“It’s OK to let children see you cry.”
Wow, I really lucked out on this one – if you can call it that. My sons were 26 and 23 when their father’s adultery came to light (in their eyes, I and my friends had known about it for 4+ years). I can’t imagine what it must be like to go through when you have young kids and they learn of a parent’s betrayal.
Seems to me this life lesson wants to humanize the drama and trauma of just being human. Humans cry when hurt – both physically and emotionally.
When my adult sons saw/heard me cry, it was not so much from the hurt, as from the sheer frustration of the divorce process itself. Sons do NOT like to see/hear their Mom’s cry – that much became clear. I did my best to keep it inside – but sometimes, it just burst forth.
I understand that they don’t want to see the other parent as a cad, a mean person, totally lacking in empathy and decency. It’s one of the main reasons I never told them while the first two affairs were going on; I tried so hard to spare them from the truth.
Today I would handle it differently, and I would let them know what it was doing to me. Today I would let them see me cry. The outcome would not be any different, except I probably would have been divorced in my 40’s instead of my 50’s.
Children have a tremendous ability to recover and rise above; you can let them see you cry. You are, after all, human.
suddenlysinglewomen 
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