Becoming the best version of yourself

Surviving The Holidays After Divorce – – –

on December 23, 2013

Well – we are officially in the “week of” and no matter the makeup of your family, it’s a stressful time.  In the best of family relationships, this week is tough trying to negotiate all the ins and outs of being with loved ones in concentrated doses.

For me – I don’t “do” Christmas at my home if I don’t have my kids around.  Yes, they are adults, but they’re still MY kids.  They do not now, nor will they EVER belong to “her”.  Yet for the sake of fairness, I have to understand that there will be times that I won’t have them under my roof when I awaken on Christmas morning.

The first Christmas post divorce they all were with me.  The second one was my Mother’s 90th birthday so I took she and my brother on a cruise.  It was bizarre.  It was the first Christmas in 28 years that I had not had an offspring with me.  I didn’t like it.  It was the sign of things to come however.  I’ve had to become creative to be someplace else when they’re not going to be with me.

There are many reasons that parents will be separated from their children this year – distance too far to travel, money too tight to get there, children fighting overseas, children who have lost their lives, children who have been abducted or run away – all devastating reasons and certainly a harsher reality than mine.  But in my heart of hearts, even though there are worse reasons many are dealing with, it still hurts to not have them around.

I hope you find a way to have a Merry Merry Christmas this year no matter where you are, who you are or are not with, and find a peacefulness in the “reason for the season”.  For me I’ll be celebrating my Mother’s 95th birthday away from home, but surrounded by love and putting on a “happy face” for when the kids do come – the day “after” . . .


4 responses to “Surviving The Holidays After Divorce – – –

  1. Bryn says:

    Your blog resonatedvwith me. All families have their challenges especially during the holidays. You are blessed to have children and your mother! Wake up Christmas thinking of the good things in your life. I will work to do the same.

  2. Margaret says:

    Thanks for telling me about your blog! I have enjoyed reading the recent ones and the archives, too. Have a Merry, Merry Christmas with your mother! Have a Merry, Merry Day After Christmas with your children!

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