Becoming the best version of yourself

Alone again . . . . .

on March 7, 2012

The night – it follows the day.  It’s the time to relax after a full day.  It’s the time for dinner, maybe a bit of housekeeping.  It’s the time for TV and the DVR.  It’s the time to walk the dogs who have been alone all day.  It’s the time to deal with all the personal things that you don’t have time for during the working hours of the day.  It’s the time you feel  .  .  .  alone.

When married we had an active social life.  When the kids were little we had an active “kid’s activities” life.  We followed their soccer, baseball, basketball, lacrosse.  You always had things to do when you were a parent.  In our case we had kids early – by choice – so that we would have quality of life while young enough to still enjoy it after the kids were grown.  Who’s enjoying that life now????  My ex and his younger wife.  

Yep – all those things you give up when you’re younger???  All those trips you wait to take, those things you didn’t spend your hard earned money on so that the kids had all the things in life you wanted to provide them??  Everything you sacrificed for, good times just waiting to be shared when you were an empty nester?  They’re all being enjoyed right now – just not by you.

The new spouse.  What can I say??  They didn’t earn it, they weren’t there in the beginning when you had nothing.  But they’re darned sure enjoying it now.  You’ve been replaced – how simple is that?  You were a piece of the puzzle that’s been removed and another piece has taken your place.  You are history.  You’re a “has been”.  Life has moved on without you.  No one is looking back and saying, “Hey, what happened to the good ol’ girl?”  You’re saying – “What the heck happened?”

Alone again – that’s me.  It’s 11:00 p.m. and what do I have to look forward to but another day tomorrow, alone.  I hate it, it sucks, but it is now my life.  I’m a “single” whether I wanted it or not.  My “significant other” is my computer.  but at least it doesn’t steal the remote control . . . . .


3 responses to “Alone again . . . . .

  1. Kathy Jensen says:

    Redefining yourself after being a MRS is a hard task! But strong women are so capable of wearing many hats in life and finding pleasure and challenges in new roles. It take time to grieve and heal and move forward in our new skin, whatever the role change may be. There is no magic formula that fits us all as to how and when that transformation happens. Each of us is a unique and special human being; not perfect, just simply and beautifully human.

  2. Julie says:

    You are so accurate on all that you have written so far it is scary! I keep hoping I will have that moment where I know it was all worth it, but I’m still waiting!

    • It’s a sisterhood, and why I started writing, because we need to feel that we are not alone in the feelings that we have. Sorta relief in a way. When I look for the “worth it” in my past marriage, I have to look no further than my two sons. They are worth it. Like you, still waiting for the rest. : -)

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