suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Who You Callin’ Old??

I got a kick outta this article the other day. We’ve all been thinking this for a while now. We’re living longer, and feeling younger. At least I hope you are?

Of course it takes a “study” of some kind to prove what we’ve known for a while now. Being active, thinking young, and surrounding yourself with like minded people – all this helps keep us vital both mentally and physically.

Drives my son’s crazy that at my age, I’m still riding horses and on the occasion, jumping them around a course of obstacles. Heck, just climbing up on the back of an 1100 pound animal with attitude is sometimes challenging. But it’s my passion, and my passion just happens to be pretty physically and mentally challenging at times.

Give the article a read and see if you can see yourself in it! Meanwhile, I’m going to get back to researching and planning my next adventure this Fall with friends “of a certain age” who still enjoy crossing an ocean and discovering other countries. After all, we’re not getting any younger . . .

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A Little Light’Heartedness Today!!

Many thanks to my old next-door neighbor, or should I say “former” next-door neighbor (so I don’t make her feel old??) for sharing this with me yesterday!!

Seemed appropriate and did make me giggle to myself. Hope it will give you some light heartedness on the day after tax day (and for those of us in the mountains where it snowed AGAIN – UGH!!)?

Where does it all come from????????

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Book Backlog – – –

I used to love to read, holding a real book, the smell of the paper when you get it new. Sure, years ago I ordered a Kindle – seemed “with it”. Everyone had one, especially for plane travel. Then after a real lack of use, for some unknown reason I upgraded several years ago to the new version “Paper White”. It still sits in the bedside nightstand shelf, dead battery and all. You see, there’s this stack of real books I haven’t gotten to yet.

So a 2024 resolution is to get through some of those books. I’m doing pretty well. Truth be told, as I read some of them, I wonder . . . now why did I buy this?? However, the latest one has charmed me and made me laugh out loud multiple times. It’s been around for a bit, and clearly someone gifted this to me as they know of my love of canines. I present to you: “Lessons From Lucy – The Simple Joys of an Old, Happy Dog”. The author is a familiar name: Dave Barry.

As promised from my last post, this is light hearted and a feel-good share. I do encourage you to read it in it’s entirety, yes – even if on a Kindle, because there were a few times where I laughed so hard that I had tears, but below I share it’s finer points for a quick “lesson” in being joyful.

  1. Make New Friends. (And Keep the Ones You Have)
  2. Don’t Stop Having Fun. (And If You Have Stopped, Start Having Fun Again)
  3. Pay Attention to the People You Love. (Not Later. Right Now)
  4. Let Go of Your Anger, Unless It’s About Something Really Important, Which It Almost Never Is.
  5. Try Not to Judge People by Their Looks, and Don’t Obsess Over Your Own.
  6. Don’t Let Your Happiness Depend on Things; They Don’t Make You Truly Happy, and You’ll Never Have Enough Anyway.
  7. Don’t Lie Unless You Have a Really Good Reason, Which You Probably Don’t.
  8. Be Grateful for What You Have. (It’s Probably More Than You Think)

When Dave Barry wrote this book (and he’s written many) he was turning 70. Of course the book was published in 2019 (told you I was behind) but since I just turned 70 I took it as a “sign” that I was meant to read it at this time. I’m thinking of printing these “lessons” out and sticking on my refrigerator door so that I can be reminded on a daily basis of ways to be more joyful.

I hope you’ll enjoy these Lucy lessons as much as I did.

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Makes Sense, But Still . . .

I admit it, I ready my monthly AARP magazine and also the small newsy publication that looks like a “mini” newspaper. I like the crossword, I also like the articles and suggestions they offer. If it’s something that doesn’t pertain to me, I skip it. Not one of those who reads it cover to cover. It does give some interesting info that I can use.

One of the tidbits I found a few days ago was short and to the point. It makes total sense, but sometimes even those things that make total sense are still hard to accomplish. Life is challenging, not like the “good ol’ days” when people behaved and were nice to one another.

Alot of my posts lately have been about people, relationships and even bad behavior. I promise, the next one that I have planned will be alot more fun. Till then, I share from the December 2023/January 2024 issue this thought:

Lighten Up! Ruminating on grudges, resentments and negative thoughts not only can put you in a foul mood but also has been linked to a decline in cognition and memory in people 55 and over, according to a study published by the Alzheimer’s Association.”

I certainly don’t need anything causing additional decline in cognition and memory. There’s only so much Prevagen “Extra Strength” I can swallow!

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Sunday Thought – – –

How’s the time change working for you? The older I get the more I appreciate those states who no longer deal with Daylight Savings Time. Spring forward? How’s about ‘Spring’ing into a face plant. Feeling kinda sluggish today, of course I could also attribute that to the very busy two weeks of travel I’ve had and a fairly packed calendar of events. Didn’t used to slow me down, but OK, I’m older now, ha ha.

So after a dog walk, an appointment at the Apple Store, and a grocery run, I found myself on the sofa binging a series on Netflix. “Madoff – The Monster of Wall Street”. You know about him, you think you understand it, but the details are fascinating and wow, would not wanna be the SEC during all of that discovery. Talk about an EPIC fail. But I digress . . .

One of the main people who narrate on camera is a woman, who in summation at the end of the four-parter comes up with a statement that was so significant to me that I had to pause it, write it down, so I could share it with you. Not only does/did it apply to the Ponzi scheme and meltdown of his investment business, but is totally relatable to many other areas of life. Summed it up so succinctly that I had to stop and think about things in my past, and how to handle relationships in the future.

So here it is, for your consideration:

The only people who can deceive you completely, are people you trust completely. And the price of trusting anyone is that they can betray you like that”.

I tend to place my trust way too often, and way too easily. Do I want to always be suspicious? No, but maybe a few things in my past might’ve turned out differently if I had been? Hind sight is 20-20 but as I move forward, it certainly is food for thought.

Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but certainly it is OK to be cautious moving forward with personal relationships. They say that trust given freely, once broken, must be earned back. In some cases, maybe you never give it back. Be careful out there and remember the one person you can ever really truly count on, is yourself.

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The Year Of Cleaning House – – –

And I don’t mean actually cleaning the physical house. UGH! What I’m thinking 2024 is for me is the year I’m finally gonna get “real” about relationships, both long term and short term.

Some people lift you up, some drag you down. Some people meet expectations and exceed them. Some people you keep lowering your expectations and they still disappoint. Why do we do that to ourselves?

So by cleaning house, I really am saying that some people I thought were friends, you know, the forever type? I’m moving on. It’s too exhausting to be the only one vested in the relationship. It’s too disappointing to forever be offering graciousness and latitude, gifts of kindness and opportunities, and get nothing back in return.

I know you should not “give” so that you will “receive”, but at some point the “give” doesn’t even get a thank you or an acknowledgement? And the repeated yearly “gives” become expected vs appreciated.

I just had some friends from my old hometown visit here in the mountains and we talked about life, the past, the future, shared many topics and opinions. One of the funnier conversations covered Christmas cards. One of the people that I always send to, and who never sends back, mentioned that she doesn’t spend the time or money to send them but she really does enjoy getting them and hopes to continue to receive them. I think I must’ve done a head tilt and a “huh”? Don’t you think I enjoy receiving them too? Am I not worth the cost of a stamp and the time to address a card?

I know what you’re thinking, I’m being silly, I’m being too harsh, I need to get over it. Maybe, but it just struck me that the only way to quit being disappointed, is to quit setting my self up for it to happen. So I’m cleaning house, and surrounding myself with those who appreciate my friendship, who value me as a person and understand that I am worth your time.

And I suppose I’ll be addressing fewer Christmas cards this year. (sorry for the rant, but sometimes you just need to)

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YAY – February!

Lordy, get me outta January!! Though it’s still cold, there are more sunny days and I am so grateful. 

Speaking of being grateful, I stumbled across this article the other day and thought, since many of us have run into this personality trait, it would be a great share. For me, reading it made me grateful to no longer being in the sphere of a man suffering from this. (Women display it too, not male bashing)

Give it a look see, and let me know if you’ve tried any of these hints. Heaven help me that I ever run into this again, but now at least I have a menu of things to choose from. Read and enjoy your February. 

Link: https://kimsaeed.com/2020/08/12/how-to-make-a-narcissist-miserable-12-things-they-hate/

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January – Almost Over

January for me, in my new home state, is cold, snowy – even frigid. It’s the month I wonder . . . now why did I move here?? Oh yeah, the summers!

January is when we feel the pressure to have “resolutions”, to break bad habits, start good habits, get back to exercise, cut back on food. Heck – even some people do “Dry January”! Yup, tried that once and decided I get it – the reason, but don’t enjoy it, ha ha.

January is really really (did I say really?) cold here in Colorado, in the mountains. Many mornings can get below zero. I think Alexa smirks when I ask her the temp before I get up and decide what I have to put on to walk the dogs. 

January is a travel challenge, though these days, that could be said of all months. I recently went to San Diego to help with the littles while my daughter n’law recovered from a surgery. Was supposed to return here Monday . . . then tried again Tuesday . . . then finally made it back late Wednesday night in snowy and slippery conditions. And do the airlines really care?

January is when we start to get notices about taxes and 1099s and K-1s and all those things that you have to start gathering to make the CPAs job easier. It’s a paper nightmare. And don’t get me started how much fun it is NOT to get it all downloaded/uploaded/unloaded. As organized as I am, it still takes up so much time.

January used to be when TV shows had a brief hiatus before the “2nd” half of the season started. With all the strikes in the entertainent world, and more than just major network channels now due to streaming, etc. – do we even have a “season” anymore?  When do things start? When do they wrap up? Will Yellowstone ever come back?

January is a long month – 31 days. We start out the year trying to recover from the holidays, trying to keep track of normal trash days and bam, more government holidays to create trash and recycle backup. Where my son’s live, if you pull out your trash/recycle cans on the wrong day, you just leave them out till the trucks actually show up. Where I am in the mountains, you cannot put out the night before, you cannot leave out the next night incase you forgot the holiday. Too many critters around. Of course if you do “Dry January”, your recycle bin can probably skip a cycle anyway, right?

January is when you think you might actually start cooking again, no more Holiday parties to supply your dinner. This morning I actually did all the slicing, dicing, browning and assembly for a Crock Pot beef stew. Wait, is Crock Pot cooking actually . . . cooking?

January is when you finally have to take down all those Holiday decorations and fit all those plastic clear storage boxes back into the spaces that they took up for 11 months of the year in “storage” although somehow they don’t seem to stack back up quite as orderly as they did when first stored. Did my shelves shrink? Or did the boxes expand? And now since they didn’t quite stack up the same, I have Christmas wreaths in canvas bags stacked on top of Halloween decor. Oops. 

I hope January gets on outta here soon, temps above freezing would be welcome and I might even have the tax prep “prepped” . . . could happen.

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Happy New Year Y’all

2024 – How? I can still remember the IT panic of crossing into the next century and now it’s 24 years later? Wow, where did the time go? Much has changed in my life since that New Year’s Eve heading into 2000. I was in Steamboat Springs, CO with my family – ringing in the New Year, pretty confident that my computer was not going to crash or implode but hey, strange things do happen.

Neither of my son’s were married yet, one in college one in high school. I was still married, things had starting going south but I didn’t know it yet. There were still two new houses ahead of me that I didn’t know about yet, there was the promise of my “first” horse when we got back to TX, honestly? The world was looking pretty durn good though my eyes.

A new year always gives us a chance to “look back” as well as “look ahead”. It’s time to re-right a ship that might be listing. It’s time for attitude adjustments to make this year better than last. Learn from our mistakes by not making them again. Get healthier, get happier and learn to enjoy each day. So from my humble laptop to you:

H – Help someone less fortunate than you

A – Always say please and thank you

P – Pick your battles, they say it’s better to win the war

P – Put your own house in order before you criticize others

Y – Yes, bad things happen but you are made of stronger stuff – keep on

N – Never give up your dreams

E – Eat more healthy and be less wasteful with what you buy, prepare and do put on your plate

W – Wellness, focus on taking care of your body and your mind

Y – Yearly assessments of your life, make adjustments – right that listing ship

E – Every day, love yourself

A – Always check in with friends and family, time goes by too fast to put it off

R – Remember, it can start with you

Wishing my followers the best in 2024, thanks for always being my safety net.

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Is Your Life Today What You Pictured A Year Ago?

While messing around on my laptop today, I came across a feature here on WordPress that I had never seen before. A daily writing “prompt”.  Not that I EVER need prompting for sharing my thoughts but this one jumped out at me. So I’m using it for this post.

I believe that we all have thoughts about whether we are where we thought we’d be in our life all the time. If you don’t? Good for you, you must be very happy, very satisfied and living your best life.

I hazard to say that most people do not feel that way. A year ago in my life . . .

  1. I had just bought a new horse and was so looking forward to giving my riding passion five more years. I was “legging back up” to three feet (the height of the jumps) and I’d found the horse to get me there. 
  2. I had finally finished the last of the details of my remodel and could finally sit back and enjoy no more projects.
  3. I had sold my home in Texas and could put that maintenance behind me.
  4. I had readied myself to buy a new car and knew exactly what I wanted. The age of the current car was creeping up so it was time.
  5. I was working out and felt in really good shape.
  6. Winter here in the mountains was settling in and I was looking forward to all those sunny and blue sky days that the Vail Valley is known for.
  7. Good friends were coming to visit at some point during some part of the winter, after the new year, and we’d snowshoe, fix chili and enjoy evenings around the fireplace. Or they were joining me in June for my big birthday celebration that we’d been planning for three years. I believe in giving plenty of notice, ha ha.
  8. I was going to get back to needlepointing, and put some projects together in my needlepoint bag and placed them next to that comfy easy chair by the above mentioned fireplace.

So, best laid plans??

  1. The horse came up lame, we noticed that he was not moving comfortably in one direction. We began to assess what could be wrong, and after multiple vet visits and consultations ($$$) he was diagnosed with a suspensory ligament issue in his front left leg. Thus began months of stall rest and zero “turn out”. No riding, no running, no playing, no being “a horse”. He’s currently been moved back to the original trainer who helped me find him and slowly “coming back”. Lucky me, I get to pay board at two places while he’s rehabbing. Stay tuned – – –
  2. Are you ever truly finished with your home? With the remodel finished, some of the workmanship was not really holding up. Thus begins the effort to get sub contractors back out to give you “what you paid for”. There is so much work in this valley that if the quality is not what you paid for, they do not care – because there is always another job waiting for them. It’s slow but I am finding people to come in and help, but paying twice for something is not really the way it’s supposed to be . . . right?
  3. Yes, the home sale did go through, even tho’ I had reduced the price after putting more money into fixing most of their demands. Note to self: do not go back by to look at it because they are not keeping it up like you did. They did not repair the things they demanded you pay for, and the most beautiful home on the block now looks like the least maintained.
  4. The Toyota engineers, in all their wisdom, totally redesigned the third row fold down seats and did away with their retractable rear window in the model I was going to buy – the same one I currently owned. Don’t we all buy cars according to our pet’s needs??? Thus began the search for a new car manufacturer with an SUV model that met my needs. It turned into “find a model that fits MOST of your needs” because there was not one model out there that met all my requirements. (Maybe I should switch from German Shepherds who love to hang their heads out the back, to chihuahuas??  NAH!!)
  5. I found out where the meniscus was in my knee, I had back surgery in May for a bulging disc between L5 and S1 and in the Fall fractured my 5th metacarpal on my right hand. I am a frequent flyer at the orthopedic docs office up here. Needless to say my workout class and Pilates class were put on hiatus.  
  6. It was the longest, coldest and grayest winter that the locals could remember in 30 years. Do I have good timing or what???
  7. One friend came to visit last winter. So many excuses. Most people bailed on the June trip. So many excuses.  ’Nuff said.
  8. Yes, that needlepoint bag that was full of the canvases and threads sitting next to the comfy chair by the fireplace?? It’s still there, and if you were to pick it up, my guess is that the floor beneath it is clean and dust free, ha ha. Nope, didn’t get to it. 

I wasn’t unrealistic, but perhaps I was too optimistic? 

So this year, I did get all my Christmas cards and shopping/wrapping done early – maybe that is what I was doing instead of needlepointing.

I am going down to the Denver area tomorrow to check on my horse and if all goes well, get to ride him a bit. No jumping yet, but I’m hopeful I’ll move him back up here in a couple of months.

As I sit here and type this, the sky is amazingly blue and the sun is shining and it’s going to be 42 for the high today – a year ago is was 1 (I know this because of my FaceBook memory that popped up).

I’m now the proud owner of a new Defender, and though it is smaller in the back for the dogs, they are learning and negotiating their space when they lay down. No, the window doesn’t go down, none of the SUVs have windows that go down anymore, but we’re making due.

I am finally (no jinx here) all put back together with no upcoming visits to an orthopedic office, no physical therapy, no braces or casts (have I mentioned how great Tylenol Arthritis is? Thanks Diva J) or contraptions.

The friends who really matter? I know who you are now. Many thanks for not abandoning me. I hope to never disappoint you. And if you don’t really wanna snowshoe when you visit? I’m OK with quality fireplace time. ; -)

I’ve had 7 friends lose their husbands this year, some expected, some not. They got it right when they married, true love matches, and I hope I can be there for them when they need. My loss of a marriage certainly not the same caliber of pain that they are going through. My aloneness is trivial compared to theirs.  

I’ll probably not write again till after Christmas, since I’m sure I’ll be busy getting all those needlepoint projects done for NEXT Christmas (or not) but please enjoy your family and friends during this holiday season and remember that it’s OK if you’re not really where you thought you’d be a year ago. Sometimes we are actually exactly where we are meant to be. One year older and one year wiser.

Holiday Hugs to you all.

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