Siddhartha Gautama, The Buddha – speaks sage advice! I quote the Buddha as we all strive to find balance and contentment in life:
“Health is the greatest gift, Contentment the greatest wealth, Faithfulness the best relationship.”
What wise words to follow. Peace to you all.
Then I plan to just “share”. After all, why reinvent the wheel, as they say?? I hope you enjoy this as much as I did, and gather wisdom from her very wise words! Thoughts for a Monday morning!
I was recently reading an article in a monthly newsletter and it’s subject matter was certainly something that I have spent hours reflecting upon. As I enter the “senior” time of my life, I look back at all the things I postponed, because of _______________. (Fill in the blank) There always seems to be a good reason, at the time, to put off the adventure I long for.
This article was entitled: “Risk While You Can” and written by Dwight Edwards. Below is an excerpt that I share with you all.
“Not long ago a survey was done among a large group of elderly men and women. The question was asked, “What three things would you do differently if you could live your life over?” They were then given a dozen or so possible answers to choose from. Guess what response ranked number one? “I would have risked more” was the runaway, first place answer.
How interesting! In the twilight of their lives, their greatest regret was not that they hadn’t made enough money, hadn’t visited enough countries, hadn’t made a bigger name for themselves, etc. It was simply that they had played safe too often, had settled for vanilla too frequently, and too easily had chosen the safety of the bench rather than the dangers and glories of being actually out on the field. But they couldn’t escape the lingering regret of shunned risks and forfeited possibilities. Risking always costs; but not risking often costs even more in the long run. Someone put it well:
“There was a very cautious man,
Who never laughed or played;
He never risked, he never tried,
He never sang or prayed.
And when he one day passed away
His insurance was denied;
For since he never really lived,
They claimed he never died!”
Wayne Gretzky, the greatest to ever skate the ice, is exactly right – “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.”
The author’s advice???? “Let’s take the shots!”
The other day, I was perusing articles of similar content to my blog, and subsequent book. I love being able to share and pass along information to you all when I find something of value!
These two sites seem to hold valuable information when searching for financial planners, etc. Whether your divorce is impending, current or past and “over” – this will always be good information for you to have. Even for those of you still married, someday you may be alone and/or widowed – you still have to know how to make smart decisions. Therefore, I share:
“Dear Liz: Every so often your column mentions an organization that lists financial planners that are fee-only. I cannot find this information on your site. Please keep mentioning this in your column.
Answer: You can get referrals to fee-only planners who charge by the hour at http://www.garrettplanningnetwork.com. If you’re looking for fee-only planners who charge a retainer or a percentage of assets, you’ll find those at http://www.napfa.org.”
Always looking out for you!!
Won’t work. You don’t build anything from the top “down”. Picture if you will, a house being built. If you tried to start with the roof, what would hold it up? Where’s the strong foundation to support it?
One brick at a time, brick by brick – sounds like the lyrics to a country western song, although that certainly dates me as now they just refer to it as “country”!
When people tell you that after your divorce you just try to take it one day at a tie, putting one foot in front of the other. You’re rebuilding your life, whether you are divorced or widowed, it’s the same. What you had – is gone. Poof!
The life you had, even if you felt you had worked your way up to the “top”, is non existent. You cannot rebuild it from the top down. You’re going to have to start over whether you want to or not. Finances may not be the same, certainly family and friends are not going to be the same. Your purpose in life has suddenly altered and you are starting over. You’re foundation has shifted as it does in an earthquake – a good synonym for life after divorce, an earthquake hit you and everything has crumbled and fallen down.
So you get yourself up, dust yourself off and as Frank Sinatra once said, “Get back in the race”.
One brick at a time . . . brick by brick . . . one foot in front of the other . . . one day at a time.
“Je ne sais quoi”
Je ne sais quoi is French for “I know not what.” In English, we use it to refer to an intangible, distinctive quality, especially of a person, that can’t be put in words—e.g., “I don’t know what makes him so charming. He just has a certain je ne sais quoi.” The phrase is often italicized and occasionally put in quotation marks.
The phrase has been in use in English for at least three centuries. In some old books, it is treated as a broader term representing various philosophical and aesthetic concepts not easily put in words, but by the 19th century je ne sais quoi was widely used the way it is today.
My Father used to use that phrase all the time. I never quite knew what he meant, but it sounded so cool. If it were today, and my Father was still alive and using the phrase I could simply go to Google and figure out what the heck he was trying to tell me. After all these years, I finally did! (look it up that is) Therefore, I copied it above and have to admit, it still kinda throws me off.
If I’m going to go with “I know not what”, then I could agree that when it comes to looking into the future and trying to see where I’m headed (or is it heading?), nothing could be more perfect as a description of my feelings. “I know not what”!
Years ago I would have thought that by my age, life as I had planned it, imagined it, would be so simple. Loving husband, retirement adventures, mortgages paid off, kids safely launched, grandkids to baby sit, sunsets to enjoy – you get the drift. This would be the year of my 40th wedding anniversary.
Didn’t quite work out that way. Now when I look into the future, I somehow keep hearing my Father say, “Je ne sais quoi” and I’m starting to get the picture.
This statistic is an eye opener! I just read where there are over 19 million singles over the age of 55!
Wow, that’s a whole lot of people sitting on a sofa eating alone while watching TV on any given night.
No wonder those administrators of Social Security are so worried, they should be! We are a staggering number.
I can also see why all those dating websites continue to thrive, and give us (false) hope that there really IS someone out there that we can grow old with together.
The breakdown that I would find even more telling would be this – of those 19 million singles over the age of 55, what are the percentages:
You wonder how many are single because they want to be, and of that number, how many because they never trusted marriage and are happy in their “solo-ness”? How many are single because they’re divorced and their heart was broken and will never trust again. Of that number, how many are female, how many are male?
I would love to see a better breakdown, but until then, I remain curious, and curiously alone . . . uh, I mean single.
“It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over”!
I saw an old interview the other day with Marlo Thomas. I just love her voice, deep and raspy and sexy sounding. I flash back to her old series, “That Girl”. I thought, and still do, that she’s so beautiful. Perfect skin, perfect hair – of course when I was younger and watching it, I had no idea that she had makeup artists and hair stylists keeping it that way. But I digress . . .
They were talking to her about her life, her father, her marriage, her acting, her philanthropy, etc. She’s a very active woman. They wondered where her energy and drive come from? That’s where the quote from her above comes in.
“It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over”!
Is that similar to when the Fat Lady sings?
Is today really the first day of the rest of my life?
I’ve lost, and given up, a lot over the past couple of years, enough to make me sit up and take notice. And gosh darn it, I’m tired of it. It’s time for me to kick it into gear and stop giving up on the things that mean so much to me. It’s time to adopt a new mantra:
“It Ain’t Over Till It’s Over”!
Ahhhh yes – the rumble strips of life.
What’s a rumble strip you ask?
Think of them as those annoying speed bumps that the city puts down to keep you from speeding. Some of them are bone jarring. Yes they slow you down but they’re annoying as . . . .
Well, you get the picture!
So I was sitting here contemplating the rumble strips of my life lately. I wonder (and long for) when I might have a day where absolutely nothing goes wrong?
Without sounding too whiny, don’t you wish you could experience a day where everything just . . . works??
There’s always a blasted light bulb out, but of course, it’s one in the vaulted ceiling. Your cable box only sends you error messages and the cable companies answer? Unplug it. Seriously? You have a huge rain storm and your roof leaks . . . again . . . and the water stain shows up where you JUST HAD IT PAINTED !@#$%^&*?
You decide to try a blind date again, even though you’ve sworn off dating EVER AGAIN – and the dude wants you to pay for your own lemonade and he just orders water. Your plants die from lack of water, your plants die from too much water. Your plants die.
Your senior dog can no longer “hold it” and you come home to yet another “accident” on the rug you’ve had cleaned so many times that the next one will cause it to fall apart. You can’t afford a new one.
You receive a bill in the mail, and five days later a nasty email that says you’re 30 days past due? HUH?? And while we’re on the subject of the United State Postal Service, can you believe that after you stock up on “Forever Stamps” before they raise the price, that they now have lowered it?? Double Seriously??
I could go on, but that would just be fruitless (like those Meyer lemon trees in my backyard) because complaining isn’t going to help. I just have to accept and tolerate that my life is full of rumble strips and maybe a handful of . . .
Oh yeah, my M&M bowl is empty. SIGH!!
suddenlysinglewomen 