suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

One More Time – With Feeling (and apologies that my “cut and paste” is clearly out of whack!)

I’ve    
learned….
 
That when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve    
learned ….
 
That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve    
learned….
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve    
learned….
That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in any other way.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
 I’ve    
learned….
That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
 I’ve    
learned….
That money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve    
learned….
That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
 I’ve    
learned…
That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I’ve    
learned….
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
 I’ve    
learned….
 That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve    
learned….
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I’ve    
learned….
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
 I’ve    
learned….
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I’ve    
learned….
 
That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
 I’ve    
learned….
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That I wish I could have told my Mom/Dad that I love her/him one more time before she/he passed away.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I’ve    
learned….
 
That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, you’re hooked for life.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
I’ve    
learned….
 
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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Borrowed From A Friend – – –

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
when you’re in love, it shows.

I’ve    
learned ….
 
That
just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.

I’ve    
learned….
That    
having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings
in the world.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
being kind is more important than being right.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve    
learned….
That    
I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in
any other way.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That
no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend
to act goofy with.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That
sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
 I’ve    
learned….
That    
simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a
child did wonders for me as an adult.
 I’ve    
learned….
That    
money doesn’t buy class.

I’ve    
learned….
That    
it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
 I’ve    
learned…
That    
under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and
loved.

I’ve    
learned….
That    
to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
 I’ve    
learned….
 That    
when you plan to get even with someone,
      you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
love, not time, heals all wounds.

I’ve    
learned….
That    
the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people
smarter than I am.
I’ve    
learned….
That    
everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
 I’ve    
learned….
That    
no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I’ve    
learned….
 
That
life is tough, but I’m tougher.
 I’ve    
learned….
 That    
opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That
when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she
passed away.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That
one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have
to eat them.

I’ve    
learned….
 
That
a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I’ve    
learned….
 
That
when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist,
you’re hooked for life.
 I’ve    
learned….
 
That
everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and
growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
I’ve    
learned….
 
That
the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
Leave a comment »

When People Get You Down?

Be the opposite.   Be that person in someone’s life that puts a smile on their face and in their heart.

The older I get, the more I notice there are some really grumpy people out there.  Yes, maybe life has dealt them alot of sh*t, but they are never going to feel better about their life by making someone else’s miserable.  Neither will you.

I read once that Jacquelyn Kennedy was a person who would look you in the eye while listening to you, and never scan the room for the “better deal”.  She was known to make you feel like the ONLY person in that room.

Every body is a somebody!  Don’t ever be that person that makes them feel “less than”.

There’s a wonderful company out of Colorado that produces a great line of tees and hoodies (as well as other products).  Great fabrics but greater message.   If you get a chance, head on over to:  “Be Good To People” and check out their products.  I met them one summer in Colorado and have been following their story (as well as purchasing their product line).

What a simple message.  I love this message and the family owned business that promotes it.

So this week?  Be good to people and make everybody feel like somebody!!

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Being Positive!

Do you enjoy daily reminders of how to live a more positive life?  I know I do, but sometimes I don’t “listen”.   When crazy things continue to happen, and you think you’re living life the best that you can, and you’re trying your darnedest to not let the negative thoughts in – sometimes a gentle nudge is all it takes.  Sometimes “listening” is hard.  It’s easy to wallow in the “why me” self pity party.  So here’s a daily reminder below!  Read and implement!!

You can follow these on Facebook, or order his books from Banlican House Publishers or Amazon.  But the most important thing?  Don’t get so down on yourself – look for the positive.  BELIEVE!

Jim’s Daily Awakenings

Many people suffer from low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is dangerous because, like a magnet, it attracts bad things to us. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth.

How can low self-esteem be repaired? Here are eight suggestions:

1. Refuse to indulge in negative thoughts or self-criticism; low self-esteem feeds on negative thoughts

2. Become aware of negative self-talk; continually substitute positive affirmations.

3. Choose to be yourself; you cannot be successful at reading some else’s script.

4. Be true to yourself; live consistently by the highest and best you know.

5. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your strengths and believe in you.

6. Trust your gut; what instinct is to an animal, the Holy Spirit is to you.

7. Begin each day and conclude each day by feeding your brain positive truths.

8. Visualize your dreams as realized.

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A Great Share – – – Because Who Of Any Of Us Is Perfect?

Written by Vicki Archer and shared with me from the always amazing Carol S.

 

Who is perfect? What is perfect? Where is perfect?

Nothing is ever perfect and yet we strain ourselves constantly in this fruitless quest. I was guilty of this. Always striving to create the perfect everything and it is exhausting. Perfectionism is a bit of a fool’s game and those who play set themselves up for disaster. A lack of confidence, a feeling of discontent and perennial dissatisfaction are only some of the downsides.

Our best selves do not need to be perfect.

That doesn’t mean to say, near enough is good enough; doing our very best is everything. It doesn’t need to break us or depress us; trying to be the best version of us should be uplifting and create happiness. Once the unattainable idea of “perfect” interferes, trouble starts.

Some are perfectionists and some aren’t.

I have always believed it is a bit of a curse. Yes, it can lead to massive creativity and great levels of achievement but that standard of self-expectation is tough. Nothing ever eventuates as you imagined and a job is never done.

It’s a hard habit to break.

My Better Not Younger philosophy has helped me think this through.

Aging in the most fortunate case is not something we escape and it does have challenges; it is foolish to pretend otherwise. I want to turn the challenges into positives, into advantages. Focusing on what I can do in a real sense is very important while at the same time maintaining an active and healthy appetite for those challenges.

Trying to be perfect is not going to cut it anymore. It is a thankless pursuit. I do not want to encourage laziness or lack of adventure and spirit – far from it – but I do want to take the stress out. Perfectionism can foster a fear of failure and that’s the last thing we want.

 

How do we dial down the perfect and continue to be productive?

Relax.

Take the stress out and enjoy the process. If we are relaxed so will everything else.

 

Understand value.

Sometimes the value is disproportionate to the amount of time we spend on it. It is important to think clearly and be aware of what “value” is. Will a dinner party be a disaster if you seek help or fuss less? Most likely not. The joy is in the inviting and spending time with friends.

 

Remove unrealistic expectations.

Don’t we all have these? We push ourselves too hard.

 

Don’t overthink.

Overthinking, wanting to get it “just right” is a direct path to inaction. Making decisions, even when they don’t feel “perfect” can be liberating and set about a course of action that’s truly life-changing. Waiting in the wings, being an understudy is not where we want to stay. We have one chance, let’s take it.

 

Who wants to be perfect? Not me anymore. xv

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Where Has The Summer Gone?

OK – admittedly in the southwest where I’m from, summer is still in full fiery rage.  Heat advisories popping up in my inbox and on my phone.  It’s an inferno out there.  It’s why I run away and hide in cooler climes for a little “Rocky Mountain High”.  Tho’ whether John Denver meant a different kind of high, I’m all about the higher altitude for cooler weather.

Hummingbirds, summer flowers, afternoon showers, a flowing river still high from snow melt, windows open at night – yup, my summer is all about my “alternative universe”.  My family just left from a week long visit – lots of activities, especially to keep the “youngers” busy, because we all know a bored “younger” can get into all kinds of trouble.  (Of course, so can an adventurous elder with my newly favorited summer drink – F’rose, pronounced “fro-zay”)  But I digress . . .

This summer has been an interesting one, few things have gone my way, but I still find myself to be one incredibly lucky individual.   When my dogs escaped through a broken invisible fence, two good samaritans stopped to help retrieve.  When my car died in the garage, more good samaritans changed my battery and got me “drivable”.  When I needed help of the “IT” variety, a friend jumped in and got me hooked up again.

Every where I look, I’ve had help from friends and strangers.  I proclaimed in January that this was going to be “my year”!  Not really knowing what exactly that would bring along, I just knew it was my turn.  Even though I’ve had great acts of kindness shown to me, at the end of the day – it’s up to me to decide if I’m going to let Murphy’s Law tank me?  Or shall I make the most/best of what life dishes out and keep looking forward?

It’s now been almost 12 years since my divorce and it’s incredible the way I have flourished and grown, much more so than I ever thought I would.  I’ve survived two bad accidents and a frivolous lawsuit.  I’ve published a book and become a #1 Best Seller on Amazon.  I’ve had two sons get married, become a grandmother four times and broadened my friend base since my life took that 180 degree turn around back in 2006/2007.

So I guess instead of asking “where has the summer gone?” I should really be wondering where has the last 12 years gone?  Just keep being happy friends!

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A Daily Reminder!

So many different versions of this, but the message is always the same.

With all we are bombarded with in the media these days, it’s hard to believe there is truly anyone out there that has “it”.  That’s Integrity with a capital “I”.

What do YOU do when no one is watching?  I’d like to think that it comes second nature to us all  I’d also like to think that I will always do the right thing, no matter whether I have an audience or not.

I think I do, I certainly try hard to.  But maybe I’ll use this reminder today just to make sure.

Integrity is the key for good societal behavior, especially when no one is watching you.  Will you display it today?

2 Comments »

Since When Is Life “Convenient”?

It’s been a crazy, sometimes sad, sometimes irritating start to my summer.  When I look at all the things I’ve had to deal with, I fear most people would say “Huh?  I should be so lucky to have THOSE problems!”

It’s not even so much all the things that have broken, needed replaced, quit working etc., it’s more that it just keeps happening and like the old football penalty used to be called:  “piling on”!

Literally was out walking the dogs, having a conversation with the universe saying basically, “OK – enough’s enough!  Let’s get this bad karma turned around!”   And I get in the car to take a friend to catch her van to the airport and the car is DEAD!  I look heavenward and say, “Really???  This is how you answer me?”

BUT – in each case, I’ve had the support of really wonderful friends, and even some strangers, that have stepped up to help.  It still costs me time and money to deal with all these repairs, replacements and redos – but I know I’m not alone.

It’s not always convenient to be my friend.  Heck, I’m sure there are times when it’s not fun at all – but they still show up for me when that black karma cloud just refuses to go sit over someone else’s head.

Whether it’s my GF’s husband and son who came to jump my dead car, assess the problem, go to Walmart and buy me a new battery and install it, or the neighbors who stopped by to check on me after having to put one of my GSD’s down (after she quit eating and lost the use of her legs), or the visiting GF who helped me set up my new printer, replacing the one that just decided to quit, or the Good Samaritan and his son who stopped their car when my dogs busted through the Invisible Fence (that the landscapers had cut unbeknownst to me) and chased a deer through and across a heavily traveled road and caught them unharmed – it’s been ONE OF THOSE SUMMERS!

There is kindness still out there even though we don’t see it much on the news anymore.  And there are people who will show up for you even when it’s not at all convenient!  I’m trying to remember that and be grateful!

3 Comments »

I’ve Got My Left-Turn Blinker ON!!

 

Ha!!  It’s been a crazy 10 days, and when I saw this, I definitely decided I need a direction change.  I gotta tell you, that little rain cloud over my head is getting durned annoying.

A week ago Thursday, had to put down one of my dogs.  They’re all special, and she was 13 1/2, but she was my spirit animal.  Rescued her after my divorce was final, and we moved into our new “single life” home together the first night.  It was really hard letting her go.

Less than a week after that, my other two escaped the yard that has an electric fence, that unfortunately had been severed by the landscapers – bad time to find out.  Chasing a deer, pretty instinctual, but not having the fence working certainly didn’t slow them down.  Good samaritan to the rescue, I thought my luck was changing.  Crossing the heavily traveled road hot on the tail of that deer, well . . . . let’s just say everyone is amazed that those dogs survived their adventure.  (Longest 11 minutes of my life, as my FitBit watch recorded my heart rate during the chase as being on an elliptical)

Then the printer decides to die, printhead error – what the heck is a printhead?  So FINE!!  I’ll start looking for a good replacement.  And I’ll be able to go buy it when the car (that died in the garage Saturday) recovers from a dead battery drained by an alternator that needs to be replaced because YES – I really really wanna spend that extra $500??

OK – enough whining, but starting tomorrow – that left turn blinker will be flashing BRIGHT!

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It’s Birthday Week!

Ha!!!  People used to say, “It’s better than the alternative”!  “WHATEVER”!

For some reason I’m really starting to feel it.   Maybe that comes hand in hand with the fact that I’ve entered the world of Medicare?  Or looking at drawing Social Security?  Or my kids are getting older therefore surely I must be also?

If your eldest just turned 39, . . . well . . . you do the math.

So this Birthday Week I’ll try to feel more spry.  I’ll ignore the wrinkles (easiest to do without reading glasses or a 10X makeup mirror!).  I’ll ignore the newest pain of an achilles tendon while I try to get my 10,000 steps in.  I’ll ignore this Keto diet thing so I can have birthday cake (or birthday pizza – yum!).

And I’ll enjoy hearing from my friends and family because I guess turning another year older, and acknowledging being able to get Senior Citizen discounts at the movies, really is better than the alternative.  Just sayin’ . . .

 

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