suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Jun 12

Ha!! An Equine Perspective??

by suddenlysinglewomen

Some of my followers “know me” personally.  Some of you have never met me but share some of life’s challenges.  For the last group, I’ll share with you that I’m a horse nut.

I grew up wanting a pony, but my Father always said “no”!  He’d take me riding, but never wanted to be responsible for them.  : -(

Later when married I still wanted one, but had graduated to the taller variety of equine.  I dreamed of having a horse, but my husband always said “no”!  He would NOT take me riding, that I had to do on my own with friends who had extra mounts!

The horse “ailment” is something that never really goes away.  If you have it, it’s pretty much for life (unlike my marriage, right?).  When I saw this article, it made me laugh out loud.  I’ve had much better luck choosing horses, than I have had choosing men.  It’s nice to know I’m not the only one.

For a bit of humor, I hope you enjoy this woman’s perspective on picking men from a “horsey” point of view!!  She’s right on the money!

http://www.horsecollaborative.com/boyfriends-horses-id-better-picking/

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Mar 24

The “Positive Spin” – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

I recently posted about some disappointments I’ve had in people I considered good  friends, and how much that can hurt and deflate you.  Since some of my followers are people that I see on a regular basis, I received questions of concern and curiosity.  Not only is it great to know people do read what I occasionally send out, but heart warming to realize that there are still many who care and hope for the best for me.

While I wish that everything that I share could be positive, sometimes there are things that I send you to be thought provoking; then there are the things that cause my heart sorrow and I just need to get it off my chest during my most alone times.

I need look no further for a positive spin on the disappointments in life than this quote from President John F Kennedy who knew the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows.

“Change is the law of life.  And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future”

While I’m pretty sure this statement had little to do with my feeling down and disappointed, and everything to do with our great nation’s future back in the early 60’s, it still rings true for “life in general”!  I’ve written before about the difficulty in driving “forward” if all you do is look in “the rear view mirror”.

This is just another way of saying it.  Such an easy concept, and such a hard thing to put into practice.  Instead of a “New Year’s Resolution” – maybe the thing I do is have a resolution every day to try to be more positive.  Look for the things you can add to your life to make yourself a better, brighter and happier person, and walk away from the things – or people – who drag you down.

Rose colored glasses and glass “half full” are my mantras of the day . . . what are yours?

 

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Mar 13

Another Weekend . . . Yippy?

by suddenlysinglewomen

Been kinda weird lately.  Lots of little things going wrong that are all starting to pile up.  I keep thinking that if one little positive thing would happen, then I wouldn’t mind so much all these little pesky things that keep getting me down.

I’m still waiting.

Maybe I’m having bad karma, maybe my biorhythms are crossing, but I’m truly feeling totally out of sync with the rest of the world.  Feeling out of sync and totally alone.  So alone that when I saw this link pop up that I not only considered opening it, I DID!

I’ve sworn off dating, I’ve thrown in the towel, I’m coming to grips with the fact that there is no white knight or charming prince in my future.  But hey, maybe you haven’t given up the hope yet????  So just in case you still believe in the fairy tale of happily ever after, at least this site has what they call the “Ten Best Dating Websites”!

So if your weekend is looming ahead of you as lonely and empty as mine is, here’s something for you to read up on, or maybe join “for free”.   Maybe there’s even one on there that you haven’t tried before.  After all, they only ever publish their “happy endings”, but wouldn’t you just really love to know how many people do not find matches on these sites?

OK – I’ll quit being negative . . . but the weekend is looming, the weather is kinda awful and well . . . you know . . .

http://www.top10bestdatingwebsites.com/?pubid=160006&hitid=369668413&c1=interspire-yahoo-MegaJ-1256

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Feb 23

Resilience – Be The Definition

by suddenlysinglewomen

I enjoy reading, but for too many years I’ve pushed it aside for more “physical” activities.  I’ve decided to try to find a better balance between being active and being sedentary.  Being active always took my mind “off” the bad things.  Being “quiet” allowed them to sneak back in – those sneaky little pesky buggers!

So I’ve decided to take some advice from the professionals and “Face It”!   I share with you a quoted statement from a recent sedentary magazine article reading experience  I’ve found a new book to read by Steven Southwick, a professor of psychiatry at Yale University and the coauthor of:

Resilience:  The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges

“Coping with unfortunate events and moving on is the definition of resilience.  You can train yourself to be resilient by using difficult situations as a toughening experience.  Accept what you cannot change, and practice more productive responses.  So instead of shouting obscenities and banging on the steering wheel when you’re stuck in traffic, put on soothing music.  Realize that the traffic jam is an opportunity to get better control over your emotions.  If you do this over and over again, you will actually change the way that your brain functions.  No one enjoys stress and adversity, but they can help you grow.”

It’s worth a try at least.  Those bad experiences and hurtful things aren’t what you chose, but how you deal with them IS what you choose.  As I enter year eight, post divorce, I still struggle but also see most things more clearly now.  The further I get from it, the easier it becomes to step more confidently into the unknown of my future.

Join me?

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Feb 13

Bah – Humbug . . . . . No Wait, . . . . Wrong Holiday

by suddenlysinglewomen

Anti-Valentines-Day_163738

 

Ha!!  What to say about “tomorrow” – Valentine’s Day?

Maybe you have a Valentine, or maybe a date, or maybe your family sent you a card?

Or maybe you’re like me and you’re sitting there today in a hair salon, getting a shampoo and a blowdry and the stylist assumes you’re getting it done for “big plans”!!  “So, . . . . (pause) . . . . are you doing something special this weekend?”

You hesitate, because should you take it out on her that you’re still single, and still alone, and still doubting there’s anyone out there that wants to love you and be your “mate”?

Nah!  Your good breeding tamps down the negative response that pops in your brain and you smile inanely and say, “Oh – no special plans.  Probably hang with some friends!  You?”

I’m the mother of sons, and they hate Valentine’s.  They claim it’s a conspiracy between Hallmark card shops and chocolate and flower shops.  Now THAT’S the spirit.  I taught them better than that but hey – they’re dudes and dudes don’t get all mushy, right??

I think back to a particular Valentine’s “surprise trip” I had planned for my then spouse, to Santa Fe.  One of our close friends “couple” went with us.  A beautiful and romantic place, Santa Fe – or at least it can be.  He gifted me with a beautiful gold bracelet cuff that had a heart on each end.  His take?  Two hearts coming together – just like he and I.

Too bad that I later found the receipt for what he’d also purchased for his girlfriend – alas you can see why I might be a bit jaded on the big “V” Day.  Real love and compassion and caring for another individual shouldn’t be about one day, it should be every day.

But that’s a Cinderella dream, and this Sleeping Beauty’s heart will probably remain Frozen since I refuse to play the part of Dumbo any more.

Chocolates anyone?

 

 

 

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Dec 31

2014 In Review – At Least Statistically???

by suddenlysinglewomen

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.   I couldn’t help but take a look to see how “we” had done this past year.  We all want to think we’re making progress, getting smarter, learning more, healing the hurts, etc.  What surprised me was that I’ve gone “International”.  Cool!  That just goes to show you how wide spread the healing needs go, the women it needs to reach.

Thanks for sharing my thoughts with others, thanks for sharing the blog site address with others and as always, thanks for your feedback and comments.  That’s when I really know I’m touching other lives, and they are touching mine – when you comment back.

Hoping your Holidays were wonderful and that 2015 will bring each and every one of us New Beginnings.  For me, 2015 will bring me a new Grandbaby in June, and a new Daughter ‘N Law in September.  Blessings to you all, see you “next year”!!

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 790 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 13 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Nov 9

Men Are Like . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

I copied this from the internet the other day.  It made me want to laugh uncontrollably.  There IS some humor out there when speaking about on of our most talked about subjects.  While I’m not sure the photos are going to come through (I’m still technologically challenged!) the gist of the message certainly does!!  Read and laugh, we all need a bit of humor at times!!

 

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free. Here’s an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an “entire pig” just to get a  “little sausage”.

1. Men are like Laxatives.
They irritate the crap out of you.
2Men are like Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
3.Men are like Weather.
Nothing can be done to change them.
4.Men are like Blenders.
You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
5.Men are like Chocolate Bars…
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6.Men are like Commercials. You can’t believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores…Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8.Men are like. Government Bonds….
They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like … Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10.Men are like Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11.Men are like Snowstorms.
You never know when they’re coming, how many inches you’ll get
or how long it will last.
12! .Men are like Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13.Men are like Parking Spots.
All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

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Sep 29

Trust?

by suddenlysinglewomen

Trust never used to be an issue for me.  I grew up in an honest family, I had honest friends, I was an honest person myself.  I was insulated – that’s for sure.  The older I get the more I learn that there are many untrustworthy people out there.

They think nothing of a little white lie, and that’s only the beginning.  What about “lying by omission”?  Can you trust a person who chooses not to tell you something?  That’s a gray area for most.  When my ex was living “outside the bonds of marriage”, I had friends that knew what was going on.  They chose not to tell me.  That’s a lie by omission.  Acting like everything was great, life was good, all were happy.  All were NOT happy.

So when it comes time to think about putting yourself out there again, once you’re past the initial stages of healing from your divorce, how easy do you think it’ll be for you to trust once again?  I trusted too quickly and had my heart stepped all over by a man I cared about.  Each time that happens I will be more inclined to not trust, to protect myself – but that’s just me.

Below is one of many articles about dating and trusting once again.  Maybe it will provoke some thoughts that you need to consider because none of us ever again want to go through what we’ve already been through.  As always I welcome your thoughts!

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/about-you/learning-how-to-trust-again/#.U3EnLtZlyEU.email%5B/

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Sep 22

To “Lift” Or Not To “Lift”?

by suddenlysinglewomen

As we age, our skin shows it.    This is NOT a gender issue, but a human issue.  The skin just “ain’t what it used to be”!  The elasticity is gone, collagen isn’t produced like before and things sag.  UGH!!

If you add on top of that the society we live in is constantly telling us we should be thin, and wrinkle free – no matter our age, you want to hide indoors.

Then if heap on top of that the dating game where (sorry dudes) the men are looking at and for those younger women to squire around, it’s no wonder we look tired and old.   We ARE tired and old, LOL!!  OK – so maybe age is a matter of mind but your mirror is not your friend.

Entering my 50’s I remember how clearly my “then” husband felt about plastic surgery.  He always said he would do it if it made him feel and look better.   For my 50th birthday I seriously considered that’s what I should do; I knew he looked at me as “aging” and needing some artificial help in looking better.

Instead he divorced me and just married a “younger” person – problem solved.

Now as I sit here at 61, and see all the plastic around me, it’s easy to wonder the “what if” I had done it at 50?  Or wonder about the “what if” I do it in my 60’s?  Whatever happens, it’s nice to  know you’re not alone in wondering if trying to seek a younger version of yourself – to match the younger self your mind tells you that you still are – is worth it or not.

No judgement from my corner either way, but I did enjoy reading this brief article about another’s feelings.  We’re not alone in at least “wondering”!

 

https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/my-aging-face-97643202288.html

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Aug 15

A Humorous List For Dating Rules!

by suddenlysinglewomen

18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating That You Have To Deal With | Thought Catalog

18 Ugly Truths About Modern Dating That You Have To Deal With

I’ve given the “dating thing” a wide berth lately.  By the time you read this I will have let the last dating site membership expire.  (Note:  Just for the fun of it I changed the zip code on it for a month while I was in another state just to test the waters.  Yup – no hits here either!)

Of course these sites are only going to promote their successes!  But I would just LOVE to get the ACTUAL stats on how many people actually have success on them.  Meanwhile they just keep raking in the $$ because of desperate and lonely people.  OK, “desperate” might be a bit too harsh but you know what I mean.

It’s brutal out there, especially for “older” women.

So I saw this and thought I’d share.  Like I’ve said before – Netflix still my best companion!

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