suddenlysinglewomen

Becoming the best version of yourself

May 15

Here’s To Finding “Contentment” . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

“Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us”.

I believe in some corners this is referred to as the Serenity Prayer.  Serenity, contentment, are these things that we can strive for and ever find in our busy lives?

I recently took a Meditation and Happiness class.  It was two classes, offered on consecutive Friday evenings at a nearby University.  Sure, why not?  What else am I doing on a Friday night?  Wink Wink . . .

The teacher had been trained by Tibetan Monks, had spent time with the Dali Lama.  (Did I spell that right?)   He had the lose flowing garments, and looked like a yogi.  He had his floor mat and pillow, spoke soothingly, taught us about breathing and releasing the mind.  I came closer to “getting it” than I ever have before, but still . . .

His mantra was much shorter than the one above, and focused on seeking “happiness”.  I have a friend who refers to it as seeking “quiet”.  Semantics.

I do believe that as I get older, it is important for me to move farther away from the frenetic life I used to thrive on, and those people who keep it that way.  Therefore, as it says above, I desire to be content with myself, and allow my soul the freedom, and dare I add – joy, to sing, dance, praise and love!

I wish these things for all of  you.

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May 6

Drama Queens??? Who Needs Them??

by suddenlysinglewomen

“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”

If getting back up is living, then I am alive and well!

When I was very young, being a child of older parents – I was always around much older adults.  There was more than the fair share of cranky old women and men.  I never understood why they were always in a bad mood.  I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with me, but I wondered what made them that way?

I promised myself then and there that I would not grow up to be a cranky old woman.

Uh Oh!

Now that I myself am an adult, surrounded by other adults – I think I’m beginning to understand.  I still don’t want to be “one of them, the cranky ones” – but I’m starting to understand the how and why they got that way.  The difference today?  I can make a choice to not let it turn me into the same thing.  I can remove myself.

When I read the above statement, it was like a very bright light bulb went off in my brain.  By nature I am the fixer, the pleaser, the consensus builder – but some people just do not want to be happy.  They thrive in their “poor me” land.  It’s the way they seek attention.  Not this woman.  Much like the past post I wrote several years ago about the “bobbin” on top of the water?  That’s me, I’m going to pop back up onto the surface.

Scroll back up and read the quote again.  Decide to walk away from the Drama Queens (or Kings) in your life.  Reside in a place where people make you laugh, and show you respect.  It’s hard to walk away, some of these people have been in my life for 30+ years, but they’re weighing me down.  I will be the Phoenix rising from the ashes, see me soar!

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Apr 28

“Carryover”!! It Shouldn’t Happen But It Does . . .

by suddenlysinglewomen

I love this article.  It sounds exactly like something my GF’s and I would sit down to discuss after a bottle of wine on another “alone” Friday or Saturday night.  In it, it does elude to the possibility of you having another man in your life, but even if you don’t, the points are still OH SO VALID!

Nothing drives you crazier than going out with a new person and feeling like you’re having to “live up to” or “compensate for” the last woman to sit across the table from him.  I have never held anyone else accountable for the things my ex did, other than my ex.  So hear you go!  Read and enjoy these thoughts

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lee-gaitan/five-things-divorced-wome_b_6314616.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

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Apr 11

Changing Your Expectations?

by suddenlysinglewomen

A friend recently shared this little snippet, pretty sure there’s more where this came from so I’ll include the credit and link below should you choose to scope out more!  This one tho’, speaks loudly to me.  Read it first, then I’ll share my thoughts!

By:  Danielle LaPorte at #Truthbombs.   http://bit.ly/truthbombs

Truthbomb: “People are going to be who they are most of the time. In character, not out of character. We are — for better or for worse — generally predictable. So there’s a lot of sanity in just flowing with someone’s nature. Accept it. Forgive it. Just tolerate it. Or peace out if you don’t want it in your life. But don’t waste too much time trying to change it.”

Not long ago I was sharing something I’d read with a group of my GF’s.  I was commenting on how very sad it is that advice these days tells us if we don’t want to be disappointed in people, we should “lower” our expectations.  That just goes against everything I was taught and shown as a child of the 50’s.

Later, as a teacher, I was constantly reminded that my students would live up to my expectations.  If I didn’t expect much from them, they would give me just that – not much.  If I expected really good things from them, and held them to a high standard, they rarely let me down.

As I grow older in this 21st century, I am sad to report tho’ that a lot of people just don’t give a “sh*t” about what you think about them or their actions.  According to the quote above, I’m just supposed to tolerate it.

My biggest mistake I have found, is expecting people to handle situations the same as I would.  Politeness and good manners – what happened to them?  Everyone is so focused on their own needs, that thinking of others first, has disappeared.  That is a very sad state of affairs.

So maybe it’s time for me to take the last line above to heart, and not waste too much time trying to change it, or the people around me?  I’ll just be content to know that I will continue to put other’s needs first, knowing that I am no saint – but I am polite, have good manners and will continue to be so.

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Apr 4

Pause – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

Sharing from my bud CS, my cowgirl back-up who always has my back.  You know, the kind of GF that supports you even when it’s not convenient?  Everyone needs one!  And it seems particularly good to share this at the beginning of a week, a short but sweet lesson!

 

“Practice the pause.

When in doubt, pause.

When angry, pause.

When tired, pause.

When stressed, pause.”

Hope this helps you get through your week a little more relaxed – remember to breathe!

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Mar 10

May The Force Be With You – – –

by suddenlysinglewomen

Quote: “Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.”

Sorry – couldn’t resist the Star Wars lead in!  I love the series and can’t wait for the next one to come out.  After seeing installment 7, I’m so ready for the next one.  Guess I’ll have to be a little patient?  Peace and patience – something I strive for every day.

What resonates with me in the quote above is the freedom in your soul!  I LOVE to “sing, dance, praise and love” – I try to do this every day.  Like the words in the Country song, “Sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching” – it’s amazing the life this gives to your soul.

So today, I challenge my followers to sing loudly, dance wildly, praise often and love always!  See if your soul doesn’t welcome this and make YOU a force to be reckoned with!

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Feb 24

Lesson #45

by suddenlysinglewomen

“Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Whether you believe in a higher being or power, or not, life should be viewed as a gift.

You only have to be present at the birth of a new baby to understand the preciousness of each new life – it’s a beginning.

My life post divorce has been a gift.  When I started the journey, I would not have been able to say that.  I thought of it as a punishment and wondered what in the world I had done so awful that this was the outcome?

I have found a new voice in my head, and met many new and wonderfully strong women along the way.  I have found a voice through this blog, and a way to share feelings and receive validation of my own.

I’ve taken so many steps backward, but so many more forward – every day is progress, every day is a new beginning to be a better person.

Thank you for being my journey “gift” on the 45 Life Lessons.  I’m not going away, you’ll just not see me in your inbox every morning.   I look forward to exploring more of life’s gifts this year and even if they’re not tied up, all pretty and perfect, with a big frilly bow – I still look forward to receiving them.

May your journey be peaceful and full of love and adventure!  Blessings!

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Feb 23

Lesson #44

by suddenlysinglewomen

“Yield.”

My first thought with this word, or concept, was as it pertains to traffic and operating a motor vehicle.   I’m thinking I remember that we’re to yield to the right, or you yield to the car already in the intersection or a traffic circle, or the pedestrian in the crosswalk.  Slowing down to yield could save a life, or at the very least avoid a heavy repair bill.  But people don’t.

My second thought with this word was regarding certain political speeches where they “yield” the floor, but that doesn’t equate to agreeing to the other side’s point of view.   It’s politeness in politics.  (is that an oxymoron?)  But in most situations, people don’t.

My third thought was how it pertains to an argument or a fight.  To yield is, in essence, to give in or give up.  In our society, we’re built on competition and thrive on winning.  To yield would mean to lose – and that’s never looked upon favorably.  I don’t know many people who care to yield to a fight, once they’re in it.

In the equestrian world, there’s such a thing as a leg yield.  It’s simple, it’s just gently pressing against the side of your horse with the inside of your leg to get them to move over.  Once they do, you stop pressing.  They’ve done what you wanted, you reward them by taking the pressure off.

Maybe as this relates to a Life Lesson, it just means to take a step back.  Don’t be so unbending in your opinions.  Don’t be so blinded by your own that you can’t see the other side.  Maybe if you do, the pressure will stop?

 

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Feb 22

Lesson #43

by suddenlysinglewomen

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”

Well, strictly speaking, I suppose that’s true.  Although I note it’s not saying that if you do ask you WILL get, right?

This is kind of like the lottery officials telling you that if you don’t buy a ticket, you can’t win.

A simple truth but on a broader scale, I don’t really know how this works.

I’ve been out of the workplace a long time; I hear it said all the time that you should ask for promotions and salary boosts.  That would be hard for me, I’m one of those that always hopes to be recognized and rewarded because of merit – I’ve earned it.  I shouldn’t have to ask for it.

The world is a busy place though, and sometimes you are not going to get noticed, or helped if you don’t call attention to your needs, your wants, your desires.

Next time I feel really strongly about something I want, maybe I’ll take this approach?  It will need to be reasonable however, because I’m thinking that asking for something like a winning football season next Fall might be too much to hope for.

Baby steps . . .

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Feb 21

Lesson #42

by suddenlysinglewomen

“Take a deep breath.  It calms the mind.”

I’ve recently signed up to take a class about meditation.  Everyone I know that “does it”, swears by it.  I know they will tell me to focus on my breath.  I’ve tried before, without much success.

This time could be different!  But there is a reason when things happen that you hear people “sigh” – it’s taking a cleansing breath to settle what’s troubling you.

My mind is rarely calm, but I’m willing to try.  Let’s just hope I don’t hyperventilate, and the racket you hear isn’t me passing out!!

SIGH . . . . .

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