suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Borrowed From A Friend – – –

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve    
learned ….
 
That
just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve    
learned….
That    
having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings
in the world.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve    
learned….
That    
I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in
any other way.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That
no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend
to act goofy with.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That
sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
 I’ve    
learned….
That    
simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a
child did wonders for me as an adult.
 I’ve    
learned….
That    
money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve    
learned….
That    
it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
 I’ve    
learned…
That    
under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and
loved.

I’ve    
learned….
That    
to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
 I’ve    
learned….
 That    
when you plan to get even with someone,
      you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve    
learned….
That    
the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people
smarter than I am.
I’ve    
learned….
That    
everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
 I’ve    
learned….
That    
no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I’ve    
learned….
 
That
life is tough, but I’m tougher.
 I’ve    
learned….
 That    
opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That
when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she
passed away.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That
one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have
to eat them.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I’ve    
learned….
 
That
when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist,
you’re hooked for life.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That
everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and
growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
I’ve    
learned….
 
That
the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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Being Positive!

Do you enjoy daily reminders of how to live a more positive life?  I know I do, but sometimes I don’t “listen”.   When crazy things continue to happen, and you think you’re living life the best that you can, and you’re trying your darnedest to not let the negative thoughts in – sometimes a gentle nudge is all it takes.  Sometimes “listening” is hard.  It’s easy to wallow in the “why me” self pity party.  So here’s a daily reminder below!  Read and implement!!

You can follow these on Facebook, or order his books from Banlican House Publishers or Amazon.  But the most important thing?  Don’t get so down on yourself – look for the positive.  BELIEVE!

Jim’s Daily Awakenings

Many people suffer from low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is dangerous because, like a magnet, it attracts bad things to us. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.

How can low self-esteem be repaired? Here are eight suggestions:

1. Refuse to indulge in negative thoughts or self-criticism; low self-esteem feeds on negative thoughts

2. Become aware of negative self-talk; continually substitute positive affirmations.

3. Choose to be yourself; you cannot be successful at reading some else’s script.

4. Be true to yourself; live consistently by the highest and best you know.

5. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your strengths and believe in you.

6. Trust your gut; what instinct is to an animal, the Holy Spirit is to you.

7. Begin each day and conclude each day by feeding your brain positive truths.

8. Visualize your dreams as realized.

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A Daily Reminder!

So many different versions of this, but the message is always the same.

With all we are bombarded with in the media these days, it’s hard to believe there is truly anyone out there that has “it”.  That’s Integrity with a capital “I”.

What do YOU do when no one is watching?  I’d like to think that it comes second nature to us all  I’d also like to think that I will always do the right thing, no matter whether I have an audience or not.

I think I do, I certainly try hard to.  But maybe I’ll use this reminder today just to make sure.

Integrity is the key for good societal behavior, especially when no one is watching you.  Will you display it today?

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As We Approach Summer Time – – –

Are you like me and looking forward to “getting away” for a while??

Has the rat race we call life worn you out or put you in a bad mood??

Here is a recommended list of books to read if you’re having a bad day, or just need a mental escape!!  I’m adding them to my “to do” list this summer!!

https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/entertainment/good-books-to-read-bad-day?utm_source=emailshare&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-share-listicle&utm_content=20190124

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For Today, And Every Day . . .

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10.  Don’t be afraid of other people’s empty judgments.

10.  Don’t be afraid of other people’s empty judgments.

“The greatest and most gratifying experiences in life cannot be seen or touched.  They must be felt with the heart from the inside out.  There’s nothing more inspiring than the complexity and beauty of human, heartfelt feelings.  Sadly though, many people let the fear of judgment numb and silence them.  Their deepest thoughts and feelings often go unspoken, and thus barely understood.

Do NOT let people invalidate or minimize how you feel.  If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you.  Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever.  No one else occupies your body, or sees life through your eyes.  No one else has lived through your exact experiences.  And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel.  Your feelings are important.  Never let anyone or any circumstance lead you to believe otherwise.

Remind yourself that there is a great freedom in leaving others to their opinions, and there is a huge weight lifted when you take nothing personally.”

 

This is a great last part of this series of posts I’ve been sharing.  It is so validating to me to read this and I’ll tell you why.

When I published my book on divorce recovery and “survival” as a newly single woman, one of the first points I tried to get across to my readers was “your feelings are YOUR feelings”.  Don’t ever let people judge you or tell you HOW to feel, and WHEN to feel and WHAT to feel.

People are always going to try to tell you what to do, when to do it, how to do it, how THEY would do it, and so on.

Friends and family (one hopes) want what’s best for you – that’s great.  However, you have to walk the path of your life yourself, in the way that you feel is best for you.  You’re going to make some people mad; you’re going to receive  some criticism both behind your back and to your face.  You may have to live with knowing you’ve disappointed those who are closest to you . . .

Let it roll off like water on a duck’s back.

If we’re trying to be the best version of ourselves this year, then we need to listen to our hearts.

Can you hear it?

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9.  Don’t be afraid to live out some of your dreams.

9.  Don’t be afraid to live out some of your dreams.

“There are thousands of people who live their entire lives on the default settings, never realizing they can customize everything.  Don’t settle for the default settings in life.  Don’t hide behind laziness.  Find your loves, talents and passions, and embrace them fully.

Seriously, too many people dream only at night in the quiet of their own minds, and then awake to find it was all an illusion.  Don’t be one of them.  Dream by day, too.  Be one of the people who dream with their eyes wide open, and who works to make some of them come true.

And forget popularity too.  Just do your thing with passion, humility, and honesty.  Do what you do, not for an applause, but because it’s what’s right.  Pursue it a little bit each day, no matter what anyone else thinks.  That’s how dreams are achieved.”  

(Read Tuesdays with Morrie.)

 

Sounds so simple doesn’t it?  I’ve now entered what I lovingly refer to as the last 1/3 of my life.  OK, so my Mom just turned 100 on Christmas Eve, so maybe I’ve got a bit more time, but seriously?

What am I waiting for?  If it’s not something that is holding you back (like finances) but something that you can dream about, then accomplish – what are you waiting for?

I’ve mentioned before, the last year of college, I set myself some life goals.  Of the five, I didn’t finish the fifth and final one till last year.  I graduated college in 1975, you can do the math.

So now I’m setting myself new goals.  They’re also larger goals.  I may not make them all, but I surely won’t if I don’t dream about them then plan for them.

What are your dreams?  What are you goals?

Are you with me?

 

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Some Days You Hear Sad Songs . . .

That moment when you realize that a 20+ year tradition, of one of your most favorite activities, has gone and left you behind?

That moment when all those fun memories haunt you because you have to come to realize, you’ll never have the opportunity to add to them?

That moment when you begin to come to grips with parts of your “old life” passing you by and there’s nothing you can do about it?  And people don’t really understand why it bothers you?

That moment when you try so hard not to let your heart hurt for another one of life’s disappointments?

There are going to be days like this.  You are going to have times where all you hear are the sad songs.  It’s OK.

But I promise that tomorrow you’ll feel better, I know I will.

I don’t normally “interrupt” when I’m sharing a “series” with you all, but I knew you’d understand my need to connect today, on a sad day.  Because just like that old fashioned bobber on the end of a cane pole fishing line, the weight of sadness will not keep me under water.  I’m a bobber, and I will pop right back up to that surface – because life’s sad days happen, but will never define me.

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8.  Don’t be afraid to learn something new.

8.  Don’t be afraid to learn something new.

“As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow.  Learn as if you were to live forever.”  Life is a book and those who do not educate themselves read only a few pages.

When you know better, you live better.  Period.

And remember that all education is self-education.  It doesn’t matter if you’re sitting in a college classroom or a coffee shop.  We don’t learn anything we don’t want to learn.  Those of us who take the time and initiative to pursue knowledge on their own time are the only ones who earn a real education in this world.  Take a look at any widely acclaimed scholar, entrepreneur or historical figure you can think of.  Formal education or not, you’ll find that he or she is a product of continuous self-education.”

 

Whether you’re reading a new book on a subject you’re interested in, taking a continuing education class in a school or university, learning a new craft or skill, beginning a new job, or learning a new method in an old job – it’s learning.

Challenge your mind, challenge yourself.  Keep that brain working.  As easy as a crossword puzzle, or playing Words With Friends on your phone, your brain should never be at rest.  Like the Nike ads:  Just do it!

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7.  Don’t be afraid to make more time for the right relationships.

7.  Don’t be afraid to make more time for the right relationships.

“Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them.  You have to figure out who’s worth your attention and who’s just taking advantage of you.  If your time and energy is misspent on the wrong relationships, or on too many activities that force you to neglect your good relationships, you can end up in a tedious cycle of fleeting friendships, superficial romances that are as thrilling as they are meaningless, and a general sense of wondering why you always seem to be chasing affection.

Choose yourself rather than settle for those who treat you as ordinary.  YOU certainly aren’t.  Never settle for being someone’s option when you have the potential to be someone’s priority.  You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with.  If you hang with the wrong people too often, they will bring you down.  But if you hang with the right people, they will help you grow into your best self.  These people will love all the things about you that others are intimidated by.”

 

Flashback – it’s like my Mother is sitting here as I write this and I’m typing quickly to get all her words in.

Doesn’t this sound like a lecture/piece of advice we all received in Middle School (OK, it was called Junior High when I was there!) from our parents??

If we’d listened, would we be happier today?  Well, it’s never too late because re-reading that which I’ve shared above is something you cannot do too few times.

I’ve joked that in the past years, I’ve whittled down my Christmas card list to the real people, the true friends.  But that’s just a simple way of saying I know who the best people in my life are now.  And this means either gender in my life, friends and/or family.

Do not accept bad treatment from anyone, do not sink to their level and allow them to bring you down.

You’re worth so much more.

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