Saw this on a Yahoo blog and thought it a good thing to share with the followers! Follow this link!
Or: http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/8216-married-8217-lessons-marriage-learned-divorce-201700898.html
(Assuming I did the link correctly) I thought this article had a lot of very valid points, and things to ponder.
One of the things that was “wrong” in my marriage was me remaining true to myself, being myself, and acting like myself. When we first started dating, I was drawn to my spouse because he was the life of the party. He was outgoing and gregarious and always up for a good time. My prior BF had not been. When my friends saw me with the new “guy”, they teased me about coming out of my shell, of no longer being a wallflower!
What they didn’t know was that in reality I had never been that wallflower, I had only acted like one to make the BF more comfortable. I am, as those of you who know me well, an extrovert. This new guy also seemed to be an extrovert and I thought we would have the times of our young lives together. Enter reality.
After we married and settled into our careers and started to make life choices, imagine my surprise to find that his “outgoing-ness” had just been an act to survive college and the fraternity life. He was happier working alone in an office all day, then coming home and retreating to his desk and work binders. He didn’t want to go out, he didn’t want to have people over. We didn’t take vacations and our social life revolved around his work requirements.
It’s so easy now to look back and realize that we were never that well suited, but at age 22 and 23 what did we know? I was expecting him to be something that he was not comfortable, or able to be. Then again, not to be too hard on myself, he was not the person that he presented to me either.
I will always believe that you should remain true to yourself, it’s just too big a burden to try to be something you are not to fulfill someone else’s expectations. If it means separating, or divorcing, or staying single then so be it. There is nothing wrong with the person that I am, and the same goes for you! Love yourself, be true to yourself, and then just maybe the RIGHT guy might happen along who will love you “just the way you are”!
How true! ! Many women “pretend” they love sports, etc. when dating and then don’t want to go to a game after marriage. The poor guy goes “what happened to the sports loving girl?”. Not my case in that I enjoy sports.
Great blog. Thanks for sharing.
A very good revalation…awakening thoughts…..Now , we can look back and think it really wasn’t meant to be in the first place. Jinx