suddenlysinglewomen

A funny thing happened to me the other day when I was answering an email message by using my iPhone.  Trying to be quick and “21st” century I abbreviated some of the words.  Never assume your abbreviation is read the way you meant it!

In answering a comment about “moving on” from the hurt of divorce and into my new life as a single I remarked that I thought I was still “bttr”, even tho’ there had been some things that had recently irritated me!!  I intended that “bttr” to be read as “better”!   Imagine my surprise when my gal pal fired back a “msg” to me (ok couldn’t resist – that’s “message”) that she didn’t understand why I was still “bitter”?  A bit of a lecture ensued.

I read her reply and went, “. . . huh? . . .”   I had to go back to see if my fat fingers had hit the wrong key?  (I do miss the raised keys of a Blackberry, I never made typing mistakes on the Blackberry!)  I know that when I get going really fast on the iPhone that many times I can hit the wrong letter key because the pads of my thumbs are seemingly too wide for the letters.

How many times have I sent a message where I meant to type “list” and instead sent out the word “lust” since the “u” and “i” are side by side.  I’m sure that’s made for some interesting interpretations of my message!!  But, back to the story . . .

When I scanned my reply, I realized that she had misread the abbreviation.  I clarified, all’s well!  But it does make you think.  Is being bitter ever better?  Do you have to go through a bit of bitter before you can get better?  Yes – plain and simple, it’s natural.  I believe bitter can be better when it drives you to heal and get past the pain, the anguish, the grief of a married life that’s lost and motivates you to realize that you are an OK person without that man in your life.

I also believe that it’s never better to hold onto the bitter, because the only person you’re hurting is yourself and those closest to you who only want to help you get to a better place.  That’s why my sweet friend fired back at me a little lecture, because she wants only the best for me, and to see me through to a better place.  My bitter is getting better every day!  So shall yours if you’ll let it – so start today and be better!

I was sent this post and had a fun time looking it over.  While many of the things on there I agree with, some of them I will admit to still doing.  Guess that means I’m not quite as “hip” as my children and their friends are but that’s OK.  In some things they’re not near as “cool” as I am either!!

Look these over and see if you agree.  If nothing else, it’s a fun exercise in reminding ourselves just how far and how fast life has progressed and times have changed.  Have we progressed with the times and the technology or are we stuck in the past?  Is this a tiny bit like getting a divorce yet not moving on?  Enjoy these and take some of them with a grain of salt . . .

But you better NEVER stop writing those “hand-written” thank you notes or my Mother will haunt you for the rest of your natural born life!  Just sayin’ . . .

http://mozy.com/blog/infographics/50-things-we-dont-do-anymore-due-to-technology/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=Newsletter-Home201302&utm_campaign=Newsletters-Home&ref=36b792db

That’s right, it’s been one year since I started this blog and I’m so very grateful for all the support I’ve received during that year.  I know I’m not alone in what I’ve been going through.  I know that I have love and support from others who “get it”.

It was funny, I went back and read the first blog that went out for Valentine’s Day 2012 and things really haven’t changed too terribly much.  It’s another Valentine’s day spent with a TV tray, my DVR and my dogs.  A BFF did send me a beautiful heart-shaped box of chocolates which I have every intention of emptying very soon.  I got to spend time with my new five-week old grand baby – a girl – this morning, a real treat since I’m the mother of sons!  If that doesn’t show you “the real thing”, nothing will.

I’ll stay at home tonight because to go out would just throw me into the middle of “couple-dom” every where you look and I just don’t want to see that on this day about “love”.

So thanks for “following” me and who knows what the next year might bring?

Nope, it really isn’t.  But how do we prevent it when/if we’re alone?  It’s exhausting coming up with ways to entertain yourself other than a TV tray and your DVR!  The need for companionship is paramount in anyone’s life.  Even more so is the need for touch.  So how do we go about making sure we don’t end up alone and lonely every night?

I don’t know about you but I can find things to occupy myself during the day.  If you are a working woman, then your day is beyond full.  If you are not, there are activities out there that you can occupy yourself with whether it’s volunteering, part time work, book clubs, needlework groups, bible studies or church related activities, physical activities such as walking, running or fitness classes.  You can take classes or if you have a particular skill set you can share – teach a class?  It’s almost spring time here, hard to believe since it’s just the first part of February but my trees are budding so how about a gardening project?

Oh, . . . but the nights . . .

Those are the toughest for me.  GF’s suggest meeting for lunch, but then those same GF’s go home to their husbands at night and suddenly they forget that there’s another meal of the day that you might enjoy sharing with people (rather than your dogs!)  We’ve talked about this before, it’s a couple’s world and most especially at night – couples go out with couples.  Why is that?  What are they afraid of?  Or do they just not even think about it?

So what do you do to fill your time?  How do you escape your loneliness?  Would love to hear from you.  In the meantime, I share a link below that talks about emotional wellness because keeping our spirit happy and healthy is just as important as our physical well being.  May all our spirits rise this week!

//www.definebody.com/living/live-to-be-inspired-and-be-inspired-to-live/feed/

Nothing you might say.  But as I was reading this article the other day it struck me just how many of these things we do have in common with a college graduate. They’re leaving the sanctuary of “school”, we’re leaving the sanctuary of a “marriage”.  Both places give you a feeling of security, that you’ll be taken care of, that you know what the next day might bring and what you need to do to get through it.

Then the cold cruel world – aka “reality” – sets in.  It’s a jumping off point for a new beginning, and not always easy.  As a matter of fact, it’s just downright difficult.  You graduate thinking that you understand the world, and know what’s out there.  You have a plan.  You’re smart, you’re accomplished and you have alot to offer.  You’re also one in a million, and I don’t mean that in the positive sense.

They’re entering (or trying to) the work force, you’re entering the life of a single person, but you’re training just doesn’t quite prepare you for the reality.  No one else thinks you’re quite as special as you think you are.

The article calls it a “quarter life crisis”, so what do we call it for ourselves when we divorce after 20, 25, 30 years of marriage.  Is this our “three quarter life crisis”?  Whatever you choose to call it, you didn’t ask for it but you are going to have to see it through.  Sometimes you just don’t get to vote when dealing with how other’s treat you, but you do get to vote on what YOU do about it.  Keep that head up!

http://houston.culturemap.com/newsdetail/12-02-12-the-graduate-a-millennial-copes-with-his-quarter-life-crisis/?utm_source=CultureMap+Houston+Daily+Digest&utm_campaign=96023ef7b5-Daily_Digest_Houston_2012_12_03&utm_medium=email