suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Jul 7

Each Day A Gift – Up To You How To Spend It?

by suddenlysinglewomen

Rumored to have been found in the wallet of Coach Paul Bear Bryant on his death in 1982, whether it was or not, it’s still a good thing to share and “ponder”.  How will you spend it today?

The Magic Bank Account

Imagine that you had won the following *PRIZE* in a contest: 
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400 in your private account for your use.
However, this prize has Rules:
The set of Rules:
 
1. Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.
 
2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
 
3. You may only spend it.
 
4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that day.
 
5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time, it can say, Game Over!” It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.
 
What would you personally do?
 
You would buy anything and everything you wanted right?  Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for.  Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
 
You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?
 
ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL…   Shocked ???    YES!
 
Each of us is already a winner of this *PRIZE*. We just can’t seem to see it
 
The PRIZE is *TIME*
 
1. Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of Life.
 
2. And when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is not credited to us.
 
3. What we haven’t used up that day is forever lost.
 
4. Yesterday is forever gone.
 
5. Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING…
 
SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?
 
Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.  
Think about it and remember to enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.
 
So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!
 
Here’s wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day.
Start spending….
 
“DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT GROWING OLD !”
 
SOME PEOPLE DON’T GET THE PRIVILEGE!

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Jun 30

Safe Fourth of July Everyone!

by suddenlysinglewomen

As I write this, I’m sitting here looking out my window at my summery flower garden!  Things are really starting to bloom and the colors are profuse.  My favorite view.  Many red geraniums look great with the small American flags I put out in the flower pots, and along the flower beds every year at his time!

While it’s a pretty view, it’s filled with sadness this week because on Monday I had to put down one of my Shepherds.  He was a rescue, and had been my very first foster.  He was adopted three times and returned three times.  I finally got the memo that in HIS mind, he’d already found his perfect home.   Every time I delivered him to his new adoptive family, and came back home without him, my female shepherd (also a rescue) would look at me like . . . . “where is he?”  “What have you done with my friend?”  To say they were a bonded pair is an understatement.

She did the same thing Monday afternoon when I came back from the vet’s office, and is still searching the house for him.  I think the last time I cried this much was during my divorce process.  Since that was ten years ago, I’ve been storing up alot of waterworks.

One of the flower beds has white iris blooming – they were from my grandmother’s garden originally, then transferred to my mother’s garden, then to mine.  When I receive his ashes, they will go there, and also down by the river below the house where my pair loved to walk.  It’s a huge loss, and a hole in my heart.

Having a husband walk out on you forces you to make many changes; there is such turmoil and unhappiness and loss that you have to figure out how to live with.  It’s like a shot gun blast to the gut and it takes a long while sometimes to put all those pieces of yourself back together.  You think you will never feel normal again, but you will.  I now have a freedom that I never experienced before – a freedom to be “me”.

What I’m realizing now is that while I was grieving in 2006-2007 after the loss of 30 years of marriage, what I was losing was a person who put conditions on his affections.  Losing my big ol’ goofy boy Blanco is losing an UNconditional love.   Even when I fussed at him, he would look at me with such gratitude for saving him from the streets as a stray.

I have appreciated this week that he was the one that did the saving.   He saved me, he put his paw print on my heart and brought such healing to my soul.  Both of my Shepherds have done that – given me their unconditional devotion and affection.  If you have pets, you probably understand exactly what I’m talking about.

I only got to have B in my life for 8 years, but those have been some of the best years of my life.  We grew in confidence together, we gave each other purpose and unconditional love.  So these next days while we as a nation celebrate the birth of our great country, I will also be celebrating the birth of my new “post divorce” life and how much I’ve grown in the past ten years.  I will be thankful for my freedom, and thankful for the love I was offered by a 100 pound white giant of a dog – who will forever remain in my heart.

Happy Fourth of July!

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Jun 7

Just Couldn’t Resist – – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

 

When I saw this, I chuckled!  I used to always think of myself as a “glass half full” person.  I know many people who definitely are “glass half empty”.

But now we can all be happier, because hey – – – we can refill it!

Happy summer.

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May 30

Family . . . ‘Nuff Said

by suddenlysinglewomen

I grew up in a fairly small family, all things considered.  Mother, Father, brother and me.  My parents were older when they married (thanks to WWII and Korea), so I really only ever had one grandparent that I remember well.  My brother never married and we’re not that close.

My father’s sister never married, so not alot of aunts, uncles, cousins to speak of on the paternal side.  My mother’s siblings did marry and have kids but we never really saw them.  My ex had siblings that married, had kids, and now those kids are having kids.  As with most ex situations, for the most part post divorce, they moved on.  There are a few exceptions, but not many.

Suffice to say when I refer to my “family”, it’s mostly my mother, my sons and their wives, and three grandchildren.   At 98, my mother doesn’t travel any more, sadly we’re not in the same town.  My sons lives are full of their wives, jobs and children now.  It’s a weird ‘in the middle” place that I find myself.

The life plan had been to be happily approaching retirement at this age, and exploring the world again as it started when first married – “on our own”.  That plan left me ten years ago.  So being “in the middle” alone is kinda weird . . . and at times lonely.

To toss around some grammar here, I no longer seem to have either affect or effect on their decisions or their daily lives.  That is their choice.  I am no longer necessarily “necessary”.  Ours is not a “Matriarchal” family set up.  I am on the outside looking in through their bubble.  They are happy in their bubble, so when I saw this post above, it put into words what I was feeling.

I have to love them “exactly as they are now”.  To wish otherwise gains nothing.  I pray nightly for my family generation ahead of me, and behind me.   We all bring value to this world.

 

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May 19

Approaching the Weekend – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

I recently had lunch with a new friend, whom I met at my book signing party last year!  We connected through “social media”, and have subsequently found that we have much in common.  It doesn’t hurt that she feeds my ego by telling me how important my book is, and can be, to women.

SCORE!!

She gives it to her clients as a post divorce tool; she specializes in women being financially savvy when they find themselves “suddenly single” after divorce, or even in the case of the death of a spouse.

While she still explores the “hope” of “happily ever after” through dating, I expressed my willingness to “throw in the towel”.  I applaud her for sticking with it, and admit that the occasional hand-holding, hug, and dinner conversation are things that I still long for.  But how do your find that?

Not sure, but in the mean time, when this pic turned up on my FB feed, I took it as a sign . . . that for the mean time . . . it’s OK learning to be alone.  After all, what man is going to let me obsess over The Voice and it’s Finale?

Go Team Lauren!!   : -)

 

 

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May 13

Happy Mother’s Day Weekend!

by suddenlysinglewomen

Thought this was pretty adorable.  And since I don’t really have any plans solidified for Sunday, Mother’s Day, it seemed a fun pic to share with you all.

I am a Mother, twice over, but doesn’t look like there are any plans afoot so I’ll come up with something fun on my own, or with others.  I’m lucky in that my Mother is still alive, and at 98, still a pretty cool mom to be around.  She gets a bit forgetful, buy hey – she’s earned the right.

She taught me alot through the years, and though we won’t be in the same city this year like we were last year, she was thrilled with the card I sent her because if was full of photos of her great grand children – “3”!!!  Mic drop – – – my job here is done!!   I need do nothing else because she is one happy Mother with new photos to show off.

You may not be a Mother, or you may have lost your own Mother, and this day may not bring you joy – and for that I’m sorry, and am sending you a cyber hug!  I think of all the Mothers out there who have lost children through drugs, or reckless driving, or school shootings, or war, or disease – how hopeless they must feel on this day, and I send them my prayers.

It may be classified as a “Hallmark” holiday, but it still means something to me.  Being a Mother is one of the toughest, and most unappreciated jobs around.  So give a Mother a hug this weekend.  She may really need it more than she shows, or more than you know.

A hug is an OK thing to be premeditated!

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Apr 12

Surround Yourself With The Best!

by suddenlysinglewomen

Probably you’re thinking that I mean products, things, or places – but I don’t.  Today I share from “The Rhythm of Life” and Matthew Kelly:

“The people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our standards.  They either help us to become the-best-version-of-ourselves or encourage us to become lesser versions of ourselves.  We become like our friends.”

I’ve been very introspective on friendships lately.  Could be because I’m getting older?  Could be because those I thought were friends I could depend on, disappointed me?  Could be because my circle of friends has become smaller yet tighter?

Maybe I’m making smarter, healthier choices because I really do want to become the-best-version-of-myself!

Wha’dya think?

 

 

 

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Apr 3

Sports As It Relates To Life?

by suddenlysinglewomen

Happy Monday everyone!!  Hope your weekend was restful and restorative!

I’ve “cut and paste” from a friend’s blog something that I really enjoyed reading.  And even though this is written in relation to “sports”, and the dedication to getting “better”, I found it great to think about in terms of everyday life dealing with work, family, friends, just about all areas of your daily life.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!  This is written by the author of “Moments”, a book listed on my blog as a “GoodRead”!

Consider the following questions and how they might apply to your life:

Do you give up too early when things get hard? – When things become difficult in a relationship or on a project at work, do you check out, give up, and walk out? Or do you show resilience and grit to persevere through the difficult moments?
Do you want the ball in your hands when the game is on the line? – As a parent, are you investing in the lives of your children and preparing them for the next stage of life? As a leader, are you using your platform and sphere of influence to mentor others? As an athlete, are you embracing pressure and focusing on the opportunity to perform at your best?
Do you give up on your teammates? – Do you write off people when they let you down, or do you extend grace and mercy knowing that you are not perfect either? Do you look for opportunities to make people better?
Do you go the extra mile to become the very best? – Are you doing everything you can to become the best you can become?
Do you have a commitment to lifelong learning and growth? – No matter how talented or successful you are, are you constantly striving to grow, learn, and get better even when you feel you have “mastered” your craft?
Do you focus on the little things? – Are there times in your life when you go through the motions, or do you place a priority on doing the little things that matter on a consistent basis?

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Mar 20

Walk Down Memory Lane . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

A friend forwarded this to me and I just had to chuckle.  Most of the things I do remember altho’ I was very young, being born in the middle “fifties”.   It brought a smile to my face and I wanted to share with you for “old times sake”!!

Enjoy the memories!

https://safeshare.tv/x/FEDEWZHZu

 

 

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Mar 13

The Art of the Thank You . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

Thank you notes, a dying art form?

Not the way I was brought up.

You always said thank you.   You followed that up with a hand written thank you.

Even in these days of fast paced hectic lives, you should still take time to write a thank you.  (JMHO)  Even though it’s nice to receive something in the mail that isn’t a bill – – – I’ll allow that a text, email or phone call can suffice if you really don’t think you can sit down for twenty  seconds and write a thank you.

But can’t you?  You know how special it makes you feel when you receive one, don’t you think it makes the other person feel just as special when they receive one from you?

Yes, I admit it – it’s a soapbox for me.  And since the world seems to be moving away from any form of written communication, cyber space may soon become all we have to express our gratitude.  Makes me sad.

I have a friend who when I get off onto one of my bad behavior/good behavior soapboxes sarcastically says to me, “Thanks Mom”!  She thinks she’s insulting me, or telling me to back off.  She’s doing just the opposite, because I strive to be like my Mom, who at 98 still writes a handwritten thank you.  My Mom taught me the art of the thank you, and I’m grateful.

Think I’ll go write her one . . . (as soon as I climb down from my soapbox!)

 

 

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