suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Dec 30

Help To Get You Happy – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

Whether you’re male or female, divorced or not, we all want to be able to start our day on a positive note.  If we don’t, it never seems to get better as the day trudges along.  I hope these things I find and share don’t make you wonder if I’ve tired of writing original ideas.  Not true at all.  But when I see things that resonate, I like to share.

You haven’t gotten rid of my ideas and thoughts yet.  : -)   Hopefully this link will help you along to a happier day, especially at this crazy time of the year end!  Wishing you ALL happy days ahead in 2013.

9 Daily Habits That Will Make You Happier

smallbusiness.yahoo.com

These minor changes in your daily routine will make a major difference in your life and career.(See more articles »)

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Dec 13

What We Have In Common With College Graduates?

by suddenlysinglewomen

Nothing you might say.  But as I was reading this article the other day it struck me just how many of these things we do have in common with a college graduate. They’re leaving the sanctuary of “school”, we’re leaving the sanctuary of a “marriage”.  Both places give you a feeling of security, that you’ll be taken care of, that you know what the next day might bring and what you need to do to get through it.

Then the cold cruel world – aka “reality” – sets in.  It’s a jumping off point for a new beginning, and not always easy.  As a matter of fact, it’s just downright difficult.  You graduate thinking that you understand the world, and know what’s out there.  You have a plan.  You’re smart, you’re accomplished and you have alot to offer.  You’re also one in a million, and I don’t mean that in the positive sense.

They’re entering (or trying to) the work force, you’re entering the life of a single person, but you’re training just doesn’t quite prepare you for the reality.  No one else thinks you’re quite as special as you think you are.

The article calls it a “quarter life crisis”, so what do we call it for ourselves when we divorce after 20, 25, 30 years of marriage.  Is this our “three quarter life crisis”?  Whatever you choose to call it, you didn’t ask for it but you are going to have to see it through.  Sometimes you just don’t get to vote when dealing with how other’s treat you, but you do get to vote on what YOU do about it.  Keep that head up!

http://houston.culturemap.com/newsdetail/12-02-12-the-graduate-a-millennial-copes-with-his-quarter-life-crisis/?utm_source=CultureMap+Houston+Daily+Digest&utm_campaign=96023ef7b5-Daily_Digest_Houston_2012_12_03&utm_medium=email

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Nov 15

Keeping Ourselves Healthy AND Happy – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen
Many times I get forwarded things from friends that just strike a chord and resonate with me.  Whether or not the below is an actual fact and was presented in a University class is irrelevant to me.  What matters most is the message, and nothing could be more true than the importance of GF’s!!  So enjoy and take time to think of all the wonderful women who have made a difference in your life.  Wishing you all great happiness and health today!
Female Relationships

They Teach It at Stanford


In an evening class at Stanford the last lecture was on the mind-body connection – the relationship between stress and disease. The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends. At first everyone laughed, but he was serious.

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences.

Physically this quality “girlfriend time” helps us to create more serotonin – a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being. Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going. Jobs? Yes. Sports? Yes. Cars? Yes. Fishing, hunting, golf? Yes. But their feelings? Rarely.

Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters/mothers, and evidently that is very good for our health. He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym.


There’s a tendency to think that when we are “exercising” we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged, not true.

In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking! So every time you hang out to schmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health!
We are indeed very, very lucky. Sooooo, let’s toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it’s very good for our health.

Forward this to all your girlfriends and stay in touch!

Thanks to all the girls/ ladies in my life who have helped me stay healthy, happy, and feeling very loved.

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Girlfriends Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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Nov 5

If You Need a Bit of Levity – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

This was forwarded to me the other day by a single friend.  Many days we wonder if trying to have a man in our lives is worth it after all this time.  No matter your opinion, hopefully this will bring a smile to your face and some levity to your day!!  Enjoy:

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free. Here’s an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.1. Men are like Laxatives.
They irritate the crap out of you.
2 Men are likeBananas .
The older they get, the less firm they are.
3.Men are like Weather .
Nothing can be done to change them.
4.Men are like Blenders.
You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars …
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials .
You can’t believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores…
Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8.Men are like . Government Bonds ….
They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .. Mascara .
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10.Men are like Popcorn .
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .
You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get
or how long it will last.
12! . Men are likeLava Lamps .
Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots.
All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Oct 29

Let’s Try This Again – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

It said I could cross post if I copied so I did but have heard that it did not come thru.  This time I copied the “URL” (I think that’s what it’s called??) so hopefully the “Ten Quotes” will come up from the link below!!  So sorry – I’m a WIP – (work in progress)!!

 

 

http://houston.culturemap.com/newsdetail/10-28-12-06-26-on-the-road-to-success-positive-change-10-best-quotes-from-the-texas-conference-for-women/

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Oct 29

Women Helping Women – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

Sharing here a wonderful article I read this morning, sharing quotes from a conference for women.  Some of the quotes are strong, some are humorous, but all ring true at various times in our lives.  Hope you enjoy them as much as I did, even if only a couple ring true for you!!  Have  a great week all!!

P.S.  Up to 40 blog followers – thanks to all of you who have “passed me along” to others!!

<div id=’cm_iframe’></div><script type=’text/javascript’ src=’http://houston.culturemap.com/news/republish.js?slug=10-28-12-06-26-on-the-road-to-success-positive-change-10-best-quotes-from-the-texas-conference-for-women&width=640&theme=light’></script&gt;

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Oct 26

Finding Your Lighthouse Beacon – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

Stormy seas, rocky shores, waves crashing,  black skies and starless nights – such calamities awaited sailors before there were lighthouses built to guide them safely into port.  Some days I feel like the only things out there facing me are stormy seas that I cannot see how to navigate through.  I search for my lighthouse beacon and I cannot seem to locate it.  Do you ever have days and nights like that?

I’ll get frustrated and rant and rave in my brain because I do not understand why such bad things happen to a good person.  I am a good person, I do the right thing even when it causes me pain.  I live and play by the rules because I think those rules are there for a reason.  Yep, I am a rule follower.  If it says “No Left Turn”, then I drive out of my way to turn left where there IS a left turn allowed.  If I know I’m exiting the freeway in a mile, I’ll go ahead and move over to the right in preparation.  I do NOT cut in at the last minute.

“Why do bad things happen to good people?”  I’ve heard that expression my entire life and have never heard an answer to it.  My friends have lost their husbands, really good and loving men, to cancer and I wonder why?  I look around and see men my age leaving their beautiful wives, women my age, for younger models and I wonder why?  Last year my city was heartbroken when three young children were left as orphans when both their parents were killed in an automobile collision coming home from a family vacation and we were left to wonder why?  What had these children done to deserve this?

The answer?  Absolutely nothing.  Sometimes there are no clear cut answers to why things happen.  We can totally drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out the “why” when there really isn’t an answer.  I believe in a higher being, and I have to believe that he/she knows the “why” and it just hasn’t become clear to me yet.  That higher being has to be my lighthouse beacon in the dark, helping me to find a safe port in any storm that life may throw at me.  I believe I would call that having “faith” that I can get through anything that’s thrown at me.

So I will continue to follow the rules, and I will still always try to do the right thing because it brings a certain stability to my life that I need.  But fair warning, if you try to cut me off at the last minute to make your exit and you haven’t waited your turn in line, I just may not let you in – – – just sayin’!

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Oct 18

Life As A Puzzle Piece – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

I have many friends who enjoy puzzles, especially those with second homes and busy grandchildren!  I remember doing puzzles as a child, but not so much as an adult – that is until I started visiting those people with second homes and busy grandchildren.  It can become an obsession to get one finished.  Just a few more minutes . . .?

What do they do with the puzzles that have been “done”?  They box them up (hopefully with all pieces included) and give them to the next person, and so on and so on and so on.  Somewhere down that line of “puzzle passing” is yours truly.  A couple of months ago I received about a dozen “done” puzzles from one of those friends.  Never one to turn down a freebie, I gratefully accepted them.

A week later came the Ziploc baggie . . .

with the pieces she had recovered from the carpet under the puzzle table.

She has no clue which puzzle they belong to, or if in fact they belong to the SAME puzzle.  Hmmmm, now that’s “puzzling”!

And you guessed it, I just couldn’t resist making the analogy of the missing puzzles pieces to my “post divorce” life.  I know you’ve felt it too.  Some days you just can’t see how you fit into the giant puzzle of life.  I thought my puzzle was well designed and put together with no missing pieces.  I didn’t see that in reality my life puzzle had pieces that were being lost or removed or put in the wrong places.

People who do a lot of puzzles sometimes use this certain kind of pad on their tables to keep the pieces from sliding off or getting lost.  It literally holds the pieces together – non-skid!  Though I had tried to hold the pieces of my marriage and my life together, my pieces were skidding right off the edge of the table and falling to the carpet below to be picked up at a later date.  Once I got those pieces picked up, I wasn’t sure where they belonged or how they would ever fit together again.

As of today I still haven’t figured out which puzzles those pieces in the Ziploc belong to, and I still haven’t figured out where some of those missing puzzles pieces of my life belong – I still need . . . “just a few more minutes!”

Women's Lives after Divorce

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Sep 30

The Optimist Creed – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

I belong to a wonderful “DRG” – that’s “Divorce Recovery Group”!  I’ve recommended before to find people who have been through what you’ve been through, women that “get it”, to help you in your healing journey.  You never know what to expect from this group, some weeks we laugh, some we cry, but we all leave feeling better for having shared.   It was at one of our weekly get togethers that I received this handout.  It’s the Creed of Optimist International.  It’s a Promise that I have made myself, and I hope that you will too.  Here goes:

Promise Yourself

  • To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
  • To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
  • To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
  • To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
  • To think only of the best.
  • To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
  • To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
  • To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
  • To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others
  • To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

It’s a lot to tackle all at once, so maybe try a new one every week?  Maybe you just focus on one?  Maybe you make your own promise to yourself?  Regardless, we can all try to be more optimistic in our lives.  We might even surprise ourselves!

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Sep 21

Dealing With the UnExpected – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

There are a lot of things I expect in my life.  I expect to wake up every morning.  I expect to walk the dogs since they’ve let me sleep through the night.  I expect that there are bills to be paid, errands to be run, calls and emails to return – you get the picture.  I’m one of those people who does what’s “expected” of me.  I was brought up that way.  I can handle what is expected.

However, how you deal with the “un”expected really shows the world what you are made of.  What do you do when something “un”expected is thrown your direction?  Do you panic?  Do you scream?  Do you deal with it?  Do you have your very own little motivational angel that sits on your shoulder whispering in your ear that you “can do it”?

Life is full of those unexpected challenges sent your way just to test your mettle.  Like it or not, dealing with the unexpected should be an expected part of your life.  Sometimes the unexpected ends up being a good thing, like looking down and finding a quarter laying on the ground in the parking lot, or finding a crumpled five dollar bill in your coat pocket from last winter, or receiving a voice mail from a friend you haven’t seen in years – I could go on.

The unexpected isn’t always a bad thing.  It can be good, and how we rise to the occasion can define us as a person.  Yes, it can also create chaos and knock us off our feet when we don’t see it coming.  I recently read an article in a paper, The Vail Daily, written by a life coach and motivational speaker, Michael Norton.  This is what he said:

   “So go ahead and expect the unexpected, be prepared or unprepared, life is going to come at us whether we want it to or not.  And what will matter and define us is how we choose at that moment to respond to the unexpected happenings in our life, good of bad.”

Being a divorced woman was unexpected.  The possibility of spending the rest of my life as a single woman is beginning to be expected.  Expected or unexpected, I’ve decided to “go with the flow”, “roll with the punches” and “what will be will be”.  As my father used to say, “C’est la vie” – that’s life.

Divorce Recovery Fresh Starts Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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