suddenlysinglewomen

Surviving the unwanted divorce

Learning to trust again?

on March 29, 2012

I was married in the 70’s, a child of parents married in the 50’s and born during the depression.  My father and mother were married almost 50 years when my Dad passed away.  He had served in WW2 and Korea.  They understood and honored their vows, they trusted that through thick and thin, they’d be there for each other.  They trusted it and they lived it.  That’s what I learned growing up, that’s what I witnessed every day.  I was lucky.  I was the first divorce in my family.  Is it any wonder why I have trouble learning how to deal with it?

Flash forward to today.  I have a new foster GSD (German Shepherd Dog) in my house as of yesterday, I own two other rescue GSD’s.  We’re quite the pack on our daily walks.  As I’m getting to know this new GSD I’m seeing her struggle on the trust issue.  She doesn’t know me, she was a stray found under the bridge of the Sam Houston Tollway who was such a survivor it took her rescuer over a month or so to grab her.  Now that’s dedication to rescue.  How long before she begins to trust me?

I trusted a lot in my life.  I trusted as a child that my parents would take care of me.  I trusted as a wife that my husband would honor our vows.  I trusted my friends to support me through the difficult days, weeks and months of the divorce.  What I’m learning now is that I need to trust myself.  I need to trust that I have the strength to survive divorce.  I need to trust that I will make good decisions when it comes to taking care of myself because I can no longer trust that anyone else is going to do that for me.  I am hoping that one day I can trust that not all men lie, not all men cheat, not all men think only of themselves.  I’m trusting that when they made men like my Dad they didn’t “break the mold” and that my sons will grow up full of honor and integrity like their Grandfather had.

They say trust is freely given – the first time.  Once broken, it has to be earned back.  As I look into the sad eyes of my foster GSD this morning I so want her to know that she CAN trust me, I will not betray her, I will see to her needs.  Maybe together, we’ll both learn to trust again.

 

 

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4 responses to “Learning to trust again?

  1. Jinx Chiles says:

    When I hear someone say “Trust me,”; I say, “In God I trust!” That has been a hard lesson from my divorce.

  2. Katie Oh! says:

    What a great post! My ex had an 8 year affair while we were married and seriously deceived me throughout this time. Then he very cruelly dumped me one night after 30 years together.

    My ex is a classic narcissist, entitled to do anything he pleases because the rules of morality and decency simply do not apply to him. He truly believes he did nothing wrong. I am WAY over him, but he has left much lasting damage that he refuses to acknowledge.

    Among many other ill effects, I will never trust any man again. Sad! But now that I’m dating there appear to be many untrustworthy men out there, so perhaps–unfortunately– my jaded, distrustful world view is a fabulous new life skill!!!

  3. Beautiful post. I’m stuck in not being able to see myself alone for the rest of my life but also not seeing myself really be able to trust someone. It is going to take someone very special to ever shake me out of the sadness and I fear that person does not exist.

    • My friends assure me that special “someone” IS out there, I’m not so sure. But I’m trying to leave more and more to faith that what will be “will be”. I too never saw myself alone and I admit that I do not want to be alone but I’m learning to be patient, and to trust myself that I CAN be alone if I have to. Thanks so very much for posting, it encourages me every day when others share their like feelings.

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