It was my first birthday “divorced”, and I decided to take a trip so being “alone” wouldn’t feel so “alone” at home. It was 2008, June, and hot in Texas so clearly I was headed north.
I’d seen advertisements for The Grand Hotel, on Mackinac Island, Michigan. June was their Lilac Festival – It had been in a movie, it looked beautiful and perfect. I made a reservation for a week. After all, traveling eats up a whole day on the front end and the back end.
What brings me down this walk on memory lane you say?
When cleaning out the other day I came across a small (really small) journal of sorts that I’d only written in two pages. One page had a list of yarn colors for a needlepoint pillow I had done, guessing that my reasoning was if I ever wanted to do a companion piece, I’d know which colors of wool yarn I’d used. Pretty sure they don’t even make that yarn anymore, LOL!
The other page was full of short, random thoughts and questions that I’d obviously written on the first couple of days of that trip to Mackinac Island back in 2008. Clearly journaling didn’t last long for me. But reading through these thoughts, and wondering what on earth I must’ve been thinking was entertaining at this point of my life’s journey.
I’m a people person, I had hated being alone. I tried to find someone to go on this adventure with me. There was no one interested in going on the trip with me whether due to the time of the year, the cost, the distance . . . or maybe just me?
Some thoughts are clear, some I’m struggling to remember what I must’ve meant, but thought it would be interesting to share them with you. My closest friends know I can be really random at times, this certainly helps their case.
Here goes:
“4:30 alarm
Detroit delay, canceled, lost luggage by Delta, everyone on the plane calling someone about their cancelation, no one for me to call (unhappy face drawn here)
Chamber of Commerce? where do I stay, call Grand operator for help, Steven at the Grand, it’s an island, no more ferries even if I can get to Mackinac City
Darth Vader, slut, wind chill, bugs, driving rain and wind
Ladies from Alabama on a girls trip – I’m alone
Clothing memo – I’m in bright orange
Island? What island, only clouds and fog
Have I mentioned it’s cold?
The dress code, everyone is a “couple”
Barbara from yesterday, from Alabama, just said hello, that’s nice – are things looking up?
Smile, the bridge, can see it now
Really rough waters, is this a lake?
Note to self, travel with a granola bar . . . and change, and diet coke – this is a Pepsi state (another unhappy face!)
Lone sailboat – just like me, on rough waters of life
I see the island. I see the Grand – rises above all
Bathing suits – HA!
Ferry, cases of drinks, plants for landscape – an island after all
Carriages – not like my pampered pony!”
And then the writing ends. I did make it to the island, and I did eventually fill up my days with activities and had no time to write any more random thoughts. As I look back, I’m proud of being brave, of going it alone, and discovering that even though I prefer to have a pal – I don’t have to have one.
I sense from those notes the pain I was feeling at the time, but I don’t regret it because you have to go through the darkness to find the dawn, to find the light once again.
Here it is 10 years later, and I’m still taking trips alone because I’m no longer going to “wait”! Because what it tomorrow does’t come?
suddenlysinglewomen 