Validation – I hadn’t thought about it much until this past week. I remembered the lines from the movie, “The Help” where the maid/housekeeper/nanny is telling her charge, a young little girl to always remember: “You is pretty, you is smart . . .” The maid knew that facing the world as a young woman this little girl would need to always remember that she is special. She was teaching her how to validate herself and her worth.
How often are we given validation? Not nearly enough, especially if you are in, or have been in a troubled relationship.
This past week I had the great fun of having a GF visit me while on vacation. We’ve known each other for years, but haven’t always lived in the same city, or shared very many times together just she and I. Our “ex” husbands worked for the same firm at first, that’s how we met. In her husband’s career they moved around, we did not. There were always Christmas cards, graduation announcements, wedding invitations to help keep in touch. Only recently though did we actually start spending real time together.
I got divorced first, she a couple of years after me. Same reason – adultery. I can remember calling her when I heard the news to offer my help and support having already been through it, and knowing what she was getting ready to face. In the past few years we’ve started seeing each other more often, even though we still reside in different cities.
So back to the validation part of this message. She and I have a shared past, a history and she more than just about anyone understands what I feel, and the reason why. We have so many things in common that explanations of how we feel are not necessary. She GETS IT!! She validates me.
Do you have someone in your life that can offer that to you? I hope so. I can’t tell you how great I feel after this week of spending time together and sharing stories about our kids, our futures, our pasts . . . There was no pressure to be someone I’m not, no guilt placed on me for my past hurt feelings or heartbreaks. She helps me to know “I am pretty, I am smart . . .” Thank you CW, I’m going to be OK!
suddenlysinglewomen 
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