suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Where Has The Summer Gone?

OK – admittedly in the southwest where I’m from, summer is still in full fiery rage.  Heat advisories popping up in my inbox and on my phone.  It’s an inferno out there.  It’s why I run away and hide in cooler climes for a little “Rocky Mountain High”.  Tho’ whether John Denver meant a different kind of high, I’m all about the higher altitude for cooler weather.

Hummingbirds, summer flowers, afternoon showers, a flowing river still high from snow melt, windows open at night – yup, my summer is all about my “alternative universe”.  My family just left from a week long visit – lots of activities, especially to keep the “youngers” busy, because we all know a bored “younger” can get into all kinds of trouble.  (Of course, so can an adventurous elder with my newly favorited summer drink – F’rose, pronounced “fro-zay”)  But I digress . . .

This summer has been an interesting one, few things have gone my way, but I still find myself to be one incredibly lucky individual.   When my dogs escaped through a broken invisible fence, two good samaritans stopped to help retrieve.  When my car died in the garage, more good samaritans changed my battery and got me “drivable”.  When I needed help of the “IT” variety, a friend jumped in and got me hooked up again.

Every where I look, I’ve had help from friends and strangers.  I proclaimed in January that this was going to be “my year”!  Not really knowing what exactly that would bring along, I just knew it was my turn.  Even though I’ve had great acts of kindness shown to me, at the end of the day – it’s up to me to decide if I’m going to let Murphy’s Law tank me?  Or shall I make the most/best of what life dishes out and keep looking forward?

It’s now been almost 12 years since my divorce and it’s incredible the way I have flourished and grown, much more so than I ever thought I would.  I’ve survived two bad accidents and a frivolous lawsuit.  I’ve published a book and become a #1 Best Seller on Amazon.  I’ve had two sons get married, become a grandmother four times and broadened my friend base since my life took that 180 degree turn around back in 2006/2007.

So I guess instead of asking “where has the summer gone?” I should really be wondering where has the last 12 years gone?  Just keep being happy friends!

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A Daily Reminder!

So many different versions of this, but the message is always the same.

With all we are bombarded with in the media these days, it’s hard to believe there is truly anyone out there that has “it”.  That’s Integrity with a capital “I”.

What do YOU do when no one is watching?  I’d like to think that it comes second nature to us all  I’d also like to think that I will always do the right thing, no matter whether I have an audience or not.

I think I do, I certainly try hard to.  But maybe I’ll use this reminder today just to make sure.

Integrity is the key for good societal behavior, especially when no one is watching you.  Will you display it today?

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Since When Is Life “Convenient”?

It’s been a crazy, sometimes sad, sometimes irritating start to my summer.  When I look at all the things I’ve had to deal with, I fear most people would say “Huh?  I should be so lucky to have THOSE problems!”

It’s not even so much all the things that have broken, needed replaced, quit working etc., it’s more that it just keeps happening and like the old football penalty used to be called:  “piling on”!

Literally was out walking the dogs, having a conversation with the universe saying basically, “OK – enough’s enough!  Let’s get this bad karma turned around!”   And I get in the car to take a friend to catch her van to the airport and the car is DEAD!  I look heavenward and say, “Really???  This is how you answer me?”

BUT – in each case, I’ve had the support of really wonderful friends, and even some strangers, that have stepped up to help.  It still costs me time and money to deal with all these repairs, replacements and redos – but I know I’m not alone.

It’s not always convenient to be my friend.  Heck, I’m sure there are times when it’s not fun at all – but they still show up for me when that black karma cloud just refuses to go sit over someone else’s head.

Whether it’s my GF’s husband and son who came to jump my dead car, assess the problem, go to Walmart and buy me a new battery and install it, or the neighbors who stopped by to check on me after having to put one of my GSD’s down (after she quit eating and lost the use of her legs), or the visiting GF who helped me set up my new printer, replacing the one that just decided to quit, or the Good Samaritan and his son who stopped their car when my dogs busted through the Invisible Fence (that the landscapers had cut unbeknownst to me) and chased a deer through and across a heavily traveled road and caught them unharmed – it’s been ONE OF THOSE SUMMERS!

There is kindness still out there even though we don’t see it much on the news anymore.  And there are people who will show up for you even when it’s not at all convenient!  I’m trying to remember that and be grateful!

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The Older I Get, The More I Come To Realize – – –

Do you sometimes wonder if you’ve ever really had anyone like that in your life??  Someone that loves you no matter what??  If you have, then you’re lucky.

Too many people and situations put “conditions” on a relationship.    If this, then that – maybe.  I’ll be with you if . . .    I’ll love you if . . .  Conditions.

Look for those real people today, and every day.  There might not be many, but cherish the ones that you do have.  Be grateful for those few who want to make you smile, and to see you happy.

And just maybe, you will be that person to make someone else smile?

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It’s Birthday Week!

Ha!!!  People used to say, “It’s better than the alternative”!  “WHATEVER”!

For some reason I’m really starting to feel it.   Maybe that comes hand in hand with the fact that I’ve entered the world of Medicare?  Or looking at drawing Social Security?  Or my kids are getting older therefore surely I must be also?

If your eldest just turned 39, . . . well . . . you do the math.

So this Birthday Week I’ll try to feel more spry.  I’ll ignore the wrinkles (easiest to do without reading glasses or a 10X makeup mirror!).  I’ll ignore the newest pain of an achilles tendon while I try to get my 10,000 steps in.  I’ll ignore this Keto diet thing so I can have birthday cake (or birthday pizza – yum!).

And I’ll enjoy hearing from my friends and family because I guess turning another year older, and acknowledging being able to get Senior Citizen discounts at the movies, really is better than the alternative.  Just sayin’ . . .

 

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Never Forget – – –

Those who served, those who gave their lives so that we might have a better one.  Happy Memorial Day to my trusted and faithful followers.

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As We Approach Summer Time – – –

Are you like me and looking forward to “getting away” for a while??

Has the rat race we call life worn you out or put you in a bad mood??

Here is a recommended list of books to read if you’re having a bad day, or just need a mental escape!!  I’m adding them to my “to do” list this summer!!

https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/entertainment/good-books-to-read-bad-day?utm_source=emailshare&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=email-share-listicle&utm_content=20190124

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For Today, And Every Day . . .

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Now, it’s your turn…

Now, it’s your turn…

“… I sincerely hope this has inspired you to LIVE your life TODAY…

Don’t ignore death (or any form of pain), but don’t be afraid of it either.  Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take action on what matters most.  Truth be told, death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive and breathing.

Be bold.  Be courageous.  Be scared to death, and then take the next step anyway.

Do the hard things you know you need to for yourself!

Every.  Single.  Day.”

 

As I wrap up this 10 part series of shared posts, I’m reminded of a great line in the movie “Flashdance” (yes I’m dating myself).  The heroine is contemplating giving up her dream of learning “classical Ballet/dance”.  Her romantic interest tells her, “You give up your dreams?  You die.”

Doesn’t a little part of us die inside every time we give up on our dreams?  On ourselves?

Remember.  This is OUR year!  Live life LARGE.

Every.  Single.  Day!

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10.  Don’t be afraid of other people’s empty judgments.

10.  Don’t be afraid of other people’s empty judgments.

“The greatest and most gratifying experiences in life cannot be seen or touched.  They must be felt with the heart from the inside out.  There’s nothing more inspiring than the complexity and beauty of human, heartfelt feelings.  Sadly though, many people let the fear of judgment numb and silence them.  Their deepest thoughts and feelings often go unspoken, and thus barely understood.

Do NOT let people invalidate or minimize how you feel.  If you feel something, you feel it and it’s real to you.  Nothing anyone says has the power to invalidate that, ever.  No one else occupies your body, or sees life through your eyes.  No one else has lived through your exact experiences.  And so, no one else has the right to dictate or judge how you feel.  Your feelings are important.  Never let anyone or any circumstance lead you to believe otherwise.

Remind yourself that there is a great freedom in leaving others to their opinions, and there is a huge weight lifted when you take nothing personally.”

 

This is a great last part of this series of posts I’ve been sharing.  It is so validating to me to read this and I’ll tell you why.

When I published my book on divorce recovery and “survival” as a newly single woman, one of the first points I tried to get across to my readers was “your feelings are YOUR feelings”.  Don’t ever let people judge you or tell you HOW to feel, and WHEN to feel and WHAT to feel.

People are always going to try to tell you what to do, when to do it, how to do it, how THEY would do it, and so on.

Friends and family (one hopes) want what’s best for you – that’s great.  However, you have to walk the path of your life yourself, in the way that you feel is best for you.  You’re going to make some people mad; you’re going to receive  some criticism both behind your back and to your face.  You may have to live with knowing you’ve disappointed those who are closest to you . . .

Let it roll off like water on a duck’s back.

If we’re trying to be the best version of ourselves this year, then we need to listen to our hearts.

Can you hear it?

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