http://tinybuddha.com/blog/6-tips-help-free-yourself-from-fearful-thoughts/
Negative thoughts, how they seep into your consciousness and never let go. Happens to me all the time and I hate it. It’s like my mind is trying to run away from them and they keep following.
Kinda like when my very large dog (therefore a large collar and tags ring) leans over the pulled out bottom tray of the dishwasher, stacked full of heavy dishes, sniffs those dishes then backs up quickly when I fuss at him. Of course his collar’s tag ring has now hooked on that lower tray, and as he backs up it follows him. His response to the frightening thing following him???? Of course the response is to back away even faster – not realizing of course that he’s hooked to it and it’s GOING to follow him. Chaos and flying dishes everywhere.
I’ve wondered for years how you get those negative thoughts to quit following you like they are hooked to your brain. Everywhere you go, they go. The faster I try to escape them, the faster they follow me – in my head, swirling around in that fog that is my brain. Like the dog pulling away and the dishes flying and breaking he doesn’t understand that if he would just STOP, and chill – I could unhook him and stop the carnage. But how do we stop – and chill?
Some chill with medications, as the author said in the above link – he tried it then decided to go a different direction. I’ve also tried the anti-anxiety med route, but it’s a mask and your situation hasn’t changed – it’s just been dulled. Many chill with alcohol – again, just a bandaid that eventually is going to pull off and you’re still faced with the same issues, they don’t disappear with a good (or bad) bottle of wine. People will compensate for the pain by over working, working their bodies to exhaustion, anything but coming to terms with the negative.
I hope and pray that in the New Year, we can find a way to let GO of those negative and fearful thoughts. Not by masking them but by finding a way to let them go. Like a winter snow melts away in the warmth and sunshine of a new spring, may we all find a way to let the negativity in our minds and in our hearts release it’s hold on us . . . and just melt away.
suddenlysinglewomen 
You are right about healing our pain with “bandaids.” ; however, therapist, rehab counselors never address why people are “drinking, taking pills, doing drugs, etc.” they only address the act they are doing that is ruining their life. If they could dig deep into why this person is feeling so miserable…..and give GOOD advise on how to overcome their heartbreak, the persons would not to use their addictions to rid them of their pain. They could work on rebuilding their lives without the heartbreak and hopefully find there can be a life without the loser. Sadly, most therapist address the REAL problem, and then are totally capable of fixing the “addiction.”
Jinx Chiles
Sorry, “sadly the therapist DO NOT address the problem of why an individual is so miserable rather than telling the person to “get off the addiction.”
Jinx Chiles
This is true, but it is exactly like “filling up our days” with whatever we can find to do..to take away the pain that we used to have “REAL” things when we were married. Then come the nights, when we cannot fill them. WE just have to face reality………..this is the way it is….and it not “fun” or what we hoped for. But……we are so lucky in so many other ways that should matter more than losing a loser.
” It is better to lose a lover, than to love a loser.”
Jinx Chiles