suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

2.  Don’t be afraid to trust yourself.

2.  Don’t be afraid to trust yourself.

“You may not be where you want to be yet, but you’ve also come a long way from where you once were.  Appreciate how far you’ve come.  You’ve been through a lot, but you’ve grown a lot too.  Give yourself credit for your strength and resilience.  You have good reason to believe that you can trust yourself going forward, not because you’ve always made the right choices, but because you’ve survived and grown from the bad ones.

Good things take time, and you’re getting there.  So don’t allow yourself to be crippled by stress and self-loathing.  Everything is only as it is.  There’s no reason to let it cripple you.  Remind yourself to breathe—to let every moment be what it’s going to be.  What’s meant to be will come your way, and what’s not will fall away.  And remember that life’s best gifts may not always be wrapped the way you expect.”

 

Boy is this a good one for me.  For years I didn’t trust myself, not that you could tell that from the outside looking in.  My friends would have told you that I showed confidence, inside I was the total opposite.  When you live with a narcissist, and that person makes sure you know how much you “disappoint”, you start to believe.

When that person is no longer in your life, you begin to learn to trust yourself.  You begin to realize that all along, you were just fine.  People may not always agree with my decisions, but I trust myself to make the best ones FOR ME!

I am a work in progress, aren’t we all?  I spend more time now with the “go with the flow” instead of the “swimming upstream”.  You do learn to breathe, you do learn to be more relaxed.  And yes, I appreciate how far I’ve come because I remember well where I started.  I trust myself and have grown so much in the past post-divorce 11+ years.

I like “me”.

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Continuing On The “Moving Forward” Theme . . .

I’ve received many nice feedback comments on the New Year Resolve to be positive, and reminder to look forward.  Thank you.

Along with that theme, I share the below link of a few ideas for “de” cluttering.  After all, one of the best ways to move ahead, is to clean out and get rid of things that hold you back, or keep you mired in the past.

A year ago, I wrote about one of my big “clean out” projects.  I recycled or repurposed many things in my house including books to a lending library, my wedding dress to a group that makes burial gowns for babies who never leave the hospital, clothing-bags-scarves-shoes to Salvation Army & Dress For Success, blankets/towels and dog food to a shelter/rescue, etc.

It warmed the heart, and made my house more manageable.  Along those lines, I read this article below (as if you need a reason to de-clutter) about questions to ask yourself when deciding if you should hang onto something or not.  Hope it inspires you to “Move Forward” a little bit more.  : -)

https://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/organizing/organizing-more-rooms/questions-to-ask-before-decluttering?utm_source=emailshare&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-share-listicle&utm_content=20190123

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New Year’s Resolve?

So how are those New Year’s Resolutions coming along???  I tried a new approach this year.  I was away from home for New Year’s and I had a blast.

Normally I sit home and wonder why none of my gal pals, or married couple’s friends wanna go out and do anything to celebrate new beginnings.  They’re in bed by 9:00 . . .

Maybe I didn’t get enough of the Party Life done when I was young?

So this year an opportunity presented itself.  My college team was playing in the New Year’s Day Sugar Bowl in New Orleans.  I reached out to some fellow crazy football friends to see if they wanted to take a trip to NOLA for the game and, oh by the way, New Year’s Eve?

Bam!  They said yes.  We had a blast.  We brought in the New Year together, well . . . OK, a couple of them did retire early but some of us saw the “ball drop” in NYC and toasted the entry of 2019.  Win or lose for the football game, we were gonna bring in 2019 and look “forward” to new beginnings and a happy New Year.

As luck would have it, a miracle occurred and we did win the football game, but that was just the icing on the cake.  The best part was being together, and agreeing that the past is in the rear view, and the future is bright.

So my new approach that I alluded to above?  No New Year’s Resolutions, just a promise to myself that life is only as good as I make it myself.  Look forward, always.  The past is not your life sentence, the future is what you make it no matter the hand you were dealt!

This is going to be my year.

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Always Surprised – – –

Yup, it’s true.  Even today I’m always surprised when someone refers to me as “strong” – and it’s usually not a compliment.  Growing up I would’ve never considered myself strong.  I would’ve considered myself obedient and pliable.  What my Dad said was the gospel.  What my Dad told us to do, we did.

As I get older, I can now reflect back on how he also made me a confident individual.  I don’t want to use “self assured” because many times that’s seen as a bad thing, but I learned to trust myself and trust my instincts.

Then I hit college . . .  then I fell in love.  All that trust just flew out the window.  “Smitten does not equal Smart”!

I embodied the term “Pleaser”.  For thirty years I tried to trust, I tried to please.  I kept re-inventing myself to make those around me happy and proud of me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, because if I hadn’t had that experience, I would not have been able to come back to my roots and be the person I was meant to be.

Strong.

Several months ago, I accepted a dinner out with a couple who I adore, they are so cute and fun and “into” each other.  They had a single man friend that they wanted to introduce me to.  I was skeptical, I pretty much threw in the towel on “dating” in 2015, but hey – it was a Friday and it was Tex Mex.  Like . . . I’m gonna say no??

So I went.  Had fun with the friends, he showed up late.  Never a good beginning.  From the get-go, I could tell he was doing this as a favor, but wasn’t really interested.  That’s fine, I was there for the Tex Mex and my friends.  We talked sports, he and I went to the same University.  He knew I had season football tickets.  When a month later my friend asks me if it’s OK if she gives him my contact info, because he’s asked, I think . . . he didn’t appear to be really into the evening???

Then I remember . . . football tickets.  I tell her sure, go ahead and share the contact info, it’s probably about football tickets.  So he texts me soon after, wondering if I would be interested in . . . . . helping him get football tickets for a particular game.  No problem I say.  And I do.  I’m a pleaser.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, that friend had a birthday party and she seated the “single man” between me and another of our single GF’s.   That was fine, I think he’s a nice guy, just not interested in me.  You know what?  That’s OK with me too.  When you throw in the towel as I have done, on finding someone special, it really does take all the pressure off.  So my single gal pal and I passed the evening together, having a pleasant dinner with him in between us.  At one point in the conversation, he mentions the dinner of Tex Mex where we had met, and how he knew at that point that I was a “strong” female.  Believe me, if he thought that was going to upset me, he would be wrong.

He said it as if it was a bad thing, not to be insulting, but to be enlightening just in case I might be wondering why he’d never asked me out.  NAW!!  Just reconfirmed that some men think being strong and female is threatening, and reconfirmed that I’m really VERY OK with that.

So when I saw this today, I had to share,  Pretty sure my Dad would be proud!

 

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A Great TV Quote – – –

As we begin the New Year, I share with you this statement that was part of a regular TV show series that I watch.  The character was trying hard to find her “identity” and her “purpose”.  Of course, she found it, it is imaginary and TV after all, but still . . . I loved it.  I had to replay several times to get it all, I changed the verb tense a bit but – I wanted to share with you all!!

“We are born with innocence, and as we grow, we are cursed with a question.  Why, why are we here?  Is it all just chaos, or do we have a purpose?  If you are one of the lucky ones to find an answer to that question, the curse can be lifted and replaced with the grace of certainty.”

At this age, I’m pretty sure there is no innocence left in my life.  No naivety, and sometimes a very little trust is left within me.   I do feel like I have found, and acknowledge my purpose on this earth.  So in this new year, I live with certainty of purpose.  I promise to smile more, than I don’t.  I promise to be happy more, than I’m not.  I promise to give more, than I receive.  And I promise to be thankful for every single day of 2019!

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A Holiday Message To All – – –

As we enter this “pre” weekend to all the holidaze and chaos, just wanted to share again this simple tree with a few kind suggestions to make your season brighter.

When we are kind to others, it actually fills our hearts and spirits ten-fold.

Be happy with yourself this coming week, and carry that feeling into the New Year of 2019.

Wishing all my followers and their family and friends a joyous and festive holiday.

No matter what you celebrate, do it with love in your heart, and hope for your future.

And always remember, that I appreciate you all, every day of my life.  Blessings.

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Happy Thanksgiving Weekend!

 

I know this is a bit late, but I was otherwise occupied with family and football!!

How was your Thanksgiving?  Mine consisted of five adults and eight kids, we were outnumbered but had fun!

My football team won, so off to the playoffs next weekend.

My house lights are up and officially the timers are “plugged in”!  Getting my tree up this coming week, and the house will be festive and ready for friends and family.  (Note to self:  remember no breakable ornaments within three feet up from the floor – wagging dog tails, etc . . . . .)

May the beginning (the real beginning, not what Home Depot, Walmart and Target say with displays going up pre Halloween) of your holiday season be filled with much joy, happiness, friends and family, furry friends and festive gatherings never forgetting the “reason for the season”.

You’ll hear from me less in the next month (you’re not smiling are you??) as I plan to devote my energy to my family and friends, but never fear – I will be back!   All my best –

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How Timely . . .

Rec’d this the other day from CS and it couldn’t have come at a more opportune time.  Having now survived the “Mid Term” elections otherwise known as “Get Your Crazies On”, I think we can all agree that sometimes we just need to step away from the “instant” of social media.

Enough already!  What happened to civility, being nice to people even if you don’t agree with their opinions or politics?  And yes, before you say it, it DOES start from the top down.  BIG SIGH!!

Politics aside, this article just make sense.  Hope you agree.

https://www.thezoereport.com/p/how-to-be-happier-in-life-not-just-on-instagram-13078064

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The Logic We Sometimes Forget – – –

Twelve things that seem to be so easy to list, yet sometimes so hard to accomplish or understand.  Some harder than others, but all doable!!  Thanks CS for reminding me of all of them!  My favorites are numbers 7 thru 10, which are yours?

 

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A Simple Message Today!

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