Suddenly Solo?
This statistic is an eye opener! I just read where there are over 19 million singles over the age of 55!
Wow, that’s a whole lot of people sitting on a sofa eating alone while watching TV on any given night.
No wonder those administrators of Social Security are so worried, they should be! We are a staggering number.
I can also see why all those dating websites continue to thrive, and give us (false) hope that there really IS someone out there that we can grow old with together.
The breakdown that I would find even more telling would be this – of those 19 million singles over the age of 55, what are the percentages:
- How many are single and have never been married?
- How many are single because of divorce?
- How many are single because they lost a spouse due to death?
You wonder how many are single because they want to be, and of that number, how many because they never trusted marriage and are happy in their “solo-ness”? How many are single because they’re divorced and their heart was broken and will never trust again. Of that number, how many are female, how many are male?
I would love to see a better breakdown, but until then, I remain curious, and curiously alone . . . uh, I mean single.
Here’s To Finding “Contentment” . . .
“Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us”.
I believe in some corners this is referred to as the Serenity Prayer. Serenity, contentment, are these things that we can strive for and ever find in our busy lives?
I recently took a Meditation and Happiness class. It was two classes, offered on consecutive Friday evenings at a nearby University. Sure, why not? What else am I doing on a Friday night? Wink Wink . . .
The teacher had been trained by Tibetan Monks, had spent time with the Dali Lama. (Did I spell that right?) He had the lose flowing garments, and looked like a yogi. He had his floor mat and pillow, spoke soothingly, taught us about breathing and releasing the mind. I came closer to “getting it” than I ever have before, but still . . .
His mantra was much shorter than the one above, and focused on seeking “happiness”. I have a friend who refers to it as seeking “quiet”. Semantics.
I do believe that as I get older, it is important for me to move farther away from the frenetic life I used to thrive on, and those people who keep it that way. Therefore, as it says above, I desire to be content with myself, and allow my soul the freedom, and dare I add – joy, to sing, dance, praise and love!
I wish these things for all of you.
Drama Queens??? Who Needs Them??
“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”
If getting back up is living, then I am alive and well!
When I was very young, being a child of older parents – I was always around much older adults. There was more than the fair share of cranky old women and men. I never understood why they were always in a bad mood. I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with me, but I wondered what made them that way?
I promised myself then and there that I would not grow up to be a cranky old woman.
Uh Oh!
Now that I myself am an adult, surrounded by other adults – I think I’m beginning to understand. I still don’t want to be “one of them, the cranky ones” – but I’m starting to understand the how and why they got that way. The difference today? I can make a choice to not let it turn me into the same thing. I can remove myself.
When I read the above statement, it was like a very bright light bulb went off in my brain. By nature I am the fixer, the pleaser, the consensus builder – but some people just do not want to be happy. They thrive in their “poor me” land. It’s the way they seek attention. Not this woman. Much like the past post I wrote several years ago about the “bobbin” on top of the water? That’s me, I’m going to pop back up onto the surface.
Scroll back up and read the quote again. Decide to walk away from the Drama Queens (or Kings) in your life. Reside in a place where people make you laugh, and show you respect. It’s hard to walk away, some of these people have been in my life for 30+ years, but they’re weighing me down. I will be the Phoenix rising from the ashes, see me soar!
Changing Your Expectations?
A friend recently shared this little snippet, pretty sure there’s more where this came from so I’ll include the credit and link below should you choose to scope out more! This one tho’, speaks loudly to me. Read it first, then I’ll share my thoughts!
By: Danielle LaPorte at #Truthbombs. http://bit.ly/truthbombs
Truthbomb: “People are going to be who they are most of the time. In character, not out of character. We are — for better or for worse — generally predictable. So there’s a lot of sanity in just flowing with someone’s nature. Accept it. Forgive it. Just tolerate it. Or peace out if you don’t want it in your life. But don’t waste too much time trying to change it.”
Not long ago I was sharing something I’d read with a group of my GF’s. I was commenting on how very sad it is that advice these days tells us if we don’t want to be disappointed in people, we should “lower” our expectations. That just goes against everything I was taught and shown as a child of the 50’s.
Later, as a teacher, I was constantly reminded that my students would live up to my expectations. If I didn’t expect much from them, they would give me just that – not much. If I expected really good things from them, and held them to a high standard, they rarely let me down.
As I grow older in this 21st century, I am sad to report tho’ that a lot of people just don’t give a “sh*t” about what you think about them or their actions. According to the quote above, I’m just supposed to tolerate it.
My biggest mistake I have found, is expecting people to handle situations the same as I would. Politeness and good manners – what happened to them? Everyone is so focused on their own needs, that thinking of others first, has disappeared. That is a very sad state of affairs.
So maybe it’s time for me to take the last line above to heart, and not waste too much time trying to change it, or the people around me? I’ll just be content to know that I will continue to put other’s needs first, knowing that I am no saint – but I am polite, have good manners and will continue to be so.
Pause – – –
Sharing from my bud CS, my cowgirl back-up who always has my back. You know, the kind of GF that supports you even when it’s not convenient? Everyone needs one! And it seems particularly good to share this at the beginning of a week, a short but sweet lesson!
“Practice the pause.
When in doubt, pause.
When angry, pause.
When tired, pause.
When stressed, pause.”
Hope this helps you get through your week a little more relaxed – remember to breathe!
What Not To Wear After 50 . . . Tongue In Cheek . . . Sorta!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-combs/what-not-to-wear-after-ag_b_6656902.html
Here’s another shared idea from a faithful blog follower and personal friend from my DRG.
(in case you’ve forgotten some of my abbreviations, DRG = Divorce Recovery Group)
Thanks KO!! (and no I don’t mean knock-out, although if provoked she might could . . . especially the ex-husband’s mistress)
Though this article was definitely written to be a bit sarcastic and ironic, I think it shares valuable insights on how we can get too bogged down thinking how we SHOULD act at a certain stage in life. Haven’t we finally arrived to the age of deserving to let loose a bit?
Enjoy the humor, and let loose a little!!
(And Happy St. Patrick’s Day)
May The Force Be With You – – –
Quote: “Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.”
Sorry – couldn’t resist the Star Wars lead in! I love the series and can’t wait for the next one to come out. After seeing installment 7, I’m so ready for the next one. Guess I’ll have to be a little patient? Peace and patience – something I strive for every day.
What resonates with me in the quote above is the freedom in your soul! I LOVE to “sing, dance, praise and love” – I try to do this every day. Like the words in the Country song, “Sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching” – it’s amazing the life this gives to your soul.
So today, I challenge my followers to sing loudly, dance wildly, praise often and love always! See if your soul doesn’t welcome this and make YOU a force to be reckoned with!
My Table of 8 (Plus ++++++)
“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you well, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”
I read this a while back, and wanted to share it – but had to save it till after my daily “Life’s Lessons” ran their course. I’m constantly gathering tidbits, always jotting down thoughts (crazy and otherwise) and receiving helpful notes from friends who know I write this blog!
Thank you!
The title refers to who you would like to keep “close.” If your table is to be filled with those closest to you, who have helped you and supported you the most, who would they be? Admittedly, my table of 8 has experienced some major shifts over the years. They are today, not who I’d thought they would be.
Friends and family will surprise you, disappoint you, support you and drop you. It’s a rollercoaster ride and some times you get slung off. As I enter the “last third” of my life, I really want to be more careful who I trust and put my confidence in. I’m tired of being let down, I’m tired of surprises – I want to wake to every day refreshed and smiling.
As I contemplate those who are special in my life, I hope my table of 8 can be crowded with a few more chairs – we’ll see. Having just returned from a girls weekend retreat, I am reminded that we all look for that support in different ways. Some give it freely, some have to be asked for it. Should you have to ask for it? Things that seem so obvious to me, are not that focused on by others.
Life is forever a journey of discovery!
Who is sitting at your table of 8 today?
Lesson #41
“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.”
I will if you will!
Seriously, as I write this I’m sitting in my bathrobe still, with both dogs asleep on my feet.
How easy is it for us to “cancel”, to not show up, to live the day in our workout clothes (whether we actually work out or not)? Too easy for me. I need to quit asking myself the question, “Do I really have to?”
Yes I do!
Our mothers got up, dressed up and showed up.
OK – off to shower . . .
suddenlysinglewomen 