suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Pause – – –

Sharing from my bud CS, my cowgirl back-up who always has my back.  You know, the kind of GF that supports you even when it’s not convenient?  Everyone needs one!  And it seems particularly good to share this at the beginning of a week, a short but sweet lesson!

 

“Practice the pause.

When in doubt, pause.

When angry, pause.

When tired, pause.

When stressed, pause.”

Hope this helps you get through your week a little more relaxed – remember to breathe!

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How To Not Settle For “Ordinary”?

Sweet friend CS passed this along to me the other day!!  As I’ve mentioned before, I love passing on wonderful tidbits and positive thoughts that are shared with me while taking zero credit for anything more than just knowing how to “cut and paste” on my laptop, LOL!!  Enjoy these positive thoughts for making your life a bit more “extra”ordinary shared from:

· Keri StanleyInternational Coach, Business Leader, Speaker, Heart-Centric Entrepreneur
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is a little bit of “extra”….Anthony Robbins

I remember when someone would mention the words “extraordinary life,” the entire thought seemed only for the rich and famous. The idea seemed unreachable and only pertained to the lucky few. My self-talk would be jabbering in my mind saying “as if that’s ever going to happen to someone like me.” What I didn’t understand was that the greatest obstacle I had to overcome wasn’t to suddenly win the lottery, but to actually start showing up to live my life with just a little bit of extra. I finally woke up to the truth and stopped playing the victim card. I began to see that living an extraordinary life could truly be achieved with focusing on the small things in life building one adventure after another. Living an extraordinary life is a matter of mindset that anyone can achieve rather than a status that one has been given. There are many things that you can start doing right now that can take what would be considered an ordinary life into one that is extraordinary.

Here are five simple steps you can immediately put into practice to start living your extraordinary life NOW:

1. Make a list of 100 things to do in 2016: It’s the beginning of the year, so this is the perfect time to create your list. Take out a piece of paper and write down anything and everything that comes to mind. From the littlest things to the most extreme, it all goes on your list. The first few items will be easy because it’s usually how far we’ve allowed ourselves to think, yet give yourself some time to challenge your mind to fill up your list. We so easily get caught up in the routine of our lives that we typically don’t give ourselves permission to dream. The simple act of writing this list stretches your imagination and opens up the possibilities to see your life from a different perspective.

2. Change up your routine: We are creatures of habit and this can lead to staying comfortable, like snuggling up with your favorite pillow. However, when was the last time you went to get your Starbucks coffee and tried a different flavored latte? Have you ever driven to work and suddenly realized you don’t remember making any of the turns, yet shocked yourself to realize you were already in the parking lot? Our life can tend to run on auto-pilot and we spend a large amount of time completely numb to what is happening around us. Therefore, by changing up our typical routine, we begin to become more awake to the experiences of our own life.

3. Learn something new every month or two: When was the last time you did something for the first time? Remember when you were a kid and you had to learn something new all the time? You were nervous, excited, and a little scared when you first tried to ride a bike. Perhaps, you were even quite clumsy and a little embarrassed. But once you did it a few times, you began to get the hang of it and suddenly had a boost in your confidence with a feeling like you could fly. In other words, you were challenged to grow. Your confidence gained a big boost, and suddenly you were ready to conquer the world with your cape. Yet, as adults we tend to not allow ourselves to play and try something new. It’s easy to put things off you’ve always wanted to do saying “I’ll do it when”, but the” when” never comes. Bring out the kid in you again and pick something you’ve always wanted to do. Maybe a painting class or aerial yoga. Once you begin to push yourself just that little bit extra, you quickly grow your comfort zone and feel braver to do even more.

4. Hang around with others that live extraordinary lives: There are always those people that you wonder how they do it. The best way to find out what they do different is to spend a little time with them. See how they think, speak, and act differently. Dreaming Big is contagious and extremely energizing. You will be surprised at how quickly you begin to try some new things and feel more confident in stepping out of your ordinary life. Don’t forget your social media is a great place to hang out with those living extraordinary lives. This is a great way to follow some really inspirational people you might not normally hang out with and begin opening your mind to new ways of thinking.

5. Seize the day: There are opportunities that happen around us daily. Take note on how many times you would really love to do something, but for some reason you find yourself saying no. Many times we say no because we feel we don’t have time or money. Yet sometimes it’s a deeper feeling of not feeling worthy enough to have the experience. And finally, sometimes it is a matter of guilt or feeling we need to sacrifice ourselves for our family. Filling YOUR cup first, allows you to pour more of you into others, rather than only what is leftover. Start saying YES to just one or two things you might have originally said no to and watch your experiences begin to blossom.

The next time you find yourself feeling stuck in an ordinary life; try out at least one of these simple steps to put into place. Just that tiny bit of “extra” goes a long way and before you know it, you’ll be expanding your world and inspiring not only yourself, but those around you to do the same. Extraordinary living is contagious….pass it on.

Follow Keri Stanley on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ke_stanley

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What Not To Wear After 50 . . . Tongue In Cheek . . . Sorta!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-combs/what-not-to-wear-after-ag_b_6656902.html

Here’s another shared idea from a faithful blog follower and personal friend from my DRG.

(in case you’ve forgotten some of my abbreviations, DRG = Divorce Recovery Group)

Thanks KO!!  (and no I don’t mean knock-out, although if provoked she might could . . . especially the ex-husband’s mistress)

Though this article was definitely written to be a bit sarcastic and ironic, I think it shares valuable insights on how we can get too bogged down thinking how we SHOULD act at a certain stage in life.  Haven’t we finally arrived to the age of deserving to let loose a bit?

Enjoy the humor, and let loose a little!!

(And Happy St. Patrick’s Day)

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May The Force Be With You – – –

Quote: “Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.”

Sorry – couldn’t resist the Star Wars lead in!  I love the series and can’t wait for the next one to come out.  After seeing installment 7, I’m so ready for the next one.  Guess I’ll have to be a little patient?  Peace and patience – something I strive for every day.

What resonates with me in the quote above is the freedom in your soul!  I LOVE to “sing, dance, praise and love” – I try to do this every day.  Like the words in the Country song, “Sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching” – it’s amazing the life this gives to your soul.

So today, I challenge my followers to sing loudly, dance wildly, praise often and love always!  See if your soul doesn’t welcome this and make YOU a force to be reckoned with!

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My Table of 8 (Plus ++++++)

“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you well, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”

I read this a while back, and wanted to share it – but had to save it till after my daily “Life’s Lessons” ran their course.  I’m constantly gathering tidbits, always jotting down thoughts (crazy and otherwise) and receiving helpful notes from friends who know I write this blog!

Thank you!

The title refers to who you would like to keep “close.”  If your table is to be filled with those closest to you, who have helped you and supported you the most, who would they be?  Admittedly, my table of 8 has experienced some major shifts over the years.  They are today, not who I’d thought they would be.

Friends and family will surprise you, disappoint you, support you and drop you.   It’s a rollercoaster ride and some times you get slung off.  As I enter the “last third” of my life, I really want to be more careful who I trust and put my confidence in.  I’m tired of being let down, I’m tired of surprises – I want to wake to every day refreshed and smiling.

As I contemplate those who are special in my life, I hope my table of 8 can be crowded with a few more chairs – we’ll see.  Having just returned from a girls weekend retreat, I am reminded that we all look for that support in different ways.  Some give it freely, some have to be asked for it.  Should you have to ask for it?  Things that seem so obvious to me, are not that focused on by others.

Life is forever a journey of discovery!

Who is sitting at your table of 8 today?

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Lesson #45

“Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Whether you believe in a higher being or power, or not, life should be viewed as a gift.

You only have to be present at the birth of a new baby to understand the preciousness of each new life – it’s a beginning.

My life post divorce has been a gift.  When I started the journey, I would not have been able to say that.  I thought of it as a punishment and wondered what in the world I had done so awful that this was the outcome?

I have found a new voice in my head, and met many new and wonderfully strong women along the way.  I have found a voice through this blog, and a way to share feelings and receive validation of my own.

I’ve taken so many steps backward, but so many more forward – every day is progress, every day is a new beginning to be a better person.

Thank you for being my journey “gift” on the 45 Life Lessons.  I’m not going away, you’ll just not see me in your inbox every morning.   I look forward to exploring more of life’s gifts this year and even if they’re not tied up, all pretty and perfect, with a big frilly bow – I still look forward to receiving them.

May your journey be peaceful and full of love and adventure!  Blessings!

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Lesson #44

“Yield.”

My first thought with this word, or concept, was as it pertains to traffic and operating a motor vehicle.   I’m thinking I remember that we’re to yield to the right, or you yield to the car already in the intersection or a traffic circle, or the pedestrian in the crosswalk.  Slowing down to yield could save a life, or at the very least avoid a heavy repair bill.  But people don’t.

My second thought with this word was regarding certain political speeches where they “yield” the floor, but that doesn’t equate to agreeing to the other side’s point of view.   It’s politeness in politics.  (is that an oxymoron?)  But in most situations, people don’t.

My third thought was how it pertains to an argument or a fight.  To yield is, in essence, to give in or give up.  In our society, we’re built on competition and thrive on winning.  To yield would mean to lose – and that’s never looked upon favorably.  I don’t know many people who care to yield to a fight, once they’re in it.

In the equestrian world, there’s such a thing as a leg yield.  It’s simple, it’s just gently pressing against the side of your horse with the inside of your leg to get them to move over.  Once they do, you stop pressing.  They’ve done what you wanted, you reward them by taking the pressure off.

Maybe as this relates to a Life Lesson, it just means to take a step back.  Don’t be so unbending in your opinions.  Don’t be so blinded by your own that you can’t see the other side.  Maybe if you do, the pressure will stop?

 

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Lesson #43

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”

Well, strictly speaking, I suppose that’s true.  Although I note it’s not saying that if you do ask you WILL get, right?

This is kind of like the lottery officials telling you that if you don’t buy a ticket, you can’t win.

A simple truth but on a broader scale, I don’t really know how this works.

I’ve been out of the workplace a long time; I hear it said all the time that you should ask for promotions and salary boosts.  That would be hard for me, I’m one of those that always hopes to be recognized and rewarded because of merit – I’ve earned it.  I shouldn’t have to ask for it.

The world is a busy place though, and sometimes you are not going to get noticed, or helped if you don’t call attention to your needs, your wants, your desires.

Next time I feel really strongly about something I want, maybe I’ll take this approach?  It will need to be reasonable however, because I’m thinking that asking for something like a winning football season next Fall might be too much to hope for.

Baby steps . . .

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Lesson #42

“Take a deep breath.  It calms the mind.”

I’ve recently signed up to take a class about meditation.  Everyone I know that “does it”, swears by it.  I know they will tell me to focus on my breath.  I’ve tried before, without much success.

This time could be different!  But there is a reason when things happen that you hear people “sigh” – it’s taking a cleansing breath to settle what’s troubling you.

My mind is rarely calm, but I’m willing to try.  Let’s just hope I don’t hyperventilate, and the racket you hear isn’t me passing out!!

SIGH . . . . .

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Lesson #41

“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.”

I will if you will!

Seriously, as I write this I’m sitting in my bathrobe still, with both dogs asleep on my feet.

How easy is it for us to “cancel”, to not show up, to live the day in our workout clothes (whether we actually work out or not)?   Too easy for me.   I need to quit asking myself the question, “Do I really have to?”

Yes I do!

Our mothers got up, dressed up and showed up.

OK – off to shower . . .

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