suddenlysinglewomen

In Chapter Four of “With Or Without A Man” there’s a brief mention of “Married Friends” quoting:

   “I have a number of married friends.  Sometimes I get together with them, just as a couple, and sometimes I bring my married and single friends together.  It all depends on the activity, what we’re going to be doing.

The old adage “Two’s company, three’s a crowd,” or the phrase “the fifth wheel,” are relics of the past.  Many single women have found friendships with couples to be rewarding.”

Well – she’s a lucky girl!

I don’t know about you, all situations are different but I have found just the opposite.  I have many friends who are married, but when it comes to doing things with them as a “couple”?  Doesn’t happen.  Of course there are a precious few married couples from my “past” married life who I still see, but they are totally made up of couples where the wives’ were my friends first for many many years.

As to going out with them?  Not so much.  During the YOTD (Year of the Divorce), most of the couples that I considered really close friends fled from the chaos.  At a time when just an invite to meet them at the club or a restaurant for a quick bite would have meant SO much to me – they disappeared.  Perhaps they didn’t want to be seen as “taking sides?”    Was I wrong to be so hurt and so let down?  I’ve learned through the years that it’s a big mistake to assume that people will treat you the way that you would treat them in a similar situation.

Before my YOTD, I’d only had a couple of friends go through divorce.  However, I made a real effort to involve them in the things that we as couples had always done.  I made sure they didn’t sit home alone for dinner on their birthdays.  I checked in with them to see how they were doing and if there was anything I could do to help them through a painful time.

Have you had continued relationships with your “married friends” as couples or do you find it awkward to be the fifth person at a table for four?   Married couples hang out with married couples, you become the inconvenient friend.   Six years after the divorce I still miss the camaraderie I had with some of those couples but I’m learning to move on and let them go.

And to those couples who DO NOT mind hanging out with me??  Thank you from the bottom of my lonely heart.  You’ve earned a special place in that heart and you inspire me to keep moving forward.  I shall continue to “press on”!