Becoming the best version of yourself

Dating after Divorce

on March 4, 2012

Does using the word “dating” at this age sound as creepy and archaic to you as it does to me??  To me, we need to come up with another term for what it is we’re doing.  Isn’t what we’re doing really “investigating” the possibility that we might find another person in this life to “make” a life with?

I used to believe in true love.  I used to believe in happily ever after.  I used to believe that wedding vows meant something.  I used to believe that my “dating” life was way over and done, had been for over thirty years.  I was wrong.  Now I’m divorced and wondering if I’ll ever be “in love” again.  Having been married to a serial adulterer, will I ever be able to trust a man again?  So many questions, so many doubts.

On top of the dating questions I have, now I have to also worry about diseases that didn’t exist in my world when last I dated.  I’m no spring chicken, but I’d like to believe that I could find some age appropriate men to date, to spend a pleasant evening with.  How sad that many of those age appropriate men are shopping “younger” – as my ex did.  They say your friends will be able to introduce you to eligible bachelors – but somehow my friends don’t seem to know any single men.  That leaves you with online dating services.  OMG – filling out profiles?  And don’t even waste your time with putting your parameters in place, no one pays attention to them.

Let’s suppose you do happen to find a date to spend some time with.  How many dates before his expectations of much more personal time spent together comes up?  Do we really have to think about being intimate with a stranger?  None of us have 20 year old bodies anymore, the thought of intimacy again can tie your stomach in knots and sends cold shivers down your spine.

Lastly, the men I’ve met recently redefine the phrase “emotionally unavailable”.  Fifty + year old men reliving their college frat boy party lives.  They’re tasting what they consider their “freedom” for the first time in twenty or thirty years and run at the first sign of stars in your eyes.  They use the word “love” cavalierly, promise to call you then disappear from your life and your call log for six months.  Seriously?

Netflix is looking pretty good right about now . . .


3 responses to “Dating after Divorce

  1. Jinx Chiles says:

    Exactly the same for all of us.. Jinx Chiles

  2. Kathy Jensen says:

    This is so well done! AWESOME job! Keep up the great work. Women need you!!

  3. Jane Brennan-Martin says:


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