Becoming the best version of yourself

Web Dating – You’re Not In Kansas Anymore Dorothy!

on March 26, 2014
I know I have some married friends out there following my blog – I have two words for you . . . “stay married”, LOL!
Ok, Ok, I know – if you’re seriously unhappy or were married to an adulterer like I was then yes, it’s not worth it BUT – egad, this dating world is not for the faint of heart.
So to catch you up on my journey back into the dating via the web world:
1)  First “M&G” (meet and greet – because you and I don’t seem to rate a meal anymore?) was with “Berkley” – because that’s where he attended college and loves the “radical” persona.  We sat at a bar and ordered ice tea (note to self, follow their lead OR get there first an order tea just to be safe).  We chatted for two hours, he had to leave for a pre-arranged meeting with a manager of his business but said he really would’ve loved to have continued this over dinner.  He said we would meet again soon, he drives off.  I never hear from him again, but he just sent a “like” via the dating website that I seemed like a person he’d like to meet.    Uh . . . . we already have met dingbat!
2)  Second M&G – an older gentleman “Retired” who meets me for lunch after church.  He shows me photos of all the guest bedrooms in his country home.  You’ve heard of young people with an “old soul”?  This was an “old soul” in an “old person”.  Every move he made screamed “tired”.  Very polite but I think he knew that I was a bit too active for him, we never even exchanged contact info.
3)  Third M&G – this one offers to meet for dinner then allows me to pick the place.  We have a phone conversation before hand so a bit more “personal” then the internet.  I pick my favorite TexMex place, not expensive and very casual.  He arrives on time, we sit at the bar first (I arrive first and order a margarita AND pay for it – learning to make no assumptions here!!)  He doesn’t drink but has no problem with people who do.  He gave it up after a partying college career, likes to keep in top form for tennis.  Waitress offers to seat us for dinner, he agrees (whew!) and 3 1/2 hours later we’ve closed down the restaurant.  He asks if I like to dance, I eagerly say yes but that it’s been a while and I’m rusty.  He walks me to my car, smiles and says he’s great at knocking the rust off.  Sounding promising right??  Other than a couple of emails through the dating website talking about how busy he is, there’s been nothing more – no offers for dancing.  I must’ve double faulted somehow?
4)  Fourth M&G – We talk on the phone, we set up a meeting.  He suggests a restaurant near to both of us for a Tuesday evening at 7:00.  Kinda implies dinner to me . . . but I would be wrong.  I arrive, he’s already there.  He’s sitting in a booth with nothing.  This is a casual place where you go up to the counter to order.  He stands up, we introduce ourselves.  He’s still standing, I slide into the other side of the booth finally and say, “should we get something?”  He continues to stand and says he’s getting some ice water . . . warning bells go off in my head.  I smile and say that they have great lemonade here (as I gaze longingly at the bar full of wine bottles).  He continues to stand, I continue to sit, seriously is he waiting for me to get up and pay for my own lemonade??  He finally wanders off to the counter and asks for his FREE water and gets a glass for my lemonade.  He fills it up and comes back.  No offers of refills and zilch of a spark but hey, I was raised to be polite so I was.  After an hour I say I need to get home so he walks me to my car.  I mumble something about getting something to eat and letting out the dogs.  Next day I decide to be proactive and send a message thanking him for my lemonade, said I thought we were sharing a meal and was sorry I’d misunderstood.  Told him I didn’t feel any connection but wished him well in his search and to have fun on his upcoming family vacay!!  I immediately get a reply back that says, “Wow, reading your email and wondering what happened to the woman I met last night?  No connection?  That’s not what your body language was saying!”
SIGH!!!!  So much for being polite for a glass of lemonade . . .
5)  Fifth M&G – The “Sailor”.  We talk on the phone first, he seems really nice.  He picks a restaurant, we meet.  He arrives right on time.  I’m perched in the bar waiting – I’ve decided I want to be the one “on the look out” instead of vice versa.  Nothing screams “blind date” more than walking into a bar or restaurant alone and having to scan for someone who looks like a photo on a dating website that is 10-20 years old (the photo, not the date)!!  He arrives in a new Suburban – Love it!!  He had told me the night before what he would be dressed in – this is a man with a plan – Love it!!  We gab and gab.  He orders wine (whew!).  A woman passes out while walking by, he jumps up to help.  Later find out he’s a trained EMT and he stays with her till paramedics arrive – gallant – Love it!!  We leave and we’re the last two cars in Valet Parking.  He’s leaving the next day for Miami and sail boat racing but texts me while he’s gone.  This is looking good, right?  Enter radio silence.  Nothing from him since Saturday night and it’s now Wednesday.  No text, no call, no email through the website.  Has he sailed off into the sunset?
6)  Sixth potential M&G.  This one likes my profile, I like his profile.  He emails and gives me his name and cell number.  Says he’ll call on Sunday.  I wait, no call.  There is a late night text but by the time I get it, it’s too late to return.  Monday morning I find an email.  Says he’s re-read my profile and has found a serious bone of contention and feels he will not be able to meet me after all.  Horses!  Horses?  I’ve been dropped already and you haven’t even met me??  This is the all time new low.  That was until . . .
7)  This one was so tacky I had to cut and paste it here just so you could enjoy it.  The subject line cuts off in the website but I think after you read it you’ll get the drift.  Just for clarification, I did NOT reach out to this person, this was sent to me unsolicited.  I had not even read his profile as he’s a bit younger than me so it had not even popped up in the search category.
“Subject: Re: Wow all you hav

wow all you have is pictures of your family dogs ,horses, babies, and group pictures of your friends.Just so you know; Men want to see just you—they could care less about seeing dogs and horses and all that junk— it totally turned me away. (I know being honest will piss you off–but someone should tell you)”


Yep – Netfilx is still looking REALLY good . . .



3 responses to “Web Dating – You’re Not In Kansas Anymore Dorothy!

  1. LB says:

    I agree with both ladies – the old saying ‘ you gotta kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince.’ Hang in there, you are a great person.

  2. Kathy says:

    I agree with Janice! Hang in there. Besides, it makes for great blog reading! Love that you will always have your great sense of humor.

  3. janice webb says:

    So glad to hear you are getting out there! Netflix may be winning right now, but keep kissing those frogs. Best of luck to you!

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