suddenlysinglewomen

Surviving the unwanted divorce

Lesson #3

on January 13, 2016

Life is too short to waste time hating someone.”

You hear this one all the time, but boy is it hard to accomplish, especially if that someone is an ex husband who really hurt you.

I have a friend from my Divorce Recovery Group who says it this way, “Don’t give him free rent in your brain” – gotta love it!

But this statement can be about anyone whom you feel has wronged you in any way, at any time.  It’s really really hard to let go of that anger at times, especially when you see them move on so easily with their life with a smile on their face and with a much younger woman.  Or you see a friend you were really close to just walk away from your friendship as if you never mattered in the least.  Or you have a family member lie about you, take advantage of you, ignore your relationship.

The experts will tell you that the only person you are hurting with your hatred is yourself.  The other person could care less that you no longer have positive happy thoughts about them – they’re “outta there” – they have moved on without so much as an “oops, sorry, didn’t mean it”.

I can remember the first time I saw the ex with Mrs. ex and my blood turned to ice, my heart started thumping so hard I thought it surely was visible on the outside of my body.  My ears rang and my face flushed.  That was anger welling up in side me and it was all I could do to keep it there.

You soon realize that it doesn’t bother him or anyone else the way it bothers you.  Is the person who did you wrong worth wrecking your health and emotional well being over?  NO!   You need to just “Fuhgeddaboutit” or however they say it in the “Sopranos”.

Don’t waste your time thinking those darks thoughts; don’t waste your time on those hurtful people again.  Don’t give them free rent in your brain – they are SOOOOOOO not worth it.  Dig deep for that smile and start wearing it, you’ll look and feel so much better  (and get way fewer frown wrinkles) when you do.

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4 responses to “Lesson #3

  1. Alicia Peck says:

    I agree! Don’t give them anymore of your energy! xo

  2. pilateskathy says:

    Dr. Robin Smith once said, “The definition of Expectations is premeditated resentment!” I’ve had that on my refrigerator ever since I heard it. And my mentor many years ago told me, “Never let anyone take your sparkle!” All great advice to live by.

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