

A new year always gives us a chance to “look back” as well as “look ahead”. It’s time to re-right a ship that might be listing. It’s time for attitude adjustments to make this year better than last. Learn from our mistakes by not making them again. Get healthier, get happier and learn to enjoy each day. So from my humble laptop to you:

H – Help someone less fortunate than you

A – Always say please and thank you

P – Pick your battles, they say it’s better to win the war

P – Put your own house in order before you criticize others

Y – Yes, bad things happen but you are made of stronger stuff – keep on

N – Never give up your dreams

E – Eat more healthy and be less wasteful with what you buy, prepare and do put on your plate

W – Wellness, focus on taking care of your body and your mind

Y – Yearly assessments of your life, make adjustments – right that listing ship

E – Every day, love yourself

A – Always check in with friends and family, time goes by too fast to put it off

R – Remember, it can start with you

Wishing my followers the best in 2024, thanks for always being my safety net.

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Is Your Life Today What You Pictured A Year Ago?

While messing around on my laptop today, I came across a feature here on WordPress that I had never seen before. A daily writing “prompt”.  Not that I EVER need prompting for sharing my thoughts but this one jumped out at me. So I’m using it for this post.

I believe that we all have thoughts about whether we are where we thought we’d be in our life all the time. If you don’t? Good for you, you must be very happy, very satisfied and living your best life.

I hazard to say that most people do not feel that way. A year ago in my life . . .

  1. I had just bought a new horse and was so looking forward to giving my riding passion five more years. I was “legging back up” to three feet (the height of the jumps) and I’d found the horse to get me there. 
  2. I had finally finished the last of the details of my remodel and could finally sit back and enjoy no more projects.
  3. I had sold my home in Texas and could put that maintenance behind me.
  4. I had readied myself to buy a new car and knew exactly what I wanted. The age of the current car was creeping up so it was time.
  5. I was working out and felt in really good shape.
  6. Winter here in the mountains was settling in and I was looking forward to all those sunny and blue sky days that the Vail Valley is known for.
  7. Good friends were coming to visit at some point during some part of the winter, after the new year, and we’d snowshoe, fix chili and enjoy evenings around the fireplace. Or they were joining me in June for my big birthday celebration that we’d been planning for three years. I believe in giving plenty of notice, ha ha.
  8. I was going to get back to needlepointing, and put some projects together in my needlepoint bag and placed them next to that comfy easy chair by the above mentioned fireplace.

So, best laid plans??

  1. The horse came up lame, we noticed that he was not moving comfortably in one direction. We began to assess what could be wrong, and after multiple vet visits and consultations ($$$) he was diagnosed with a suspensory ligament issue in his front left leg. Thus began months of stall rest and zero “turn out”. No riding, no running, no playing, no being “a horse”. He’s currently been moved back to the original trainer who helped me find him and slowly “coming back”. Lucky me, I get to pay board at two places while he’s rehabbing. Stay tuned – – –
  2. Are you ever truly finished with your home? With the remodel finished, some of the workmanship was not really holding up. Thus begins the effort to get sub contractors back out to give you “what you paid for”. There is so much work in this valley that if the quality is not what you paid for, they do not care – because there is always another job waiting for them. It’s slow but I am finding people to come in and help, but paying twice for something is not really the way it’s supposed to be . . . right?
  3. Yes, the home sale did go through, even tho’ I had reduced the price after putting more money into fixing most of their demands. Note to self: do not go back by to look at it because they are not keeping it up like you did. They did not repair the things they demanded you pay for, and the most beautiful home on the block now looks like the least maintained.
  4. The Toyota engineers, in all their wisdom, totally redesigned the third row fold down seats and did away with their retractable rear window in the model I was going to buy – the same one I currently owned. Don’t we all buy cars according to our pet’s needs??? Thus began the search for a new car manufacturer with an SUV model that met my needs. It turned into “find a model that fits MOST of your needs” because there was not one model out there that met all my requirements. (Maybe I should switch from German Shepherds who love to hang their heads out the back, to chihuahuas??  NAH!!)
  5. I found out where the meniscus was in my knee, I had back surgery in May for a bulging disc between L5 and S1 and in the Fall fractured my 5th metacarpal on my right hand. I am a frequent flyer at the orthopedic docs office up here. Needless to say my workout class and Pilates class were put on hiatus.  
  6. It was the longest, coldest and grayest winter that the locals could remember in 30 years. Do I have good timing or what???
  7. One friend came to visit last winter. So many excuses. Most people bailed on the June trip. So many excuses.  ’Nuff said.
  8. Yes, that needlepoint bag that was full of the canvases and threads sitting next to the comfy chair by the fireplace?? It’s still there, and if you were to pick it up, my guess is that the floor beneath it is clean and dust free, ha ha. Nope, didn’t get to it. 

I wasn’t unrealistic, but perhaps I was too optimistic? 

So this year, I did get all my Christmas cards and shopping/wrapping done early – maybe that is what I was doing instead of needlepointing.

I am going down to the Denver area tomorrow to check on my horse and if all goes well, get to ride him a bit. No jumping yet, but I’m hopeful I’ll move him back up here in a couple of months.

As I sit here and type this, the sky is amazingly blue and the sun is shining and it’s going to be 42 for the high today – a year ago is was 1 (I know this because of my FaceBook memory that popped up).

I’m now the proud owner of a new Defender, and though it is smaller in the back for the dogs, they are learning and negotiating their space when they lay down. No, the window doesn’t go down, none of the SUVs have windows that go down anymore, but we’re making due.

I am finally (no jinx here) all put back together with no upcoming visits to an orthopedic office, no physical therapy, no braces or casts (have I mentioned how great Tylenol Arthritis is? Thanks Diva J) or contraptions.

The friends who really matter? I know who you are now. Many thanks for not abandoning me. I hope to never disappoint you. And if you don’t really wanna snowshoe when you visit? I’m OK with quality fireplace time. ; -)

I’ve had 7 friends lose their husbands this year, some expected, some not. They got it right when they married, true love matches, and I hope I can be there for them when they need. My loss of a marriage certainly not the same caliber of pain that they are going through. My aloneness is trivial compared to theirs.  

I’ll probably not write again till after Christmas, since I’m sure I’ll be busy getting all those needlepoint projects done for NEXT Christmas (or not) but please enjoy your family and friends during this holiday season and remember that it’s OK if you’re not really where you thought you’d be a year ago. Sometimes we are actually exactly where we are meant to be. One year older and one year wiser.

Holiday Hugs to you all.

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They Say You Can Never Go Home Again – – –

I suppose it depends on your definition of going home.

The past three years, I’ve spent the month of November back in Texas. (Also the reason there are not many posts here on this site from me during that time) After moving to the mountains of Colorado full time in the summer of ’21, I was told by many that it wouldn’t last. After all, I no longer skied and it’s dang cold here for quite a few months. I didn’t have the friend base or connections that I had enjoyed for 40+ years; I didn’t have all the volunteer connections and opportunities that I had worked on for 30+ years. But I was willing to try and just wear plenty of layers from November through May. And yes, I have been here when it’s snowed on the 4th of July. (eye roll)

I lived in and loved H-Town for most of my life. Born there, raised/reared there, went away to University of Texas for four years but then married there, raised my own family there, worked there, volunteered there, made many friendships there – you name it. I would call Houston “home”.

So is home a physical house? Is home a city you live in or a state of mind?

For many of my Texas friends, home must be where you live because why else do they keep sending me MLS listings for cute small cottages in my old neighborhood, or nearby neighborhoods, to tempt me to come back?

For many, they’ll say you can take the girl outta Texas, but cannot take the Texas outta the girl. That I’ll agree with. I am Texan through and through, and I’m not totally sure – except for maybe New York or California – that there is another state that so totally encompasses a way of living or a way of life.

If home is a state of mind, then that should be you wherever you live. So then why do I continue to go back as often as I do? There is a perfect blend of things that I love that happen in November that justifies my returning. I attend and volunteered at the Houston Ballet Nutcracker Market for so many years that it is a part of my persona. I love Thanksgiving, and the kickoff of the holiday season and doing that with family and extended family is so fun. Of course, there’s Longhorn football – win or lose, I have season tickets and go to the home games and proudly wear the burnt orange. I catch up with friends, lunches and dinners. I attend a few annual fundraisers of causes near and dear to my heart.

And then there are the annual doctor checkups that I’ll schedule, because breaking into the healthcare system in a mountain resort area is challenging at best. Walgreen’s cannot even hire a full time pharmacist because it costs too much for them to live here and the doctors in practice here are no longer taking new patients (and certainly not ones on medicare – UGH!) Lucky for me I’m pretty healthy here and if something happens, well, that’s what Urgent Care and “Doc in a Box” is for – right?? HA! Seriously . . .

Maybe home is a blend of all three – house, location and emotional attachment. Think I’ll just have to canoodle on that a bit more. In the meantime, have a wonderful December, don’t get any paper cuts from all the gift wrapping, remember to smile and treat people with kindness, especially be nice to postal workers and delivery drivers because who would want THEIR jobs at this time of the year.

Enjoy your home, wherever you are – you’re all awesome and so important to me.

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Happy Thanksgiving To My Village

I am thankful for you all.

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When Push Comes To Shove ?

Lots of conflicting emotions currently.

Tonight, I, along with my #2 son and wife, watched the first episode of the final season of “The Crown”. I’m currently staying with them and my grands in H-Town for a month. Enjoying my grandkids goes without saying, but sometimes you do miss your space – since I’ve been in my own space now for so long.

I was excited to start watching The Crown, but have to admit that the season starts off with “Charles” wanting the “people” to accept “Camilla” and for someone that’s been through that – I am NOT rooting for her. Truthfully, feels a bit weird watching it with my son and daughter n’law because as a product of a failed marriage due to adultery, I am not going to come down on the side of whiny Charles being upset that “Mommy” didn’t attend the big birthday bash he threw for “her” – Camilla.

I got a bit squirmy. But when “push comes to shove”?? Adultery?? Nope – not ever gonna think you can white wash it and it’s justified. Sorry, not sorry.

Just had to get it “out” tonight before turning off the light and trying to go to sleep (while remembering what it felt like to be cheated on). In this Netflix show, we all know what’s coming, but doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.

In the end, we all need to be true to each other. Thanks for always being so patient with me.

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If Only … Sage Advice

( borrowed from social media )

When Parents Grow Old!

Let them grow old with the same love that they let you grow… Let them speak and tell repeated stories with the same patience and interest that they heard yours as a child… Let them overcome, like so many times when they let you win… Let them enjoy their friends just as they let you… Let them enjoy the talks with their grandchildren, because they see you in them… Let them enjoy living among the objects that have accompanied them for a long time, because they suffer when they feel that you tear pieces of this life away… Let them be wrong, like so many times you have been wrong and they didn’t embarrass you by correcting you…

LET THEM LIVE and try to make them happy the last stretch of the path they have left to go; give them your hand, just like they gave you their hand when you started your path!

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Turn The Page, Flip The Script – – –

And just let it go!

Great message I listened to yesterday. Really sunk in, thoughts you know you should listen to, but this time it was all in the presentation! Maybe it was the low pressure environment? Maybe it was the lack of a person’s advice making me feel guilty? Maybe it was actually the person that delivered the message? Maybe I was just ready to hear it?

As we get older (and wiser?) we begin to realize that the comfort zone in which we grew up in, or the life as we knew it until a life altering event happened, is no longer our reality. The ol’ “go with the flow” is a really hard thing to do when the rug has been pulled out from under you.

Feelings are hurt, you’re angry and resentful, and you wonder WHY? What did I do to deserve this?

Family dynamics change, friends disappear, relationships that you thought were forever, fade away. I’m the type person that works really hard to maintain the status quo, fix what’s not working. There’s a phrase I love: Preventative Maintenance! I’d much rather prevent the repair, than have the repair. Make sense?

But – I’m starting to understand that you can do all that you can do to “prevent” and still things break, and yes, I’m talking about people now, more than things. You can alter your thoughts and actions to please others, lower your expectations and still they’re not going to be happy, or give one flip about your happiness, your level of comfort.

The message I listened to yesterday was part of a series called “Peter Pan and Tinkerbell” – never growing up, never taking responsibility and only living in a world of pleasing themselves. It’s a societal problem and I have no idea how to fix it, how to repair it. The preventative maintenance should have been done years ago when we started letting people get by with things, not holding them accountable for their actions.

I’m kinda tired of trying. I’ve been disappointed for the last time. Think I’m gonna give it a rest and turn the page, flip the script and just (can you hear the Idina Menzel song from Frozen here?) LET IT GO!!

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When Things Make Sense – – –

Happy!! Isn’t that what we all strive to be? I am surrounded by people that make me happy, I do that on purpose. It’s not worth it to be around people who are negative and try to bring you down. I know it’s hard to let go sometimes, especially when some of those people have been in your life for many, many years. It’s about positive energy, it’s about people who feel good about themselves, it’s in their aura.

I just had three awesome weeks with my sons, daughter in-laws and the “grands” (plus two extra dogs!) here at my house and we had a blast. Keeping it real – that’s the key. Those people out there who are self serving, and try to bring you down with insults and lies to further their needs? See ya – take a hike.

I know who my people are, I know who is real – I cherish your “real” and appreciate you. Have a great week everyone!!

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A Memory Remembered – – –

While sitting in church yesterday, the pastor was reflecting on what “worrying” does for you. I had a total flashback to my Dad in my younger years. As an “elder” now, I can look back and understand things so much clearer now. Wouldn’t it be grand if we were born with that wisdom and had it as a young person?

My Dad was a worrier. When he “worried”, (and for him it was an active verb) we all worried. Now I can understand how a man born in 1911, growing up during the Depression, serving in WWII and Korea had things to worry about. Yet somehow we were always alright. He was an amazing human, a good provider, a devout Christian man who gave generously of himself and his resources. We did not live lavishly but as my Mother would say, “We never wanted for anything”.

When the pastor yesterday likened worrying to sitting in a rocking chair, it reminded me of those years gone by. You see, you can rock all day, but it doesn’t get you anywhere. Neither does worrying. As I age I realize just how much like my Dad I am. I realize that I too am a worrier.

When I got divorced, I worried that I would not make it on my own. I had never been allowed to be part of any decision making when it came to finances or the future of our family. Yet somehow, now that it’s been almost 17 years since he moved out – I’m doing just fine. I surprised myself, my sons and most likely most of my friends.

So that rocking chair? I’m going to use it to admire the blooming flowers in my front garden, watch my two rescue GSDs frolic and chase squirrels, and sip on something cool and refreshing. Worrying, it doesn’t get you anywhere.

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I So Needed This Today – – –

Soooooooooo – have you ever set on an HOA Board????? ‘Nuff said!!!

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