suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Apr 8

8) Positive Thoughts Create Positive Things

by suddenlysinglewomen

Following on the heels of Happiness comes from within, is today’s thought tickle!

Isn’t this just one of those things that sounds so obvious that you wonder why it has to be pointed out?

Isn’t it sad that it has to be?

Especially over the past couple of years in our country, I’ve never seen such animosity and divide.  No one can agree on anything.  What ever happened to my Mother’s old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar”?  These days if you’re a fly, you’re just gonna get squashed.

The power of positive thinking can create great change now when we need it most.  Where can it start?  With the person in the mirror!

Go download the John Lennon song “Imagine” and then . . . imagine being positive with everyone you encounter today.

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Apr 7

7) Happiness Is Found Within

by suddenlysinglewomen

I’ve known this one a long time – but it doesn’t make it any easier to accomplish.

I guess I was really a witness to this in my marriage.  When things start to go south, there’s alot of blame being hurled around.  One of those accusations???  “I’m not happy anymore, you don’t make me happy.”

You wanna scream – “It’s not my job!”    But it also isn’t that easy.

In any relationship, you certainly want to do nice things for the other person, to put a smile on their face, to show your love, that you care, that they are important to you.  However, what if that person is so miserable, and can’t see that it starts with him or her?  They may toss your kindness and love right back in your face.  How does that make you feel?

Like not trying anymore.  And so the relationship break down begins.

Don’t let their misery bring you down – let’s hope your happiness is infectious.  Let’s hope that some day they understand that “Happiness Is Found Within”!

 

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Apr 6

6) Overthinking Will Lead To Sadness

by suddenlysinglewomen

To me, this is similar to always “looking back” – and the first thought of “the past cannot be changed.”

I overthink things alot – yes, . . . guilty!

And the conclusion I usually come to?  A supreme waste of time.  It doesn’t change anything, and it’s keeping me held back.  Imagine a giant rubber band around your waistline and every step you try to take forward, just yanks you back – sometimes further back than you started.

There will always be things that will make you sad.  Don’t add to that list and bring it on yourself.  It’s spring, the flowers are blooming and it’s all about new beginnings.  Instead of overthinking, when you find yourself doing it, get outside and take a walk and clear your mind of that habit.

And smile!

Being The Best Version Of Yourself Divorce Recovery Finding Happiness as a Single Woman Fresh Starts Girlfriends Having a Happy Life Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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Apr 5

5) Judgements Are A Confession of Character

by suddenlysinglewomen

Have you ever heard of the Meyers Briggs Personality Assessment?

If you are ever curious about the reasons behind why you make certain decisions, how you might handle a certain situation or are contemplating a relationship – go do this test!  It’s an eye opener.

I did one years ago, as part of a leadership group I was participating in.  Boy did it open my eyes to some of my personality traits.  What was even MORE eye opening several years later, was after my “then” husband did one for work.  We compared our scores.  It should have been a warning.

I scored very highly on the “judger” judgmental part of the test.  I’d never had that trait identified like that before.   I really had to focus on being more understanding of other’s opinions and personalities and seeing that I could not put how “I” would handle something on them, as an expectation.

I think I have a pretty good character – and most of the time I’m a really good person, but it is still a daily struggle at times to let those judgements go.  What can I say but that I’m a constant work in progress!

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Apr 3

3) Everyone’s Journey Is Different

by suddenlysinglewomen

So true!

While I was gathering information for my book, and talking to other women about things that had happened in their lives over the years of marriage, successful or not – one thing became very clear.

Everyone’s journey is different.

Things that I initially thought were obvious and universal, became different and unsuspected.  You put 100 people in a room and hand them a set of circumstance and they will all handle it differently.  They are neither right or wrong, just different.

Just like yesterday’s post on opinions, our journeys and forks in the road happen at different times and for different reasons – there is not always a clear right and/or wrong.

Yes, looking back there might be things I would’ve done differently, and my path might have then been different at this point.  There is still no time travel going back to change things.  Having regrets, making amends, moving forward – it is your journey and hopefully you embrace it fully.

Those bumps in the road, the potholes you fall into – they make you who you are.  Special.

Embrace “different” – you only go ’round once!

 

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Mar 31

1) The Past Cannot Be Changed

by suddenlysinglewomen

Nope, no matter how hard we try, it’s there.  It happened.

Are you like me and sometimes think in your active imaginative brain what “coulda been” . . . if only?

I replay things over and over and formulate different endings.  Yes, I do the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” dance in my head.  But to what end?

That would be the end that drives you crazy because unless you find a time machine, the past cannot be changed.  Nor probably should the past BE changed because it’s how we learn.  It’s the old, “If this . . . then that”!!  For every action there is a reaction (high school physics, not my favorite – just sayin’!)

As I grow older, I understand that the past cannot be changed and I must keep trying to do what’s right, what’s best for me in my own personal situation.  Other’s may not always agree with my actions, my thoughts, my behavior – but it is mine and I own it.

I alone am responsible for how I take the past in to account to decide my future.  I am much happier now, than I was in most of my past.  I thought I had a loving marriage – I was wrong, but what I take from that is invaluable to how I move forward.  That hurt has made me strong, those lessons have been learned and stored for future reference.

I am a better person because of the past, changing it would alter the course of my life as it is now – so no thanks.  I’m a better person because of it.

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Mar 21

No Wonder I’m Tired At Times, LOL!

by suddenlysinglewomen

In my book I encourage people to get up, get out and get active.  I suggest using a step tracker of some sort to actually see how active (or inactive) you are on a daily basis.

I use the FitBit.  There are many trackers out there, but I love that it tracks my heart rate, my steps and my sleep (which certainly lacks) among other things.

This year my totals were emailed to me and after seeing them – I was exhausted.  My goal is 10,000 steps per day.  Let’s just say I’m more apt to reach and/or surpass those goals in the summer (i.e. nice weather) vs. rainy wintry days.  Still, when you see the grand total, it kinda takes your breath away.

Amongst my goal oriented friends who are in my “group”, I’m usually right in the middle in the number of steps per day.  Not really a competition . . . but then again.

The (constant) leader is a “runner” and since she normally runs five miles a day I am NEVER going to beat her.  (on the few weeks where I have surpassed her, I’ve emailed her to find out if she broke both feet – she is THAT dedicated).

Why I ever accepted her “friend” request via FitBit is beyond me.  WTH was I thinking??

So, here’s how I did in 2017:

2,832,537 steps or,

1,236 miles

435,203 calories burned

So why are my jeans so tight, SIGH????

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Mar 12

Some Things Never Change – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

Musician John Mayer posted this list of Principles of Adult Behavior on Instagram honoring the passing of John Perry Barrow.  The “Principles of Adult Behavior” itself was written by Barrow, then a lyricist for the Grateful Dead, in 1977 on his 30th birthday.

This post by another “blogger”, was shared with me by a friend who shares my same “thoughts” on behavior.   Really, when you read it, don’t you flash back to things that your parents taught you “back in the day”?

Sometimes the simplest credo’s are the easiest to follow.  My mother always called it “common sense”.  I call it my hope for humanity.  Thanks Carol!!

 

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Feb 21

Still Laughing Out Loud!! (i.e. share with your men friends/family)

by suddenlysinglewomen
NINE  
WORDS WOMEN USE
(1)   Fine :   This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2)   Five Minutes :   If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3)   Nothing :   This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4)   Go  Ahead :   This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
(5)   Loud Sigh :   This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6)   That’s Okay :   This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7)   Thanks :   A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm  
and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).
(8)   Whatever :   Is a woman’s way of saying   F–   YOU!
(9)   Don’t worry about it, I got it :   Another  
dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman  
has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it  herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.

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Feb 16

The Wisdom of Charlie Brown’s Creator!

by suddenlysinglewomen
The  following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the  creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip.

You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.

Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name  the five wealthiest people in the  world.

2. Name  the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name  the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.

4  Name  ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name  the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name  the last decade’s worth of  World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.

These are no second-rate achievers.

They are the best in their fields.

But the applause dies..

Awards tarnish..

Achievements are forgotten.

Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school..

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?  The lesson:

The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the
most credentials, the most money…or the most awards.

Being The Best Version Of Yourself Divorce Recovery Finding Happiness as a Single Woman Fresh Starts Girlfriends Life after Divorce Surviving Divorce Women's Lives after Divorce

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