suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Truth! Believe It!

We all have them in our lives, but are we ignoring them?  Are we walking away from them?  If we ignore them long enough will they just move on?  Maybe.

But do yourself a favor and remove them from your sphere of the universe.  No one needs another downer in their life.  Too many things go wrong on a daily basis, do you really need to add to your stress level?  Not me!

I can spot them so much more easily now.  I was brought up to believe in the Golden Rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you – but guess what?  They’re so wrapped up in themselves, that they really don’t care about you and your needs or feelings.

Just finished the book, “The Narcissist Next Door”.  A neighbor had recommend I read it, so because I’m in the car alot, I downloaded the Audible version and listened to it.  Wow!  Can I recognize some of those behavior traits that before I would just ignore, or think there was something wrong with me?  You betcha’!  That’s their specialty, making YOU think there is something wrong with YOU.

Remove them from your universe.  It’s not easy, some of these people I’ve known a very long time, but it’s just not a healthy relationship.

There are so many wonderful people out there, kind hearted and caring.  Embrace them, cherish them, and let them know how much you appreciate them.  Seriously, today, after you read this, reach out to one special person and tell them how much you appreciate their positiveness.  You’ll make their day, and you’ll feel so much better too.  : -)

 

Advertisements
2 Comments »

Being Positive!

Do you enjoy daily reminders of how to live a more positive life?  I know I do, but sometimes I don’t “listen”.   When crazy things continue to happen, and you think you’re living life the best that you can, and you’re trying your darnedest to not let the negative thoughts in – sometimes a gentle nudge is all it takes.  Sometimes “listening” is hard.  It’s easy to wallow in the “why me” self pity party.  So here’s a daily reminder below!  Read and implement!!

You can follow these on Facebook, or order his books from Banlican House Publishers or Amazon.  But the most important thing?  Don’t get so down on yourself – look for the positive.  BELIEVE!

Jim’s Daily Awakenings

Many people suffer from low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is dangerous because, like a magnet, it attracts bad things to us. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.

How can low self-esteem be repaired? Here are eight suggestions:

1. Refuse to indulge in negative thoughts or self-criticism; low self-esteem feeds on negative thoughts

2. Become aware of negative self-talk; continually substitute positive affirmations.

3. Choose to be yourself; you cannot be successful at reading some else’s script.

4. Be true to yourself; live consistently by the highest and best you know.

5. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your strengths and believe in you.

6. Trust your gut; what instinct is to an animal, the Holy Spirit is to you.

7. Begin each day and conclude each day by feeding your brain positive truths.

8. Visualize your dreams as realized.

Leave a comment »

Where Has The Summer Gone?

OK – admittedly in the southwest where I’m from, summer is still in full fiery rage.  Heat advisories popping up in my inbox and on my phone.  It’s an inferno out there.  It’s why I run away and hide in cooler climes for a little “Rocky Mountain High”.  Tho’ whether John Denver meant a different kind of high, I’m all about the higher altitude for cooler weather.

Hummingbirds, summer flowers, afternoon showers, a flowing river still high from snow melt, windows open at night – yup, my summer is all about my “alternative universe”.  My family just left from a week long visit – lots of activities, especially to keep the “youngers” busy, because we all know a bored “younger” can get into all kinds of trouble.  (Of course, so can an adventurous elder with my newly favorited summer drink – F’rose, pronounced “fro-zay”)  But I digress . . .

This summer has been an interesting one, few things have gone my way, but I still find myself to be one incredibly lucky individual.   When my dogs escaped through a broken invisible fence, two good samaritans stopped to help retrieve.  When my car died in the garage, more good samaritans changed my battery and got me “drivable”.  When I needed help of the “IT” variety, a friend jumped in and got me hooked up again.

Every where I look, I’ve had help from friends and strangers.  I proclaimed in January that this was going to be “my year”!  Not really knowing what exactly that would bring along, I just knew it was my turn.  Even though I’ve had great acts of kindness shown to me, at the end of the day – it’s up to me to decide if I’m going to let Murphy’s Law tank me?  Or shall I make the most/best of what life dishes out and keep looking forward?

It’s now been almost 12 years since my divorce and it’s incredible the way I have flourished and grown, much more so than I ever thought I would.  I’ve survived two bad accidents and a frivolous lawsuit.  I’ve published a book and become a #1 Best Seller on Amazon.  I’ve had two sons get married, become a grandmother four times and broadened my friend base since my life took that 180 degree turn around back in 2006/2007.

So I guess instead of asking “where has the summer gone?” I should really be wondering where has the last 12 years gone?  Just keep being happy friends!

2 Comments »

A Daily Reminder!

So many different versions of this, but the message is always the same.

With all we are bombarded with in the media these days, it’s hard to believe there is truly anyone out there that has “it”.  That’s Integrity with a capital “I”.

What do YOU do when no one is watching?  I’d like to think that it comes second nature to us all  I’d also like to think that I will always do the right thing, no matter whether I have an audience or not.

I think I do, I certainly try hard to.  But maybe I’ll use this reminder today just to make sure.

Integrity is the key for good societal behavior, especially when no one is watching you.  Will you display it today?

2 Comments »

Since When Is Life “Convenient”?

It’s been a crazy, sometimes sad, sometimes irritating start to my summer.  When I look at all the things I’ve had to deal with, I fear most people would say “Huh?  I should be so lucky to have THOSE problems!”

It’s not even so much all the things that have broken, needed replaced, quit working etc., it’s more that it just keeps happening and like the old football penalty used to be called:  “piling on”!

Literally was out walking the dogs, having a conversation with the universe saying basically, “OK – enough’s enough!  Let’s get this bad karma turned around!”   And I get in the car to take a friend to catch her van to the airport and the car is DEAD!  I look heavenward and say, “Really???  This is how you answer me?”

BUT – in each case, I’ve had the support of really wonderful friends, and even some strangers, that have stepped up to help.  It still costs me time and money to deal with all these repairs, replacements and redos – but I know I’m not alone.

It’s not always convenient to be my friend.  Heck, I’m sure there are times when it’s not fun at all – but they still show up for me when that black karma cloud just refuses to go sit over someone else’s head.

Whether it’s my GF’s husband and son who came to jump my dead car, assess the problem, go to Walmart and buy me a new battery and install it, or the neighbors who stopped by to check on me after having to put one of my GSD’s down (after she quit eating and lost the use of her legs), or the visiting GF who helped me set up my new printer, replacing the one that just decided to quit, or the Good Samaritan and his son who stopped their car when my dogs busted through the Invisible Fence (that the landscapers had cut unbeknownst to me) and chased a deer through and across a heavily traveled road and caught them unharmed – it’s been ONE OF THOSE SUMMERS!

There is kindness still out there even though we don’t see it much on the news anymore.  And there are people who will show up for you even when it’s not at all convenient!  I’m trying to remember that and be grateful!

3 Comments »

The Older I Get, The More I Come To Realize – – –

Do you sometimes wonder if you’ve ever really had anyone like that in your life??  Someone that loves you no matter what??  If you have, then you’re lucky.

Too many people and situations put “conditions” on a relationship.    If this, then that – maybe.  I’ll be with you if . . .    I’ll love you if . . .  Conditions.

Look for those real people today, and every day.  There might not be many, but cherish the ones that you do have.  Be grateful for those few who want to make you smile, and to see you happy.

And just maybe, you will be that person to make someone else smile?

2 Comments »

Never Forget – – –

Those who served, those who gave their lives so that we might have a better one.  Happy Memorial Day to my trusted and faithful followers.

Leave a comment »

For Today, And Every Day . . .

Leave a comment »

Some Days You Hear Sad Songs . . .

That moment when you realize that a 20+ year tradition, of one of your most favorite activities, has gone and left you behind?

That moment when all those fun memories haunt you because you have to come to realize, you’ll never have the opportunity to add to them?

That moment when you begin to come to grips with parts of your “old life” passing you by and there’s nothing you can do about it?  And people don’t really understand why it bothers you?

That moment when you try so hard not to let your heart hurt for another one of life’s disappointments?

There are going to be days like this.  You are going to have times where all you hear are the sad songs.  It’s OK.

But I promise that tomorrow you’ll feel better, I know I will.

I don’t normally “interrupt” when I’m sharing a “series” with you all, but I knew you’d understand my need to connect today, on a sad day.  Because just like that old fashioned bobber on the end of a cane pole fishing line, the weight of sadness will not keep me under water.  I’m a bobber, and I will pop right back up to that surface – because life’s sad days happen, but will never define me.

Leave a comment »

7.  Don’t be afraid to make more time for the right relationships.

7.  Don’t be afraid to make more time for the right relationships.

“Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them.  You have to figure out who’s worth your attention and who’s just taking advantage of you.  If your time and energy is misspent on the wrong relationships, or on too many activities that force you to neglect your good relationships, you can end up in a tedious cycle of fleeting friendships, superficial romances that are as thrilling as they are meaningless, and a general sense of wondering why you always seem to be chasing affection.

Choose yourself rather than settle for those who treat you as ordinary.  YOU certainly aren’t.  Never settle for being someone’s option when you have the potential to be someone’s priority.  You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with.  If you hang with the wrong people too often, they will bring you down.  But if you hang with the right people, they will help you grow into your best self.  These people will love all the things about you that others are intimidated by.”

 

Flashback – it’s like my Mother is sitting here as I write this and I’m typing quickly to get all her words in.

Doesn’t this sound like a lecture/piece of advice we all received in Middle School (OK, it was called Junior High when I was there!) from our parents??

If we’d listened, would we be happier today?  Well, it’s never too late because re-reading that which I’ve shared above is something you cannot do too few times.

I’ve joked that in the past years, I’ve whittled down my Christmas card list to the real people, the true friends.  But that’s just a simple way of saying I know who the best people in my life are now.  And this means either gender in my life, friends and/or family.

Do not accept bad treatment from anyone, do not sink to their level and allow them to bring you down.

You’re worth so much more.

4 Comments »