suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

A Fun Read!

I own a Kindle, and I’ve downloaded plenty of books, but somehow I feel like I need to get through all the “paper” versions of books stacked under my night stand first!  Therefore on a recent flight, I pulled out, and finished a book I received at a luncheon about 6 years ago!

(Well to be fair to myself, over the past few years I have gained two daughter n’laws and 2 1/2 grandchildren so I have been very busy with those needlepoint stockings!)

This is a fun and quick read for women and I think you might enjoy it.  It’s called:

“The Seven Women Project” – Your Personal Guide to Success in Work, Play and Dress.  It’s written by a Mother/Daughter duo from Houston by the names of:  Karen McCullough & Meredith McCullough.  Long time women shoppers from Houston will remember their store, Me Too . . . Me Too.

Anyway – back to the book – it’s a cleverly written compilation of 7 women’s personalities, their passions, their drive (or lack thereof), their style, their likes and dislikes!  If you read it, will you admit to being one of them?  Or could you be a combination?  It was easier for me to see who I wasn’t vs. who I was.

For information on the book, you can go to:  info@thesevenwomenproject.com

Or checkout their website/blog at:  www.thesevenwomenproject.com

 

 

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Another Great Share!! (i.e. I have the greatest followers!)

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It’s Almost Football Season!!

Yep – I admit it, I’m a football fanatic.  I’m VERY loyal to my teams, heck, I’m very loyal period.

If you know anything about college football, most especially my alma mater, then you know “Coach” – the former head football coach of the University of Texas at Austin – Darrell K. Royal.  When he passed several years ago, an icon was lost – but not his “wisdom” which still lives on today.

As we face trials in our lives, and we are ready to give up, or give in, may his words become an inspiration to all of us:

As long as a person doesn’t admit he is defeated, he is not defeated – He’s just a little behind and isn’t through fighting.”

We are not done fighting!

Bring on Notre Dame!!!!   : -)

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When Someone Says It Better – – –

Then I plan to just “share”.   After all, why reinvent the wheel, as they say??  I hope you enjoy this as much as I did, and gather wisdom from her very wise words!  Thoughts for a Monday morning!

 

http://vickiarcher.com/2016/06/better-not-younger-moment/?utm_source=Vicki+Archer&utm_campaign=225ed29783-Vicki_Archer6_6_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_bd9a6a1e81-225ed29783-130718649&goal=0_bd9a6a1e81-225ed29783-130718649&mc_cid=225ed29783&mc_eid=19578d6902

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Building From The Top Down?

Won’t work.  You don’t build anything from the top “down”.  Picture if you will, a house being built.  If you tried to start with the roof, what would hold it up?  Where’s the strong foundation to support it?

One brick at a time, brick by brick – sounds like the lyrics to a country western song, although that certainly dates me as now they just refer to it as “country”!

When people tell you that after your divorce you just try to take it one day at a tie, putting one foot in front of the other.  You’re rebuilding your life, whether you are divorced or widowed, it’s the same.  What you had – is gone.  Poof!

The life you had, even if you felt you had worked your way up to the “top”, is non existent.  You cannot rebuild it from the top down.  You’re going to have to start over whether you want to or not.  Finances may not be the same, certainly family and friends are not going to be the same.  Your purpose in life has suddenly altered and you are starting over.  You’re foundation has shifted as it does in an earthquake – a good synonym for life after divorce, an earthquake hit you and everything has crumbled and fallen down.

So you get yourself up, dust yourself off and as Frank Sinatra once said, “Get back in the race”.

One brick at a time . . . brick by brick . . . one foot in front of the other . . . one day at a time.

 

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Happy Summer – Enjoy!

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Suddenly Solo?

This statistic is an eye opener!  I just read where there are over 19 million singles over the age of 55!

Wow, that’s a whole lot of people sitting on a sofa eating alone while watching TV on any given night.

No wonder those administrators of Social Security are so worried, they should be!  We are a staggering number.

I can also see why all those dating websites continue to thrive, and give us (false) hope that there really IS someone out there that we can grow old with together.

The breakdown that I would find even more telling would be this – of those 19 million singles over the age of 55, what are the percentages:

  1.  How many are single and have never been married?
  2. How many are single because of divorce?
  3. How many are single because they lost a spouse due to death?

You wonder how many are single because they want to be, and of that number, how many because they never trusted marriage and are happy in their “solo-ness”?  How many are single because they’re divorced and their heart was broken and will never trust again.  Of that number, how many are female, how many are male?

I would love to see a better breakdown, but until then, I remain curious, and curiously alone . . . uh, I mean single.

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Here’s To Finding “Contentment” . . .

“Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us”.

I believe in some corners this is referred to as the Serenity Prayer.  Serenity, contentment, are these things that we can strive for and ever find in our busy lives?

I recently took a Meditation and Happiness class.  It was two classes, offered on consecutive Friday evenings at a nearby University.  Sure, why not?  What else am I doing on a Friday night?  Wink Wink . . .

The teacher had been trained by Tibetan Monks, had spent time with the Dali Lama.  (Did I spell that right?)   He had the lose flowing garments, and looked like a yogi.  He had his floor mat and pillow, spoke soothingly, taught us about breathing and releasing the mind.  I came closer to “getting it” than I ever have before, but still . . .

His mantra was much shorter than the one above, and focused on seeking “happiness”.  I have a friend who refers to it as seeking “quiet”.  Semantics.

I do believe that as I get older, it is important for me to move farther away from the frenetic life I used to thrive on, and those people who keep it that way.  Therefore, as it says above, I desire to be content with myself, and allow my soul the freedom, and dare I add – joy, to sing, dance, praise and love!

I wish these things for all of  you.

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Drama Queens??? Who Needs Them??

“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”

If getting back up is living, then I am alive and well!

When I was very young, being a child of older parents – I was always around much older adults.  There was more than the fair share of cranky old women and men.  I never understood why they were always in a bad mood.  I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with me, but I wondered what made them that way?

I promised myself then and there that I would not grow up to be a cranky old woman.

Uh Oh!

Now that I myself am an adult, surrounded by other adults – I think I’m beginning to understand.  I still don’t want to be “one of them, the cranky ones” – but I’m starting to understand the how and why they got that way.  The difference today?  I can make a choice to not let it turn me into the same thing.  I can remove myself.

When I read the above statement, it was like a very bright light bulb went off in my brain.  By nature I am the fixer, the pleaser, the consensus builder – but some people just do not want to be happy.  They thrive in their “poor me” land.  It’s the way they seek attention.  Not this woman.  Much like the past post I wrote several years ago about the “bobbin” on top of the water?  That’s me, I’m going to pop back up onto the surface.

Scroll back up and read the quote again.  Decide to walk away from the Drama Queens (or Kings) in your life.  Reside in a place where people make you laugh, and show you respect.  It’s hard to walk away, some of these people have been in my life for 30+ years, but they’re weighing me down.  I will be the Phoenix rising from the ashes, see me soar!

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Changing Your Expectations?

A friend recently shared this little snippet, pretty sure there’s more where this came from so I’ll include the credit and link below should you choose to scope out more!  This one tho’, speaks loudly to me.  Read it first, then I’ll share my thoughts!

By:  Danielle LaPorte at #Truthbombs.   http://bit.ly/truthbombs

Truthbomb: “People are going to be who they are most of the time. In character, not out of character. We are — for better or for worse — generally predictable. So there’s a lot of sanity in just flowing with someone’s nature. Accept it. Forgive it. Just tolerate it. Or peace out if you don’t want it in your life. But don’t waste too much time trying to change it.”

Not long ago I was sharing something I’d read with a group of my GF’s.  I was commenting on how very sad it is that advice these days tells us if we don’t want to be disappointed in people, we should “lower” our expectations.  That just goes against everything I was taught and shown as a child of the 50’s.

Later, as a teacher, I was constantly reminded that my students would live up to my expectations.  If I didn’t expect much from them, they would give me just that – not much.  If I expected really good things from them, and held them to a high standard, they rarely let me down.

As I grow older in this 21st century, I am sad to report tho’ that a lot of people just don’t give a “sh*t” about what you think about them or their actions.  According to the quote above, I’m just supposed to tolerate it.

My biggest mistake I have found, is expecting people to handle situations the same as I would.  Politeness and good manners – what happened to them?  Everyone is so focused on their own needs, that thinking of others first, has disappeared.  That is a very sad state of affairs.

So maybe it’s time for me to take the last line above to heart, and not waste too much time trying to change it, or the people around me?  I’ll just be content to know that I will continue to put other’s needs first, knowing that I am no saint – but I am polite, have good manners and will continue to be so.

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