suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

Living Around Unhealthy People?

We’ve all heard the term:  narcissist.   I never really knew what it meant exactly until I looked it up after I heard it used in a conversation one day.  Boy did it strike a chord.  Read this article below and if you have one of these people around you?  Beware.  Do not let them suck the air out of your life.

Whether you think it’s just a behavior or something diagnosable matters not.  It’s not healthy to act this way, or be around someone who does.  From the childhood playground bully, to the adult trying to manipulate you at work, in your social circle or even your own family.

You cannot be expected to change another person’s behavior, but you can change yours and how you deal with theirs.  Thanks to my GF for sharing this with me, and helping me understand the definition.

How To Deal With A Narcissist: The Only Method Guaranteed To Work

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Staying Strong!

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I’ve had a lot of things going on recently, mostly unpleasant and highly irritating.  Tough to be in that position of hearing all the anger and negativity in people you thought you knew.  Even tougher when that anger and negativity is directed toward you.

Staying strong in the face of such adversity isn’t easy, but it is doable.  Staying strong for yourself and your future is so important.  Staying strong despite the “Negative Nellies” chomping at your heels is a test of your fortitude.

Being true to yourself, being a warrior, offering up prayers so you can move those mountains – learning who the true friends are and thanking God for them every day.  But most of all staying strong and true to yourself.

Like the running back carrying the ball, hurdling tacklers and stiff-arming defenders along his way to the end zone – he has an ultimate goal in mind, and will move mountains to get there.

And so will I . . . . and so can you.

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It’s Almost Football Season!!

Yep – I admit it, I’m a football fanatic.  I’m VERY loyal to my teams, heck, I’m very loyal period.

If you know anything about college football, most especially my alma mater, then you know “Coach” – the former head football coach of the University of Texas at Austin – Darrell K. Royal.  When he passed several years ago, an icon was lost – but not his “wisdom” which still lives on today.

As we face trials in our lives, and we are ready to give up, or give in, may his words become an inspiration to all of us:

As long as a person doesn’t admit he is defeated, he is not defeated – He’s just a little behind and isn’t through fighting.”

We are not done fighting!

Bring on Notre Dame!!!!   : -)

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When Someone Says It Better – – –

Then I plan to just “share”.   After all, why reinvent the wheel, as they say??  I hope you enjoy this as much as I did, and gather wisdom from her very wise words!  Thoughts for a Monday morning!

 

http://vickiarcher.com/2016/06/better-not-younger-moment/?utm_source=Vicki+Archer&utm_campaign=225ed29783-Vicki_Archer6_6_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_bd9a6a1e81-225ed29783-130718649&goal=0_bd9a6a1e81-225ed29783-130718649&mc_cid=225ed29783&mc_eid=19578d6902

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You Only Live Once . . .

I was recently reading an article in a monthly newsletter and it’s subject matter was certainly something that I have spent hours reflecting upon.  As I enter the “senior” time of my life, I look back at all the things I postponed, because of _______________.   (Fill in the blank)  There always seems to be a good reason, at the time, to put off the adventure I long for.

This article was entitled:  “Risk While You Can” and written by Dwight Edwards.  Below is an excerpt that I share with you all.

“Not long ago a survey was done among a large group of elderly men and women.  The question was asked, “What three things would you do differently if you could live your life over?”  They were then given a dozen or so possible answers to choose from.  Guess what response ranked number one?  “I would have risked more” was the runaway, first place answer.

How interesting!  In the twilight of their lives, their greatest regret was not that they hadn’t made enough money, hadn’t  visited enough countries, hadn’t made a bigger name for themselves, etc.  It was simply that they had played safe too often, had settled for vanilla too frequently, and too easily had chosen the safety of the bench rather than the dangers and glories of being actually out on the field.  But they couldn’t escape the lingering regret of shunned risks and forfeited possibilities.  Risking always costs; but not risking often costs even more in the long run.  Someone put it well:

“There was a very cautious man,

Who never laughed or played;

He never risked, he never tried,

He never sang or prayed.

And when he one day passed away

His insurance was denied;

For since he never really lived,

They claimed he never died!”

Wayne Gretzky, the greatest to ever skate the ice, is exactly right – “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.”

The author’s advice????     “Let’s take the shots!”

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Building From The Top Down?

Won’t work.  You don’t build anything from the top “down”.  Picture if you will, a house being built.  If you tried to start with the roof, what would hold it up?  Where’s the strong foundation to support it?

One brick at a time, brick by brick – sounds like the lyrics to a country western song, although that certainly dates me as now they just refer to it as “country”!

When people tell you that after your divorce you just try to take it one day at a tie, putting one foot in front of the other.  You’re rebuilding your life, whether you are divorced or widowed, it’s the same.  What you had – is gone.  Poof!

The life you had, even if you felt you had worked your way up to the “top”, is non existent.  You cannot rebuild it from the top down.  You’re going to have to start over whether you want to or not.  Finances may not be the same, certainly family and friends are not going to be the same.  Your purpose in life has suddenly altered and you are starting over.  You’re foundation has shifted as it does in an earthquake – a good synonym for life after divorce, an earthquake hit you and everything has crumbled and fallen down.

So you get yourself up, dust yourself off and as Frank Sinatra once said, “Get back in the race”.

One brick at a time . . . brick by brick . . . one foot in front of the other . . . one day at a time.

 

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Happy Summer – Enjoy!

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Je Ne Sais Quoi –

“Je ne sais quoi”

Je ne sais quoi is French for “I know not what.” In English, we use it to refer to an intangible, distinctive quality, especially of a person, that can’t be put in words—e.g., “I don’t know what makes him so charming. He just has a certain je ne sais quoi.” The phrase is often italicized and occasionally put in quotation marks.

The phrase has been in use in English for at least three centuries. In some old books, it is treated as a broader term representing various philosophical and aesthetic concepts not easily put in words, but by the 19th century je ne sais quoi was widely used the way it is today.

My Father used to use that phrase all the time.  I never quite knew what he meant, but it sounded so cool.  If it were today, and my Father was still alive and using the phrase I could simply go to Google and figure out what the heck he was trying to tell me.  After all these years, I finally did!  (look it up that is)  Therefore, I copied it above and have to admit, it still kinda throws me off.

If I’m going to go with “I know not what”, then I could agree that when it comes to looking into the future and trying to see where I’m headed (or is it heading?), nothing could be more perfect as a description of my feelings.  “I know not what”!

Years ago I would have thought that by my age, life as I had planned it, imagined it, would be so simple.  Loving husband, retirement adventures, mortgages paid off, kids safely launched, grandkids to baby sit, sunsets to enjoy – you get the drift.  This would be the year of my 40th wedding anniversary.

Didn’t quite work out that way.  Now when I look into the future, I somehow keep hearing my Father say, “Je ne sais quoi” and I’m starting to get the picture.

 

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Suddenly Solo?

This statistic is an eye opener!  I just read where there are over 19 million singles over the age of 55!

Wow, that’s a whole lot of people sitting on a sofa eating alone while watching TV on any given night.

No wonder those administrators of Social Security are so worried, they should be!  We are a staggering number.

I can also see why all those dating websites continue to thrive, and give us (false) hope that there really IS someone out there that we can grow old with together.

The breakdown that I would find even more telling would be this – of those 19 million singles over the age of 55, what are the percentages:

  1.  How many are single and have never been married?
  2. How many are single because of divorce?
  3. How many are single because they lost a spouse due to death?

You wonder how many are single because they want to be, and of that number, how many because they never trusted marriage and are happy in their “solo-ness”?  How many are single because they’re divorced and their heart was broken and will never trust again.  Of that number, how many are female, how many are male?

I would love to see a better breakdown, but until then, I remain curious, and curiously alone . . . uh, I mean single.

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Rumble Strips – – –

Ahhhh yes – the rumble strips of life.

What’s a rumble strip you ask?

Think of them as those annoying speed bumps that the city puts down to keep you from speeding.  Some of them are bone jarring.  Yes they slow you down but they’re annoying as . . . .

Well, you get the picture!

So I was sitting here contemplating the rumble strips of my life lately.   I wonder (and long for) when I might have a day where absolutely nothing goes wrong?

Without sounding too whiny, don’t you wish you could experience a day where everything just  . . . works??

There’s always a blasted light bulb out, but of course, it’s one in the vaulted ceiling.  Your cable box only sends you error messages and the cable companies answer?  Unplug it.  Seriously?  You have a huge rain storm and your roof leaks . . . again . . . and the water stain shows up where you JUST HAD IT PAINTED !@#$%^&*?

You decide to try a blind date again, even though you’ve sworn off dating EVER AGAIN – and the dude wants you to pay for your own lemonade and he just orders water.  Your plants die from lack of water, your plants die from too much water.  Your plants die.

Your senior dog can no longer “hold it” and you come home to yet another “accident” on the rug you’ve had cleaned so many times that the next one will cause it to fall apart.  You can’t afford a new one.

You receive a bill in the mail, and five days later a nasty email that says you’re 30 days past due?  HUH??  And while we’re on the subject of the United State Postal Service, can you believe that after you stock up on “Forever Stamps” before they raise the price, that they now have lowered it??  Double Seriously??

I could go on, but that would just be fruitless (like those Meyer lemon trees in my backyard) because complaining isn’t going to help.  I just have to accept and tolerate that my life is full of rumble strips and maybe a handful of . . .

Oh yeah, my M&M bowl is empty.  SIGH!!

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