Becoming the best version of yourself

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

on March 17, 2012

The clock just crossed midnight, and I’m still awake.  Can’t sleep for some reason, no big news flash, happens alot.  But as I lay there awake, I realized that it’s now officially St. Patrick’s Day.  The mind started thinking about “green” and so there you have it – my thoughts on green.  For the Irish and St. Paddy’s day it’s the “wearin’ of the green”.   Hmmmm, well I’ll have to think about wearing green later, hopefully after I get a few hours sleep, in the mean time . . . .

How about “green with envy?”  I know, I know – envy is supposed to be a bad thing.  We all try not to be envious but we’re human and sometimes we just can’t help it.  So what are you green with envy about???   I’m envious of couples.  When you’re  a single, you seem to notice that the world is full of couples.  Couples walking hand in hand.  Couples deep in conversation.  Couples finishing each other’s sentences.  Couples on a date.  Heck, we even use the term couple to refer to time such as “I’ll be there in a couple of minutes” or “I”ll be gone a couple of days”.  Couples are everywhere.  Couples are in a relationship, they have one another to count on.  In our society there’s a feeling of being inadequate if you’re not part of a couple.  Just look at seating in restaurants – count the number of chairs around the table.  It’s two, four, six, you get my meaning.

How about “the grass is always greener” – that’s a good one.  Why does that make me think of men?  Do they really think the grass is always greener?  Mine did.  He certainly went over the fence to get to the greener grass plenty of times.  Why do they always want more, why do they think there is something else better out there?  They’re afraid to commit because they could be missing something just around the corner that’s better than what they have.  Afterall, if you tire of your car, get a new one.  If your house isn’t big enough, buy a new one.  And if your wife isn’t the cutest, thinnest, sexiest, smartest, funniest model out there anymore, why stay around if the grass is greener . . . . ?

Green – the color of money.  Money can’t buy happiness they say.  True, but it sure can make life more comfortable.  Money was very important to my ex.  Even when we didn’t have it, we lived as if we did.  Then when we did have it, he made all the decisions having anything to do with it.  Now it’s being lavished on “the new wife”.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a pauper by any means and I’m grateful that I was able to have enough to take care of myself but what I had always assumed is that we would be enjoying it together.  We worked hard in those lean years and now we were supposed to be taking those trips and enjoying the fruits of our labor.  Now another woman who didn’t earn it, is enjoying it.  When you’re a single, you worry about money.  Will you have enough to take care of yourself?  Will you be able to do for the kids when they need it?  Money – gotta have it no matter what color it is.

Spring green.  It’s March so I suppose you could say it’s spring.  If you’re in the mountains, there’s still snow on the ground and it’s freezing at night so spring hasn’t sprung for you yet.  If you live in Texas where I’m from, spring comes for about a week, then it’s all about heat, humidity and worrying about how hot the summer will be this year.  I think “spring green” refers to when the plants and trees start to leaf out, and it symbolizes new growth and new beginnings.  Will this be the spring that I grow and start afresh, will I have the strength and fortitude to have a new beginning?  Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to see into the future and know that this will be the year that what happened before can’t hurt me anymore?  Will my spring finally be green?  Will yours?



4 responses to “Happy St. Patrick’s Day

  1. Mary Lynn Mabray says:

    We should get together and talk. We might be able to help one another. I’m doing an Internet venture that centers around recipes and women being dumped. Close to launching. I can always list you as one of our bright and shining contacts … put a link to your blog…It think our site is going to be a huge success. Those are the predictions, anyway from the advisors who see it. I love your name…for the blog. Reagan is doing great. She’s in her second year of Chinese Medical School. I’ll tell her you said “i”. Good to hear from you.

  2. Green is one of my favorite colors. It comes in many shades (which drives decorators crazy), but it represents the living or life in all its variations. Sometimes we just have to start small and we glad we are alive. As Kermit says, “its not easy being green”, but it certainly better than the alternative. I’m happy to be green. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

  3. Jinx Chiles says:

    I am crying, again, because all of these memories come back….come back??? They have always been here every day, since my life was left changed. I have never been able to get in a “support” group of single women and re-establish our lives. Most single women have to work, and they are too exhausted for a “life” to re-invent. It has been hard to “move on” without remarrying. That seems to be the only answer; however, it is not the answer I am going to pursue. Jinx

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