suddenlysinglewomen

Nope, it really isn’t.  But how do we prevent it when/if we’re alone?  It’s exhausting coming up with ways to entertain yourself other than a TV tray and your DVR!  The need for companionship is paramount in anyone’s life.  Even more so is the need for touch.  So how do we go about making sure we don’t end up alone and lonely every night?

I don’t know about you but I can find things to occupy myself during the day.  If you are a working woman, then your day is beyond full.  If you are not, there are activities out there that you can occupy yourself with whether it’s volunteering, part time work, book clubs, needlework groups, bible studies or church related activities, physical activities such as walking, running or fitness classes.  You can take classes or if you have a particular skill set you can share – teach a class?  It’s almost spring time here, hard to believe since it’s just the first part of February but my trees are budding so how about a gardening project?

Oh, . . . but the nights . . .

Those are the toughest for me.  GF’s suggest meeting for lunch, but then those same GF’s go home to their husbands at night and suddenly they forget that there’s another meal of the day that you might enjoy sharing with people (rather than your dogs!)  We’ve talked about this before, it’s a couple’s world and most especially at night – couples go out with couples.  Why is that?  What are they afraid of?  Or do they just not even think about it?

So what do you do to fill your time?  How do you escape your loneliness?  Would love to hear from you.  In the meantime, I share a link below that talks about emotional wellness because keeping our spirit happy and healthy is just as important as our physical well being.  May all our spirits rise this week!

//www.definebody.com/living/live-to-be-inspired-and-be-inspired-to-live/feed/

Nothing you might say.  But as I was reading this article the other day it struck me just how many of these things we do have in common with a college graduate. They’re leaving the sanctuary of “school”, we’re leaving the sanctuary of a “marriage”.  Both places give you a feeling of security, that you’ll be taken care of, that you know what the next day might bring and what you need to do to get through it.

Then the cold cruel world – aka “reality” – sets in.  It’s a jumping off point for a new beginning, and not always easy.  As a matter of fact, it’s just downright difficult.  You graduate thinking that you understand the world, and know what’s out there.  You have a plan.  You’re smart, you’re accomplished and you have alot to offer.  You’re also one in a million, and I don’t mean that in the positive sense.

They’re entering (or trying to) the work force, you’re entering the life of a single person, but you’re training just doesn’t quite prepare you for the reality.  No one else thinks you’re quite as special as you think you are.

The article calls it a “quarter life crisis”, so what do we call it for ourselves when we divorce after 20, 25, 30 years of marriage.  Is this our “three quarter life crisis”?  Whatever you choose to call it, you didn’t ask for it but you are going to have to see it through.  Sometimes you just don’t get to vote when dealing with how other’s treat you, but you do get to vote on what YOU do about it.  Keep that head up!

http://houston.culturemap.com/newsdetail/12-02-12-the-graduate-a-millennial-copes-with-his-quarter-life-crisis/?utm_source=CultureMap+Houston+Daily+Digest&utm_campaign=96023ef7b5-Daily_Digest_Houston_2012_12_03&utm_medium=email

It said I could cross post if I copied so I did but have heard that it did not come thru.  This time I copied the “URL” (I think that’s what it’s called??) so hopefully the “Ten Quotes” will come up from the link below!!  So sorry – I’m a WIP – (work in progress)!!

http://houston.culturemap.com/newsdetail/10-28-12-06-26-on-the-road-to-success-positive-change-10-best-quotes-from-the-texas-conference-for-women/

Sharing here a wonderful article I read this morning, sharing quotes from a conference for women.  Some of the quotes are strong, some are humorous, but all ring true at various times in our lives.  Hope you enjoy them as much as I did, even if only a couple ring true for you!!  Have  a great week all!!

P.S.  Up to 40 blog followers – thanks to all of you who have “passed me along” to others!!

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I belong to a wonderful “DRG” – that’s “Divorce Recovery Group”!  I’ve recommended before to find people who have been through what you’ve been through, women that “get it”, to help you in your healing journey.  You never know what to expect from this group, some weeks we laugh, some we cry, but we all leave feeling better for having shared.   It was at one of our weekly get togethers that I received this handout.  It’s the Creed of Optimist International.  It’s a Promise that I have made myself, and I hope that you will too.  Here goes:

Promise Yourself

• To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
• To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
• To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
• To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
• To think only of the best.
• To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
• To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
• To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.
• To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others
• To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

It’s a lot to tackle all at once, so maybe try a new one every week?  Maybe you just focus on one?  Maybe you make your own promise to yourself?  Regardless, we can all try to be more optimistic in our lives.  We might even surprise ourselves!

There are a lot of things I expect in my life.  I expect to wake up every morning.  I expect to walk the dogs since they’ve let me sleep through the night.  I expect that there are bills to be paid, errands to be run, calls and emails to return – you get the picture.  I’m one of those people who does what’s “expected” of me.  I was brought up that way.  I can handle what is expected.

However, how you deal with the “un”expected really shows the world what you are made of.  What do you do when something “un”expected is thrown your direction?  Do you panic?  Do you scream?  Do you deal with it?  Do you have your very own little motivational angel that sits on your shoulder whispering in your ear that you “can do it”?

Life is full of those unexpected challenges sent your way just to test your mettle.  Like it or not, dealing with the unexpected should be an expected part of your life.  Sometimes the unexpected ends up being a good thing, like looking down and finding a quarter laying on the ground in the parking lot, or finding a crumpled five dollar bill in your coat pocket from last winter, or receiving a voice mail from a friend you haven’t seen in years – I could go on.

The unexpected isn’t always a bad thing.  It can be good, and how we rise to the occasion can define us as a person.  Yes, it can also create chaos and knock us off our feet when we don’t see it coming.  I recently read an article in a paper, The Vail Daily, written by a life coach and motivational speaker, Michael Norton.  This is what he said:

   “So go ahead and expect the unexpected, be prepared or unprepared, life is going to come at us whether we want it to or not.  And what will matter and define us is how we choose at that moment to respond to the unexpected happenings in our life, good of bad.”

Being a divorced woman was unexpected.  The possibility of spending the rest of my life as a single woman is beginning to be expected.  Expected or unexpected, I’ve decided to “go with the flow”, “roll with the punches” and “what will be will be”.  As my father used to say, “C’est la vie” – that’s life.

One of the things that has been most comforting to me in this “post” marriage journey has been talking with so many women who have been through similar devastating break-ups.  You’re not alone . . .  It doesn’t even have to be a “marriage” per se, it could be the end of a very serious long term relationship – just as painful without the “piece of paper”.

When we share our stories one thing always jumps out at me.  That is, how many of us think there was something wrong with us to make this happen.  We ask ourselves what did we do wrong?  Why are we so broken that we couldn’t make it work?   One such recent conversation brought my attention to another blog site called Baggagereclaim.com (love you BR!!).  One of the first postings that jumped out at me I have copied the link to below.

We’re NOT broken, just because the relationship/marriage breaks down.  I hope you will check out this particular posting and start to feel better about yourself as a woman who can survive the break up without being broken.

10 Thoughts For The Weekend On… Breakups. Remember – It’s Broken, You’re Not