suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Family . . . ‘Nuff Said

I grew up in a fairly small family, all things considered.  Mother, Father, brother and me.  My parents were older when they married (thanks to WWII and Korea), so I really only ever had one grandparent that I remember well.  My brother never married and we’re not that close.

My father’s sister never married, so not alot of aunts, uncles, cousins to speak of on the paternal side.  My mother’s siblings did marry and have kids but we never really saw them.  My ex had siblings that married, had kids, and now those kids are having kids.  As with most ex situations, for the most part post divorce, they moved on.  There are a few exceptions, but not many.

Suffice to say when I refer to my “family”, it’s mostly my mother, my sons and their wives, and three grandchildren.   At 98, my mother doesn’t travel any more, sadly we’re not in the same town.  My sons lives are full of their wives, jobs and children now.  It’s a weird ‘in the middle” place that I find myself.

The life plan had been to be happily approaching retirement at this age, and exploring the world again as it started when first married – “on our own”.  That plan left me ten years ago.  So being “in the middle” alone is kinda weird . . . and at times lonely.

To toss around some grammar here, I no longer seem to have either affect or effect on their decisions or their daily lives.  That is their choice.  I am no longer necessarily “necessary”.  Ours is not a “Matriarchal” family set up.  I am on the outside looking in through their bubble.  They are happy in their bubble, so when I saw this post above, it put into words what I was feeling.

I have to love them “exactly as they are now”.  To wish otherwise gains nothing.  I pray nightly for my family generation ahead of me, and behind me.   We all bring value to this world.

 

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Approaching the Weekend – – –

I recently had lunch with a new friend, whom I met at my book signing party last year!  We connected through “social media”, and have subsequently found that we have much in common.  It doesn’t hurt that she feeds my ego by telling me how important my book is, and can be, to women.

SCORE!!

She gives it to her clients as a post divorce tool; she specializes in women being financially savvy when they find themselves “suddenly single” after divorce, or even in the case of the death of a spouse.

While she still explores the “hope” of “happily ever after” through dating, I expressed my willingness to “throw in the towel”.  I applaud her for sticking with it, and admit that the occasional hand-holding, hug, and dinner conversation are things that I still long for.  But how do your find that?

Not sure, but in the mean time, when this pic turned up on my FB feed, I took it as a sign . . . that for the mean time . . . it’s OK learning to be alone.  After all, what man is going to let me obsess over The Voice and it’s Finale?

Go Team Lauren!!   : -)

 

 

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The Art of the Thank You . . .

Thank you notes, a dying art form?

Not the way I was brought up.

You always said thank you.   You followed that up with a hand written thank you.

Even in these days of fast paced hectic lives, you should still take time to write a thank you.  (JMHO)  Even though it’s nice to receive something in the mail that isn’t a bill – – – I’ll allow that a text, email or phone call can suffice if you really don’t think you can sit down for twenty  seconds and write a thank you.

But can’t you?  You know how special it makes you feel when you receive one, don’t you think it makes the other person feel just as special when they receive one from you?

Yes, I admit it – it’s a soapbox for me.  And since the world seems to be moving away from any form of written communication, cyber space may soon become all we have to express our gratitude.  Makes me sad.

I have a friend who when I get off onto one of my bad behavior/good behavior soapboxes sarcastically says to me, “Thanks Mom”!  She thinks she’s insulting me, or telling me to back off.  She’s doing just the opposite, because I strive to be like my Mom, who at 98 still writes a handwritten thank you.  My Mom taught me the art of the thank you, and I’m grateful.

Think I’ll go write her one . . . (as soon as I climb down from my soapbox!)

 

 

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Same Song – Second Verse!

I’ve shared these thoughts before, and if you’re like me, after reading them you realize there are some people in your life, past or current, who fit the description.  We all have them.

The good news is, if you’re aware of it, you can change it – or at the very least, not let it alter your life in a negative way.  I’ve become very aware of how some personality types can try to manipulate you – my strength in resisting this has grown.  I feel sorry for them.

The better news is learning there are wonderful people in your life who do not feel that need to manipulate you, control you or drag you down.

The best news is going forward through what time on this earth I have remaining, and choosing to surround myself with happy, healthy and wholesome people who lift me up!  Today you too can choose to be one of those happy, healthy and wholesome people . . . and lift someone up.

We can make 2017 freakin’ awesome!  Who’s with me?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/9-signs-youre-dealing-with-an-emotional-manipulator_us_58a732fae4b026a89a7a2a2b?ncid=engmodushpmg00000006

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Being Authentic To Yourself . . .

Life is hard, we’re challenged every day.  Making the right decision when faced with a dilemma can be tough.  You weigh all your options but at the end of the day, you are best served being true to yourself.

This author calls it being authentic, I call it stressful – but I plan to do more of it in 2017.

Doesn’t really matter if you’re single and alone, or in a relationship and dealing with a partner.  At the end of every day, you are accountable for your decisions and your actions.  Perhaps choosing to be more authentic will shine a light on your future path.

Shut out all the crowd “noise” and listen to that inner voice.

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/13772102

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Tis The Season For Reflection:

Therefore I share another “share” from a friend!  After all, why recreate the wheel???

Thanks my red-headed wonder!!

Points to ponder…

1. Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble,
but it is a “steering wheel” that directs the right path throughout.

2. So why is a car’s windshield so large and the rear view mirror so small?
Because our past is not as important as our future. So, look ahead and move on.

3. Friendship is like a book. It takes few seconds to burn, but it takes years to write.

4. All things in life are temporary. If it’s going well, enjoy it, that won’t last long.
If it’s going badly, don’t worry, that won’t last long either.

5. Old friends are gold! New friends are diamond!
If you get a diamond, don’t forget the gold!
Because to hold a diamond, you always need a base of gold!

6. Often when we lose hope and think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, “Relax, sweetheart, it’s just a bend, not the end!”

7. When God solves your problems, you have faith in His abilities; when God doesn’t solve your problems, He has faith in your abilities.

8. A blind person asked St. Anthony, “Can there be anything worse than losing eye sight?”
He replied, “Yes, losing your vision!”

9. When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them;
sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you.

10. Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace .

If you enjoyed this, please pass on to others…

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As The Holidays Approach – Some Good Thoughts!

Whether you’re ready for them or not, the retail establishment has gotten ready for them!  What’s that you say?  “The Holidaze”!!  When I read my friend’s blog about being “prepared”, it made so much sense that I had to share.

This will be a leaner Christmas for me this year – by choice.  And no – I wish I meant my waistline, LOL!!  It’s time for me to remember the “reason for the season” and make some cut backs.  Well .  .  . OK, maybe not for the Grandkids, but for years I’ve gone a bit overboard just because I love giving.

Maybe it’s time to give more of “myself”, than purchased products to wrap and deliver.  It won’t be an easy transition, because I love coming up with surprise gifts that aren’t on the “wish list”. I love wrapping, and tagging, and arranging under the tree till there are so many boxes you have a hard time walking around them to get to the back door.

Whatever the holidaze bring to you and yours, please enjoy the shared link below with some really great ideas!  And may this festive time of the year bring you closer to those you love and cherish.

http://us12.forward-to-friend.com/forward/show?u=2faa118cd9fe72d8634827528&id=5bd1ba53b7

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Wish I Could Take Credit For This One!

But alas, it is another “share” and one that I have already forwarded on to many of my friends!  The friend that shared this with me is one of those great women you want to be just like.

Always a smile, always an encouraging word, known for her compassion she is and always has been, a true role model.  She is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside, and an inspiration to all who know her.  Enjoy these words of wisdom below, and share with those who are special to you.  Thank you CS, you are special to me!  : -)

AND, THEN, IT WAS WINTER.

“You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems that just yesterday, I was young, just married, and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.

But here it is, the winter of my life, and it catches me by surprise. How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go? I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like.

But here it is, my friends are retired and getting gray, they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than I, but I see the great change. Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant, but like me, their age is beginning to show. And, we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we’d be. Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And, taking a nap is not a treat anymore, it’s mandatory. Because if I don’t by my own free will, I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so now, I enter this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done, but never did. I know that though the winter has come, I’m not sure how long it will last.

Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn’t done, things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I’m happy to have done. It’s all in a lifetime.

If you’re not in your winter yet, let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life do it quickly. Don’t put things off too long. Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not. You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life, therefore live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past.

Life is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one.
LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY! HAVE A GREAT DAY! It is health that is real wealth, not pieces of gold and silver.

LASTLY, CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING: TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU’LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

Your children are becoming you, but your grandchildren are perfect. Going out is good, coming home is better. You forget names, but it’s OK, because other people forgot they even knew you.

You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything…especially golf. The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don’t care to do them anymore.

You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It’s called “pre-sleep.” You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch.
You tend to use more 4-letter words, “What?” “When?”
Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it’s not safe to wear it anywhere. You notice that everything they sell in stores is sleeveless. What used to be freckles are now liver spots. Everybody whispers. You have three sizes of clothes in your closet, two of which you will never wear. But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old Movies, and best of all, “Old” Friends.

Stay well, “Old” Friend. Send this on to other “Old” Friends and see if they laugh in AGREEMENT.

It’s Not What You Gather, but What You Scatter, that tells what kind of life you have lived.”

Have a great day everyone!!

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Another Great Share!! (i.e. I have the greatest followers!)

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When Someone Says It Better – – –

Then I plan to just “share”.   After all, why reinvent the wheel, as they say??  I hope you enjoy this as much as I did, and gather wisdom from her very wise words!  Thoughts for a Monday morning!

 

http://vickiarcher.com/2016/06/better-not-younger-moment/?utm_source=Vicki+Archer&utm_campaign=225ed29783-Vicki_Archer6_6_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_bd9a6a1e81-225ed29783-130718649&goal=0_bd9a6a1e81-225ed29783-130718649&mc_cid=225ed29783&mc_eid=19578d6902

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